Was I rude?

[OlyaR]

Tell me your opinion, today I was called rude which made me really upset, I'm not British so maybe I miss the point of etiquette or local culture so fill me in please.

So today I was pushing a buggy with my baby and the pavement was too narrow for me and the woman in her 50 or so to go past each other.I continued my walk, didn't mean to stop because you can easily make one step left to the road which is always empty and overtake if you're in such a hurry. ( this is a side residential street) So I suppose that the woman wanted me to stop and wait till she go first because when I was near her she said 'Thank you, rude girl' I was shocked , never heard such comments, have I done something wrong?

Fairly rude, yes.

I wouldn't have commented, but it sounds like you kept pushing your pram at her, forcing her into the road. The polite (British) thing to do was probably to stand still for a moment with your pushchair as close to the inside of the pavement as possible, to allow someone to squeeze past without forcing them into the road.

No I wouldn't have said so. I usually always give way to prams when walking on my own or with the dog, just to make life a bit easier, and I've taught my kids to do the same if it's safe to do so. I'd have said she should have easily stepped aside so she's the rude one. Unless you were staring at your phone and ramming her with your pram, you're fine

Ah, the passive aggressive 'thank you'. Don't worry about it. She could have quite easily stopped her end to let you through. I always tend to stop for a buggy.

She was very rude to call you 'girl' and say a sarcastic thank you. Think no more of it. We all meet these types of self righteous people.

You're not rude at all. She must have been having a bad day! Don't take it personally 🙂

What relevance is her (approximate) age?

I think the woman was walking behind OP, not towards her.

I don't think you were rude at all OP, some people are just a bit grumpy, wouldn't stress it.

I think the more encumbered one has more right of way, she was rude

Depends who reached the narrow bit first. If it was you, you had right of way, and vice versa. But assuming someone will walk in the road is rude. Always assume they want to walk on the pavement. Otherwise you're barging into them forcing them on the road.

However, I always give prams extra space/go first only cos I know how hard they are to push! Not everyone knows this or was taught this. I only realised from experience.

I always make way for prams but I suppose in this situation the polite thing would be for one of you to make way for the other and it sounds like neither did, so this woman is just as rude.

Rude to just keep going as if she wasn’t there. At least stop the buggy. One of you is going to have to leave the pavement, and it’s easier for her to than you, but at least acknowledge it.

Were you both going in the same direction, or coming towards each other?

The best way would be to stop, make eye contact, then see if the other person will allow you to go first (since you have the buggy).

So you kept going and she had to step into the road?

Yes- thats rude.

I think the problem was that you behaved as though she didn’t exist. But we have all probably done something like this at one time or another, without meaning to give offence. It’s just a bit inconsiderate.

I'd think you were rude for assuming that I was able to step off the pavement onto the road. I'm physically disabled, don't always need a walking stick, but unless it's a drop curb, I struggle with stepping off a lot of pavements.

You should have pulled over as far as you could in an attempt to let her pass around you.

Yeah - I think if you were expecting her to step in the road YABU unfortunately. People with prams do not automatically get right of way.

However, as a parent myself, I probably would've assumed you're going through the trenches and in a sleep deprived bubble so didn't realise, and not said anything.

I tend to stop regardless of who might need to pass. That's just my nature. But I don't believe that you were the rude one here OP. She was the rude one with her sarcastic response to you. Totally unnecessary. Don't give it another thought.

Traditionally, British people would both have stopped, made eye contact, a couple of gestures to make it look like you’re getting out of the other person’s way, you’d perform a bit of a dance from side to side and then the person without the push chair would get in the road, you’d smile a thank you and you’d both go about your day, quite happily.

I think that if you didn’t slow down, or make eye contact, then it would have given her the impression that she had no choice but to step in the road to avoid you and that would have been perceived as rude.

She didn't expect you to stop and let her go first.

But she DID expect you to acknowledge that she had stopped so that you could go. You should recognise when someone has done this, make eye contact and say thanks. So when you don't do this it makes the other person feel annoyed and they will say a sarcastic thanks to you instead.

Rude to decide she has to be the one to move then plough on as if she isn't there, yes.

I mentioned it because I thought that maybe she expected me to stop and let her priority because she's much older than me.

The polite British thing to do would have been for both of you to stop then engage in saying 'after you', 'no after you' several times. Then you both set off at the same time and end up doing a weird little dancing thing for a second. You both stop again, say sorry and laugh in an embarrassed way.

Hopefully at this point one of you takes the initiative to step in the road and go around or it could go on forever. At which point you both say thank you, profusely, and go on your way.

Hope that clears things up.

I am in my 50s and always give priority to someone with a buggy / pram, they have their hands full. Maybe next time just slow down a bit. Otherwise I would forget about it, she was probably just having a bad day.

Nah you had a buggy and she was walking so she should've given you the pavement. Likewise you should've let anyone with a wheelchair, stick etc by or anyone elderly.

You're grand.

I think regardless of culture, if you can tell that continuing pushing a buggy towards someone on a narrow pavement on the assumption they can walk in the road is rude, yes.

It would be a more normal reaction to at least acknowledge that you both needed to get past, or to have stopped momentarily so she had time to check the road was clear than to keep pushing your buggy at her so she had no options.

Her age is irrelevant, she also shouldn’t have called you ‘girl’ that’s very patronising.

Her age is absolutely irrelevant. You were a bit rude but she was rude back.