Christmas childcare!

[Christmaschildcare]

Before I had children, I thought parents wanted Christmas off because of the ‘magic’ of Christmas with children. I’m sure some do but I now realise it’s mostly because THERE’S NO FLIPPING CHILDCARE OPTIONS AVAILABLE

I have three children under six. Their school is (naturally) closed, their nursery is closed. There are no holiday clubs in our area open whatsoever. We have no one to ask - everyone either works or is in same boat as us so cannot look after THREE CHILDREN for us.

We need to find cover for two weeks. My dh can take a week, and I can take a week, so we’re lucky that we can plan to share.

but even that has been an issue for both employees. We’ve both been told we ‘need to do our part’ and ‘can’t expect to be off just because you’ve got kids’ and ‘well it needs to be fair to everyone’ etc etc.

while I agree with this in theory - in practice, what on Earth am I supposed to do for childcare? If my employer says I can’t take the week off - well, unfortunately, I will be, as I can’t leave three children at home. I’m not being difficult, I genuinely have nowhere and no one to send them to. I wish I did.

is there some magical Christmas childcare solution I’m missing? Please enlighten me 😩

Not sure where you're inventing disproportionate anger from. There wasn't so much as an exclamation mark or a swear word in the post you quoted.

I actually completely get what you mean, OP. Like, you're not going to leave 3 small children home alone are you, because that's fucking mental, dangerous, and neglectful. So ultimately if your employer says no you can't have leave, what can you do? You'll be off regardless 🤷‍♀️

I'm assuming this is NHS or similar. You need to explain it to senior managers and one of you will get the time off. I've never known a situation where both parents have been refused leave in this situation! If you are both that crucial, raise it at Director level if it's not resolved.

Omg I actually love you. Thank you so much for inputting to this thread, it’s actually brought some much needed comic relief 🤣

I’m not arguing with anyone.

there are some posters who are saying ‘well it’s tough, if you can’t have the time off, you can’t have the time off’. In that scenario, the children would actually be left at home on their own. Which is patently ridiculous and will never happen.

Ok. 🥴

Sympathies @Christmaschildcare its a nightmare. I have found somewhere running working days 23/12-3/1 but it’s £65 a day! I can afford it but others couldn’t.

DS is 7 and would now cope with the odd day with me WFH and him watching tv.

Another option we have used is the local camps for children on free school meals sometimes offer places to paid for children, so in our local leisure centre there’s a sports camp on a couple of days 10-2pm which is better than nothing and I put a film on the tv for the afternoon. This only works if you can WFH though.

What you need is two other families in the same boat then you make a rota

I've read it.

Where is your network, surely all your family and friends aren't working 24/7 for 2 weeks solidly? Why haven't you built up trusted childcare contacts throughout the year for situations like Christmas where nurseries are understandably closed?

I have sympathy for single parents who obviously have more to juggle but tbh I'm not sure why you're surprised that childcare is limited at Christmas.

YANBU.

I work in a year round industry. Pre kids, I worked Christmas in exchange for new year (it's not like there was a lot happening, so it was a nice quiet day, and everyone was grateful I did it - I worked Saturday/Sunday for the same reasons, and had my days off mid-week)

Now I have kids, if my ex took them for Christmas I'd still be fine working, as it'd keep my mind off the kids not being around, and would mean I could have my Christmas with the kids on another day off.

I know it should 'be fair' but we also need to be accommodating - and I wonder if people have even actually been asked - I found that I could always find someone to work Christmas (or weekends) when I explained the advantages.

Not everyone has a network. Sigh.. Despite the claims of smug MNers, they are not that easy to build up, and no, not everyone plans 18 years of childcare when they have a child.

Okay. I think nearly everybody would sympathise if it was a "doesn't this suck?" thread, but it seems like the constant underlying suggestion is that the problem is childfree people expecting fairness in the holidays. Hence your post setting up the problem of fairness vs safety for your children.

What are the advantages?

This is why I’m so glad we went with a childminder rather than a nursery! I was worried about potential sick days as she’s not got any assistant etc, but she’s only been off once or twice in 3 years. And open over Xmas holidays up to Xmas eve and in between if we needed. Obvs not bank hols. Is it worth asking local childminders in case they have someone going away and space to fill?

I shouldn’t really feel the need to explain, but hey ho- My network is, as I previously said, either working or unable to have three small children for large blocks of time, which is completely understandable. It isn’t beyond your comprehension that such a situation could exist, surely? We are by no means a rarity, this thread alone (as well as common sense….) should demonstrate that

what ‘trusted childcare contacts’ could one ‘build up through the year’ in an area such as mine where options are so limited?

also, I’m not surprised childcare options are limited, that’s not the point of this thread. Sigh.

My thoughts too. From a poster who called OP "the worst type of parent/person", no less. You can drip with venom without an exclamation mark.

!

Perhaps some of the parents on here shouldnt have cheered on the state pension age going up Because of this grandparents are having to work over Christmas too if their jobs require it.

And yet we have loads of posts on here asking where family members are. Talk about cognitive dissonance

That’s not my underlying suggestion whatsoever.

What are the advantages?

Quiet day at work when I can get on with stuff without everyone asking me questions.

Then at home, if I pre-christmas then I can do it on a day when the shops are open and just buy what I need then and there with no planning, if I post-christmas then I can avail myself of cheap stuff in the sales.

It's just a day, which day I actually celebrate doesn't matter (I'm not religious, I'm not missing church - I'm just giving presents to the kids and having a good dinner - I can declare any day 'Christmas' and do it all then)

Does your local authority not have a list of childminders? You might need to switch out of nursery to them as they require a set number of hours but honestly it’s worth it.

Exactly. If the OP was regarding the lack of support for working parents, or how difficult it is to have children in today's society when both parents need to work, I think there would be a lot more agreement. But her tone is 'well I'll be taking the day off and other blessing-free people can just cover me regardless, as my little family are more important than anything or anyone else'. That's why she's rubbing people up the wrong way.

I don't know where you live obviously but is it worth standing outside the school gate one day and setting up a WhatsApp group with the other parents and then setting up a group of working parents?

I should mention, I've spent my adult life in a few countries either with significant muslim populations, or who celebrated Christmas on a different day, so I've come to realise that it really doesn't matter what the actual day is for a quiet family Christmas.

Infuckingdeed!!!!!!!!

Then I'm not sure why you keep bringing up the issue of fairness between parents and childfree people, from the opening posts onwards, but okay. I hope you find a solution.