Not allowing heavily pregnant woman to use a loo

[pelvicfloorisnomore]

I’m imminently due my third baby and have a massive bump. Popped to the local coop post school run and as I was checking out was desperate for the loo. My pelvic floor is pretty shot from previous 2 kids, the baby had dropped during the school run walk so I was feeling like I could not wait. The store was empty bar a couple of pensioners. I asked if I could use the staff loo as desperate, there are no other loos nearby and I was unlikely to make it the half a mile home in time. The member of staff said no against policy and I soiled myself before I even made it the front door of the shop. Completely humiliating and had to walk home like that and could have been avoided if a little kindness shown.

AIBU to expect some flexibility in branch policy to accommodate for those in need? It hardly fits with the coop key value of caring for others.

Why your name, address have an impact on whether you are insured for accidents. Do you think they write that into insurance policies? Don't be ridiculous.

As I said, I went for a to the look before I left the house.

Not sure if the point is going over your head or you're just purposely ignoring it to fit with the narrative you want to hear.

Irrespective of whether they are the Co-op's values, those are not the values of their insurance provider. Similarly, if you were expecting an insurance policy to be flexible, where do you draw the line? Because it's always going to omit someone who arguably has a reasonable case.

It is often to do with insurance though, I know that for a fact. Of course, not everyone has the same level of insurance.

And it's not just about leaving no one in the shop at all - staff can and do get reprimanded if they leave their post for any reason, even if there's cover. Retail can be pretty draconian.

How many members of staff were on? If less than 3, then of course they couldn't let you.
I work for Co-op & the policy is if there are 3 or more staff members available (ie not on a break, counting safes etc) then one member of staff CAN accompany a member of the public to the staff toilets if the staff are comfortable doing this.
Members of the public cannot be left alone in the back areas & the staff are under zero obligation to let anyone use the toilets.
That being said, if there was enough staff, I'd have allowed it, but others (maybe a team on that were all male) would not.
I certainly would not be accompanying a male on my own as it wouldn't be safe, but a male member of my team may feel differently, but wouldn't accompany a lone woman.

I totally get policies and whatnot, but I also think that kindness should be forefront.

I recall one of my sons telling me he needed the toilet in the local (small) Asda - he was about 3 and a half, maybe 4, and so couldn't wait long. I remember telling him ok, we'll have to go and come back later - a staff member heard me and kindly let me use the toilet with him.

PS - yes I've worked in a shop.

I’m a bit shocked by some of these responses. If you are ever in OP’s situation due to pregnancy, food poisoning, IBS or any other cause, would you expect to be scolded for “not planning better”? It can happen to anyone, you know.

I used to work in a shop and we did occasionally bend the rules and let customers use the staff toilet. One of us had to wait in the corridor outside the toilets so we could escort them out of the staff area afterwards.

I agree, but the fact is, kindness won't get you out of having to pay out thousands because your insurance doesn't cover accidents and kindness won't help some poor person on minimum wage who gets fired because they were nice enough to let someone use the toilet, and it all goes wrong.

We absolutely need to campaign for more public toilets. I think that's the only real solution.

This reminds me: I was at a well known clothes store (beginning with P) which does have public toilets and a cafe here - but the toilets need a code to enter - when a lady went up to a member of staff asking if she could be let into the toilets because she was on her period and was caught in a situation where she didn’t have time queue up to buy something to get the code, and the member of staff refused! The lady was clearly distressed, and I was shocked and angered at the poor customer service.

Wow, now that is out of order. I can't see any reason for that other than nastiness!

Is it everyone you'd bend the rules for? Or just people with visible issues like pregnancy or small children?
If a homeless looking 50 year old man smelling of alcohol came in saying he had food poisoning and could he use your loo would you have let him? If there was only you and say one other woman in the building?

The minimum wage shop floor staff probably aren't allowed to bend the rules.

No, I've been saying that all along. I thought the poster said it was a toilet the public could use, or do you have to buy something first in Primark? If so, that's policy I don't agree with!

Kindness from who though?

If kindness on behalf of senior management telling staff they can use their discretion to allow people to use the staff loos if needed and wont be penalised then fair enough, but the suggestion from lots of the posts here is that it should be kindness on behalf of a minimum waged staff member risking their job ir at least a disciplinary, and if they don't want to do so they are cruel, which I think is unfair....

It will be customer toilets, not public toilets. The policy isn't the fault of the staff member - its probably not "nastiness".

People on job interviews are being invited in, will be taken through a specific route which might not be possible from the front (think the office is near a back door they are told to use) and are ultimately there as part of the company. Members of the public are not.

Staff will be told to wear closed toe, low heel shoes. They might even be issues shoes. Sandra doing her shopping might be in her best open toed heels... Closed toe will be required because of heavy items potentially falling and potentially dangerous spillages.

I agree wholeheartedly, and I've been arguing it's not the staff's fault on this thread. I misread it and didn't realise you had to buy something first! Never been in a Primark. Silly policy IMO, but you can't blame the employees if they're worried about their jobs.

If you're the person who stands to lose their job you'd understandably make that a priority.

3 times - also done 3 lot of toilet training - 2 of whom really struggled - also now have older relatives who often need to go more frequently.

The OP doesn't know why she was refused - could be a company wide policy - could have been something like location of toilets in this building - could have been timing with few staff on or insurance reasons - she could write and see if Co-op can explain why.

Sad fact is it often very hard to access public toilets and many shops are very reluctant to let access to staff toilets for a variety of reasons many stated on this thread.

Our toilets were in our stock room so it was actually physically dangerous. We used to have customers shout eg ‘oh my son CAN’T use your bathroom? We have to go to the hotel?’ regularly or mention us on Facebook. I’m so sorry that happened to you op but better trying somewhere that has toilets signposted or a hotel

You said you "can't see any reason other than nastiness". I don't what else you might have said previously.

That was because I thought it was a public toilet that anyone was allowed to use but the employee just wouldn't hand the code over! You do get some petty people like that occassionally.

Now that I know it's a customer-only toilet then I completely understand why they would not give the code. Like I said, my reading comprehension failed me, and I've been arguing throughout this thread that it's not the staff's fault if policy doesn't allow them to let people use the loos.

@easylikeasundaymorn

Not suggested at any point that the the front line staff should put their livelihood at risk. I am talking about the company culture. As a company, if you are going to nail to the mast that the key value of your business is “caring for others” and “social responsibility” then I would expect that to be backed io by senior management when managing shopfloor staff who exercised their discretion to help so am someone . Otherwise they should perhaps change their headline values to caring for others & social responsibility (small print: unless it conflicts with our insurance providers t&cs).

Funnily enough, it was only ever women who asked me if they could use the toilet. The only men who asked were asking on behalf of a child.

I probably would let a man use the unisex downstairs toilet if he seemed desperate, yes. I’d just wait at the end of the corridor near the exit door which opens on to shop floor. As soon as the man left the self-contained cubicle, I’d open the exit door, walk through it and hold it open for him. There were no staff items cluttering up this corridor, so nothing to steal except toilet paper.

But they haven't specifically said that their care or social responsibilty comes in the form of offering up the loos to everyone, have they? It might come in the form of selling fairtrade products or looking out for their staff. No business can be everything to everyone, although it would be nice if they could!