To think people's manners in public are deteriorating

[UmbrellaEllaEllaElla]

Last week til now I've noticed:

• Someone watching porn out loud on the DLR
• People listening to videos and music loudly even on the morning train (it happens on later trains but I've not noticed it before during the morning commute)
• People pushing and not saying sorry. Just simply avoiding eye contact

It's been really unpleasant. Are people boy embarrassed to behave this way?

Oh that would have got my back up! And may have responded with, do you mind, go get your manager.

The attitude of some shop staff, it's like you being in the shop is an inconvenience to them. And then people wonder why retail is dying.

I think technology wise we have moved into a new era and people are trying to find the new norms which is causing friction. Hopefully one day it will be universally accepted that we don't do it, much like smoking on public transport

@Brefugee
Can confirm I am also menopausal and not shy of bringing out my Girl Guider voice when required . . . I absolutely give way less of a shit these days.
I do try and judge the situation so I (hopefully) don't compromise my own safety but I will cheerfully call out poor behaviour. Usually with fairly positive results . .

I think the more of us that say it the better - surely if you're asked every day to put headphones in your brain might eventually realise it is easier to bring some headphones. Obviously, your safety has to be thought of. It really annoys me. I no longer go to cinemas or the theatre or anywhere I'm trapped sitting down because of the rudeness of people. I dread flying and taking the train, but I can't avoid the train. Restaurants are pot luck too.

From my experience, the elderly are ruder than the younger generation. Also i believe that those who are stuck in their own ways - ie refuse, won’t deal with 21stC tech are ruder still.

Guessing it’s something to do with everything is online, needs an app etc.

Yes, all of the above. Chatting in the cinema, answering and using the phone too. On the train, playing music out loud, feet on seats and hands down pants!

Oh my god - hands down pants! How could I forget. Made easier with the fashion being for jogging bottoms. If I see someone touching their willy in public I do a look of horror on my face that I turn to disgust as I look away . I hope it registers with them. Vile. When I see this I remember why I'm constantly washing my hands after being out in public and use wet wipes before eating out.

On the porn thing, I was shocked on an Al Italia flight before Covid. The guy in the seat next to me was watching gay porn on a tablet, with max volume! Two teenaged girls were next to him, I pointed it out to the Steward and he shrugged and walked off.

All the way from Schiphol to Brindisi.

I don't think manners are deteriorating. Other people have often been irritating since the dawn of time 😂. But there are new ways to be rude and annoying now, like with mobile devices, as you mention 😊

Oh just thought of something fun to add - I was sitting across from a guy on the train recently, and he kept picking his nose and eating it! A grown adult man. WTF! I tried to look away out the window but we kept going through dark tunnels and I'd see the reflection of him in the window 😂😭. Was too crowded to move seats!

I have grey hair now and i rule the train. It really works. (but you have to not be embarassed at people looking at you)

I love that! Be careful though.

Sheer Piggery. Hilarious & will steal that saying. I'm currently sat on a train, 3 seats are taken up with the largest Selfridges bags you can imagine. The owner of said bags is chomping on a Greggs pastry while stuffing his face in the next breath with a bag of quavers. Whilst texting with the beep sound. Avoid Hampstead that's my next stop! ✋

Why didn't you just say can you turn that down please?

omg have you experienced the driver's doing a U-turn in the middle of busy roads? They don't wait for a gap in the traffic they just decide the queue is too long, they indicate and rely on other drivers not wanting to damage their vehicles. This entitlement both baffles me & grinds my gears (excuse the non-intential pun).

Sorry me again... He's now sucking his quaver fingers very very loudly.

I agree but people my DH’s age and older, so 60+, are at least as bad with the playing audio thing as teenagers in my experience. It’s very odd; so many playing facebook reels, music and having loud conversations on speaker on their mobile phones. One of his friends has a tendency to do it but luckily his wife always tells him not to when she’s there. I cringe, it’s so solipsistic.

I love public transport and think it is one of the best things about the UK but the people. Sigh! I now wear my noise cancelling headphones and it makes for far more pleasant journeys.

People watching videos or music without headphones.
People who take their shoes off and then put their feet on the seats. 😖
People who eat smelly food and then leave the rubbish on the floor.
and whilst I have no issue if someone wants to vape, what is this new trend for vaping on public transport.

I find myself having to be more aggressive/passive aggressive than I want to be just to get people to being more considerate of others. I know people have always pushed the boundaries of society but I wish there was way to pull back on the deterioration of manners. Life would be so much more pleasurable.

I've noticed that the newest generation of retail workers don't know to handle or appear taken aback by the traditional "please/thank you" sequence that everyone used to have ingrained in them. When you say "thank you", they often give a slightly unusual reply like "no worries" or (looking surprised) "oh, it doesn't matter". It doesn't bother me but it's really interesting that it's changed. I suppose at one time people would have said "good day" so everything changes.

Speaking of different age groups, though, the boomers can be a bit grabby. I went for a coffee alone last week and a couple of retired men practically sprinted to grab the last table that was rightfully mine, another table came up while I was in the queue and that was swiftly taken by more retired people who had seen me miss out on the previous one but were behind me in the queue. They all ignored that I was first ☹️

Think we have found the answer. This is how people think.

On a thread here just a couple of weeks ago a poster was whanging on saying "Why the hell should I thank someone for holding the door open for me? I didn't ask them to" and then doubled down, over several posts, in response to his/her critics.
It takes 0 time or energy to just say "Thanks" FFS.

If I can inject a little positivity to the thread, I was at a further education college today and was surprised by the pleasantness and good manners of the young people there!

I would have turned around and politely asked them to be quiet.
I've done this before in the cinema. Makes me so mad!

I couldn't agree more, I put the volume up on my headphones to drown out the man who sat next to me punching his keyboard on the train. He tapped me on the shoulder & asked me to turn the volume down. He promptly got the cold shoulder when I told him it was to drown out his keyboard assault. I was delighted with the laughs & giggles from my fellow commuters. Sadly I endure the daily train commute.

Man on my train now is chomping on a ham/cheese baguette. And dusting himself down every bite. Cleaners will be busy later.

@SunCreamQueenie
The cashier could have been autistic. My daughter really struggled on the till when she was working in retail. She finds it difficult to make eye contact too.

That's absolutely awful, especially about the phone usage!

Better than leaving one's shoes on i would have thought