To think people's manners in public are deteriorating

[UmbrellaEllaEllaElla]

Last week til now I've noticed:

• Someone watching porn out loud on the DLR
• People listening to videos and music loudly even on the morning train (it happens on later trains but I've not noticed it before during the morning commute)
• People pushing and not saying sorry. Just simply avoiding eye contact

It's been really unpleasant. Are people boy embarrassed to behave this way?

I'm on the other side of this, and I return the way I'm treated (within reason). Manners work both ways, or they should!

I once had a lady bark her name at me, then when I asked politely, what department & service she wanted she rolled her eyes and snapped which one followed by "Obviously!" I directed her and automatically said thank you as she headed off following the very clear signage and she had a go at me for being sarcastic because apparently I was expecting her to grovel for the information and by me saying thank you I was trying to make a point.

I mean I notice when people use manners now towards me when I'm at work because it's becoming increasingly uncommon, but having a go at me because I have used mine, all be it automatically is very odd behaviour!

Someone watching porn out loud on the DLR

WTF?!

I always say something to people that play music/phone calls on loud speaker. I’m very polite and say something like ‘we can all hear that’ or ‘have you got headphones you can use?’. Said with a big smile, it always disarms people and they comply.

We were in a pub having lunch recently and a couple came in with a toddler and sat next to us. They then set up the toddler with an iPad on loud speaker. ‘Can you turn the volume off please?’ I said with my rictus grin. They did so. Fucking idiots though.

I was always led to believe that you waited for passengers to get off a train before you got on. I'm fed up with being mown down in the crush of bad mannered people barging on while people are trying to get off.
It's not even the London Underground - it's trains in a rural area of Scotland where there are only 2 carriages for a long journey.

I agree, technology and the example of Boris Johnson have contributed.

As for the porn one, you should have intervened or spoken with the DLR train captain.

I’ve stopped going to live comedy/theatre because of the constant talking. I can’t hear anything even through a microphone if there is background noise so just a waste of money.

Standards of behaviour, in public and in general, have declined spectacularly in recent years, maybe due in large part to lazy (non-existent) parenting, internet/SM use, lack of accountability, decline in actual social interaction, and many other reasons.

TKMaxx, just after morning opening. Hurrah, it's empty, I'm first customer in. Grabbed what I wanted and headed for till, one member of staff on duty. On her phone. Arguing loudly about money with whoever she was speaking to. She could see me so I didn't interrupt. She kept on. After a few minutes, she snarled at me "Do you mind? This is a private conversation!" I think she'd forgotten where she was.

Was at an arena musical.

The staff were great at stopping people filming on their phones but one smartarse kept her phone on her knee. And as the place was in darkness it was really intrusive

Then during a famous, really sad song you could have heard a pin drop (other than stifled sobs) and the twat behind me kept rustling in her bag of sweets.

Sandybeaches5 · Today 08:29
I think it's started to become ingrained in some younger people that they don't need to have respect or manners any more.

I find my peers (60) and older far, far ruder than youngsters.

i have often tapped someone on the shoulder on the train and said "sorry, you've forgotten to put your headphones in"

Once when there was a loud argument when the other party was on speakerphone i just shouted that a whole train could hear it and they might want to hang up (they did)

Porn? i would loudly point that out to everyone else in the carriage.

I have grey hair now and i rule the train. It really works. (but you have to not be embarassed at people looking at you)

I always expect please and thank you, I expect doors to be held, by that I mean if you're going through a door just to leave it open for the next person. I don't mean men holding doors for women although both my DS and DH would do that.

Don't get me started on table manners.

I stepped aside in a shop yesterday to let two older ladies come into the aisle. They took their time and I didn’t even get a smile or a thank you. Rude and entitled.

This happens all the time to me. No one smiles, says thank you or sorry anymore.
I blame covid masks (I’m not anti masks) as they stopped that subtle stranger communication

Most people spend too much time on line and then when they go out into the real world forget they are interacting with real people.

'train captain?'

And while I'd love to blame BJ for everything that seems a bit harsh...

I have grey hair now and i rule the train.

@Brefugee is living proof that not all heroes wear capes.

What are you on about? It's basic manners to say please and thank you!

the other week i was on the small local train to work when a school class with 2 stressed teachers got on. It was loud, they were jumping around (1st year of secondary age) and some were putting feet on seats. So i just employed "teacher voice" (reader: i am not a teacher) and told them to have more consideration and to get their feet down. And they did.

I was quite stunned, tbh. It's the menopause i think. You just stop giving a shit.

And me. Costs nothing to apologise. I had to climb over into the driver’s seat a few weeks ago in the Tesco car park. Huge van parked right against my door. Managed to do it by taking my coat off but it was so close that as I reversed out my side bleepers were going off. That close. Utter arsewipe

No, I don't think it's manners, I think its technology.

I'm reasonably sure that had mobile phones been available back in the 50s, then the only difference would be that the music being played would be "My old mans a dustman", and the porn would contain significantly more pubic hair.

People not apologising for bumping into you is down to headphones I reckon. Everyones got earbuds in these days so noone bothers communicating.

I usually say something to people watching/listening to their phones without headphones. I don't always get a good response - one man shrugged like an idiot, another asked me if I'd said 'please' - I told him I had but really shouldn't have to ask in the first place as when did this become acceptable and it's anti-social, what if we all did it. He rolled his eyes but turned it down. I asked a girl on a bus on Saturday could she please put her headphones in and she looked at me stunned but then said she'd stop the video and I said thank you. So, a mixed response. I think it is important to say something otherwise it is going to get worse. If they get asked a couple of times by different people it might make them think twice about doing it. I hate it. I wish stronger measures were taken with signs up saying headphones must be worn at all times. It's ridiculous. What is the thought process of someone playing something without headphones?!

Just to add I had one couple deliberately turn the music on and off constantly when I asked them to put their headphones in (to annoy me further) - both were listening without headphones to their own phones so x 2. The man had his feet up on the seat too. I said he shouldn't do that as people had to sit there. Of course, he said he can't wear headphones as they hurt his ears and he had back problems to had to sit with his feet up. I always ask politely but there is a real bolshy attitude from people a lot of the time. As I got off I called them entitled, selfish arseholes :).

It's funny that people still need to think they need to add a covid disclaimer 3/4 years on.

I think it's really clear how much anti covid measures - whether or not they were proven to be effective - contributed to the decline in manners and public behaviour.

Absolutely. I think kids are completely unused to people expecting manners and consideration, so when it's made clear that actually you do, they are shocked into it.

If people actually confronted the issue rather than being scared to - I'm not talking of confronting actual dangerous behaviour of course - things might not have deteriorated so fast.