To be having second thoughts about DS staying over at grandparents?

82 replies

supertatovsevilpea · 08/10/2024 06:42

Have a funeral this week, and it is not local (some three hours away.)

I have two children who are three (4 in December) and 15 months. Originally my plan was to have DS(3) stay over with PIL overnight while I drive to funeral location with DD(15 months) then come back the following day. But it means DS would be with PIL overnight then all the following day.

It feels like a lot for them both to be honest. I’m wondering if it might be best to bite the bullet and take both kids with me?

OP posts:

Original poster

supertatovsevilpea · 08/10/2024 21:39

Well, he’s going tomorrow so I’m packing enough for a weeks residential for him

I will update! I am a bit worried for PIL!

OP posts:

Noseybookworm · 08/10/2024 22:58

Do you have to go to the funeral? With 2 very young children, I'd probably stay home, send my apologies and flowers! But I hate funerals anyway so I'd be glad of an excuse not to go!

loveyouradvice · 08/10/2024 23:04

T V and Smarties go a long way.... Eating Weetabix in bed with Granny and watching Disney Robin Hood together remains one of my daughter's favourite memories and they started young.... She came home exclaiming, Mum I didn't know you could have Weetabix for supper!!

sesquipedalian · 08/10/2024 23:19

Could you consider/afford renting an air BnB for you and the PIL in the funeral town? That way, you wouldn’t be worried and PIL would not be left alone overnight with DGC.

Original poster

supertatovsevilpea · 09/10/2024 01:34

sesquipedalian · 08/10/2024 23:19

Could you consider/afford renting an air BnB for you and the PIL in the funeral town? That way, you wouldn’t be worried and PIL would not be left alone overnight with DGC.

There’s no way they’d do that. Besides it wouldn’t work on a practical level.

OP posts:

AnotherThingToThinkAbout · 09/10/2024 14:55

supertatovsevilpea · 08/10/2024 07:22

It’s very well and good saying that @MenorcaMarguerite if you have it as an available option. We don’t. We’ve only got the one set and they aren’t local and it will be a lot for them. I don’t doubt it will be fine but it is a lot and I wouldn’t ask them if I had a viable alternative.

I very carefully said if there is an available option. I recognise that it might not be suitable for everyone. And I followed up with a different suggestion if it is not.

MrsSunshine2b · 09/10/2024 17:36

PullTheBricksDown · 08/10/2024 07:21

How are you managing the 15 mo actually at the funeral? It's about the worst age for them for it - and I had a funeral to attend with one that age which is why I say.

Is DH not coming to the funeral? Can he have one or both?

I suppose it depends on who's funeral it is. The last funeral I was at it would have been entirely inappropriate to bring a young child; the deceased's own preschool children did not attend and the widow needed my full attention due to how tragic the circumstances were and how close she is to me.

Maybe someone who died peacefully of old age after a great life, which feels more like a celebration tinged with sadness, would be OK to have a fidgety child with you, but I don't think they'd have much fun even then.

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