Christmas childcare!

[Christmaschildcare]

Before I had children, I thought parents wanted Christmas off because of the ‘magic’ of Christmas with children. I’m sure some do but I now realise it’s mostly because THERE’S NO FLIPPING CHILDCARE OPTIONS AVAILABLE

I have three children under six. Their school is (naturally) closed, their nursery is closed. There are no holiday clubs in our area open whatsoever. We have no one to ask - everyone either works or is in same boat as us so cannot look after THREE CHILDREN for us.

We need to find cover for two weeks. My dh can take a week, and I can take a week, so we’re lucky that we can plan to share.

but even that has been an issue for both employees. We’ve both been told we ‘need to do our part’ and ‘can’t expect to be off just because you’ve got kids’ and ‘well it needs to be fair to everyone’ etc etc.

while I agree with this in theory - in practice, what on Earth am I supposed to do for childcare? If my employer says I can’t take the week off - well, unfortunately, I will be, as I can’t leave three children at home. I’m not being difficult, I genuinely have nowhere and no one to send them to. I wish I did.

is there some magical Christmas childcare solution I’m missing? Please enlighten me 😩

'what ‘trusted childcare contacts’ could one ‘build up through the year’ in an area such as mine where options are so limited?'

You don't have any childminders anywhere at all? No friends or family at all? That must be very hard if all you have is one 9 til 5 nursery in the area.

I'd advise anyone against using parental leave over Christmas isn't it more to cover sickness etc?

@Christmaschildcare I'd ask the staff at your child's current nursery if any of them will do any babysitting for some extra money over some of the days?

Do you not get that networks don't look like normal over Christmas though? People travel.

As an example, one of my school mum pals is a single parent who isn't from the UK and whose ex is useless. I've done her the odd childcare favour on inset days and childminder let downs, also she's done stuff for me too so it's definitely not all one way. She works in a place that closes over Christmas, so this is hypothetical. But if it decided to change that policy, I as her main shit I'm really stuck friend am not an option in the same way I would be on an ordinary week, because we go to see family for a lot of the holiday. Then if you think how many people are away from home at some point over the fortnight, on a population level that'll make a real difference.

Obviously the first thing is for parents to be prepared to have their time off separately. That helps.

I agree that if there is no childcare there’s no childcare. But equally fairness is important - child free colleagues do have as much right to that time off as you.

Perhaps the solution is unpaid parental leave as a pp suggests? Then the employee has to look at it in a different way, as they outlined. And it means you’re not having something that your colleagues also wanted, ie annual leave.

'Do you not get that networks don't look like normal over Christmas though? People travel.'

I do yes. We just used to swap favours with other people in the same boat

I can see that works for you, but it wouldn’t work for someone without kids who wants to travel to family for Christmas - not unless everyone in their family is also able to reschedule it.

You are the gift that keeps on giving 🥹

I agree.

I also think the post you are replying to is incredibly smug. It’s not always possible for everyone to build up a wide network of reliable childcare options. And paid childcare options like an emergency nanny might well not work over Christmas- why would you when you have the flexibility of self employment?

People without children should have equal opportunity to have time off, people with children who have literally zero childcare are going to have to take time off; the employer should sort it. We know they don't, but I agree that it's not fair on others to always have to cover or for there to be priority for people with children, but it's also impossible to work if you have zero people or places to provide childcare!

@Christmaschildcare you’re going to have to leave the dc in the jungle for 2 weeks to be cared for by friendly wolves, panthers and bears.
Just tell them not to go near the tigers, snakes or the monkeys.

You may have to reconsider your careers. You shouldn't but the world is shit

Oh gosh I hope their listening skills improve between now and then 🥴

Ok, this is getting more convoluted then. You should have a network, and that network will have someone available in it because it just will, and when it doesn't there are still bound to be people who want to swap childcare favours with you and will conveniently be working the days you aren't and vice versa.

I'm not speaking for myself here, because I have loads of family, but it's not difficult to ascertain that some people's lives look different to yours.

Have you tried advertising at your local college? There is perhaps a student in a childcare course who would welcome some extra money in the holidays.

I’m still not clear what days you need childcare for? If you’re both in Monday-Friday 9-5 type jobs then there’s only 27th, 30th and 31st that are going to be a problem. If your jobs involve shift work then surely you can work opposite each other.

Have you asked the nursery staff if they can help if nursery is closed? I used to do lots of babysitting over the Christmas period for this exact reason!

Might also be helpful to put a general area!

I feel your pain. Not sure where you live but you would have holiday clubs; at least in our area there would be some options except for 24-27th (when most businesses and public sector stop working anyway). Plus, sitters.co.uk would usually work for any day as not all babysitters celebrate Christmas (and even those who celebrate do not mind earning extra).

DD is working this Christmas day and her husband may have to too. They live in a different town and only have a tiny flat so if they're both working Christmas day we'll have to take DGS and he won't see his parents on Christmas day which is so sad for a young child.

I realise not ever parent has this choice but it's not ideal.

The dates can be changed by the employer:-

When an employer can change parental leave dates. Employers cannot refuse or completely cancel parental leave.

They can postpone it if it's going to cause problems at work, for example if there's an important deadline.

They can postpone it for up to 6 months after the date the employee originally asked for. The employee must be able to take it before their child's 18th birthday.

If the employer needs to postpone parental leave, they must write to the employee within 7 days of their request to:

• explain why the leave needs to be postponed
• give other suitable dates

I absolutely understand people have different sets of circumstances but one thing we all have in common is having to organise and have contingency plans.

Fine rely on a 9 til 5 nursery if you prefer but it really shouldn't be a surprise to find out at Christmas other plans will be needed.

So again, we build up relationships throughout the year with friends, family and other childcare providers to give us more options.

Most colleagues would be incredibly unimpressed if anyone used parental leave for Christmas childcare!

If you use a nursery op then why don't you ask if any of the nursery staff would like to earn some extra and work the Christmas for you. They may not, but I know I certainly used this option some years when mine was little.

I'm with @piccolorhinoceros on this.
Your kids, your problem.
Taking sick leave because you can't find childcare is an insult to everyone else.

Parental leave. Our school does not run holiday clubs and our childminder is on annual leave for 2 weeks over Xmas every year. Can’t begrudge her it, she works the other 50 . It sucks, but unless your employer is going to run a crèche over Xmas. I can’t see that you have a choice.

It shouldn't be a surprise to you that not everyone can simply assume they'll have someone available to watch any DC they have on all days over Christmas that they might need childcare. It was not a sensible comment.

I've worked many Christmas days and you either 'do' Christmas on Christmas eve or Boxing day or Christmas day evening. Kids are very flexible and happy as long as surrounded by lots of food and presents. None of ours seem scarred by having Christmas day on Boxing day occasionally .