Was I rude?

[OlyaR]

Tell me your opinion, today I was called rude which made me really upset, I'm not British so maybe I miss the point of etiquette or local culture so fill me in please.

So today I was pushing a buggy with my baby and the pavement was too narrow for me and the woman in her 50 or so to go past each other.I continued my walk, didn't mean to stop because you can easily make one step left to the road which is always empty and overtake if you're in such a hurry. ( this is a side residential street) So I suppose that the woman wanted me to stop and wait till she go first because when I was near her she said 'Thank you, rude girl' I was shocked , never heard such comments, have I done something wrong?

They were going towards each other

I can't see anywhere where you acknowledged her existence so yes that was rude

i suspect this cat will be better off out of the home of this OP (and the child who’s suddenly popped up with a serious allergy)

God, l hate the passive aggressive “thanks” as well. If you have a proper issue with me then just say it. I approach these gaps like you do in a car with who has right of way and continue if you’ve started

Where l live the pavements are manly lovely and wide. Plenty of space for a pram to go one way and a person the other. Problem is a certain number of people think you should say thanks for them stopping walking down the middle of the pavement. It’s just common sense to move over. So l won’t thank them and they may well get a rude reply. It’s normally a certain sub set of people who do it. They never do it to my husband 🙄

I thanked her for letting me past, and to make it clear she didn't step to the road, she was on the pavement, I think there was not much room for moving but it was ok to wait till the pedestrian goes by

Yes but these split second decisions can only be made based on the visible. Likewise the woman had no idea whether OP would be able to manoeuvre the buggy to let her by.

This is the sort of thing that was only going to cost either of them seconds, very different to something like the blue badge parking/bus/accessible loo threads.

wrong thread!

I know which thread you meant as I’m on it too but I had to double check I was on the right one 😸

If I understand correctly, you didn’t thank her for moving out of your way into the road? I would move into the road for someone with a pram but I’d be annoyed not to be thanked or even acknowledged. That is rude.

If I was having a bad day, I’d say a sarcastic thank you (definitely not call you a rude girl though) as people with poor manners get my back up.

ETA I’ve seen your update that you did thank her. I’m really very confused by what happened where and when now tbh! But if you thanked her, then you weren’t rude. 😀

So unless you look like you would struggle to step into the road you have to just step in the road?! You have no idea how much pain it might cause someone you can't just assume they will be able to do it easily.

Yes rude, stop move yr buggy to the edge do the person can squeeze past.

Yes you were rude.

And you're very easily shocked 🤣

Did you thank her for letting you go first?

It sounds to me like she stopped for you and you didn’t thank her for doing so, hence - ‘thank you? Rude girl.’ That’s just how I’m reading it 🤷🏼‍♀️

It is annoying when you hold a door for someone or wait for them to walk past and they don’t just say thanks, but I wouldn’t say anything. I’d just think twat in my head.

No, SHE was rude.

I have always understood it to be good manners to give way to wheelchairs, elderly, and prams whilst in public.

She was a grumpy entitled cow :)

You mean people should have to be considerate towards a parent and their child by giving way to a pram on the pavement? 🙊 Some people would struggle to come to terms with that because entitled parents innit?

Would you have mown her down if she didn’t move?

No, OP replied to me that they were coming towards each other. So it was that OP was coming towards her and the woman had to step into the road out of the way. Which of course she'd have had to anyway - but an acknowledgement and thank you would have been polite.

No. If you can't step nto the road, surely you stand your ground and say that?
If we all assumed everyone else had an invisible disability we'd all be waiting for each other and no-one would get anywhere.

But it's also good manners to acknowledge that someone is giving way. To just plough on making it clear you're not going to stop is rude because either a) you are demanding that they do something or b) you are pretending they are not there, that they do not have a valid existence.

Most of manners/ politeness is about saying "you are just as important as I am".

Agreed - I thought the woman overtook her and both going same way, but not the case.
If other woman had to step out thanks would have been good from OP.

I think the thing to take away from it is that what you did was perceived as rude, even though you had no intention of being rude. So she didn’t feel that her comment was unfair and she probably didn’t care that you found it rude, because she thought you’d been rude first. And if you do it again to someone else, they will probably think you are rude as well.

So you can either ignore the vast majority of people on the thread, keep doing it and keep being shocked that people are making rude comments to you, or you can accept that it’s perceived as rudeness, even if it doesn’t seem rude to you, so not do it again and instead exchange smiles and a ‘good morning’ with people you encounter. Do you want people to call you rude names? Or do you want them to be nice to you?

OP's first account makes no mention of her thanking the woman, just that "I wasn't going to stop" and carried on walking forward and the woman had to step to one side and wait on the pavement, then made her "rude girl" comment presumably as OP had not acknowledged her at all, despite causing her to wait.

Majority of posters then said OP was rude to some degree. OP conceded in a later post that she could/should have made eye contact. Later still OP claims that she did in fact thank the woman. Sorry OP, I don't believe you! Why did you add that bit in so late? And it would make no sense for her to call you rude girl if you had said thank you?

I suggest if you are so sensitive about people thinking you are rude, that you try behaving less ... rudely?

Are you Eastern European by any chance, OP? I know it's a different culture where a lot of please/thank you/would you mind/you're welcome is seen as pointless and affected. But it's different in the UK (though we have some rude people here too). You gotta play the game!

So you effectively forced her to step into the road to avoid being hit by your buggy.

Yes rude and very entitled.

If you thanked her she's very rude. Some people are.