Christmas childcare!

[Christmaschildcare]

Before I had children, I thought parents wanted Christmas off because of the ‘magic’ of Christmas with children. I’m sure some do but I now realise it’s mostly because THERE’S NO FLIPPING CHILDCARE OPTIONS AVAILABLE

I have three children under six. Their school is (naturally) closed, their nursery is closed. There are no holiday clubs in our area open whatsoever. We have no one to ask - everyone either works or is in same boat as us so cannot look after THREE CHILDREN for us.

We need to find cover for two weeks. My dh can take a week, and I can take a week, so we’re lucky that we can plan to share.

but even that has been an issue for both employees. We’ve both been told we ‘need to do our part’ and ‘can’t expect to be off just because you’ve got kids’ and ‘well it needs to be fair to everyone’ etc etc.

while I agree with this in theory - in practice, what on Earth am I supposed to do for childcare? If my employer says I can’t take the week off - well, unfortunately, I will be, as I can’t leave three children at home. I’m not being difficult, I genuinely have nowhere and no one to send them to. I wish I did.

is there some magical Christmas childcare solution I’m missing? Please enlighten me 😩

What jobs do you do? DH isn’t guaranteed the time off in his sector, there’s a ballot. But in mine we close for almost all of the school
holidays (it’s additional to annual leave) and there’s no issue with me taking the extra 3 days I need off. So whilst we will share it if he gets the days, if he doesn’t it’s fine and he is WFH full time anyway.

But we did research this before having DD!

Our nursery was only shut for 1 week which was ok anyway. But most people I know who have difficult jobs for taking time off have family help and/or a nanny.

Would you consider sixth form/ university students? They might be willing to cover the odd day here and there for you.

It depends on what the rationale is. If it is impossible due to staffing then that won't change, if the concern is just that it looks unfair for OP to have time off at Christmas again then it being unpaid may actually help in her employer's eyes.

theres no magic solution to this OP. All options are a bit rubbish, here’s some.

childminder - they will normally prioritise normal clients, so if you use a nursery and school based wrap around care normally, you might want to think about moving to a childminder for at least a couple of days, so you are one of the priority families.

the lower paid of you goes part time - if they work 3 days a week it’s easier for the higher paid to cover a week of your job as it’s not a full week off for them.

you hire a nanny - if you have more than one in nursery this might not cost you that much more than you are already paying.

The lower paid one looks for a job in a school /uni that’s term time only. (Or very little school holiday work.)

you look for a new job starting in January and resign finishing mid December. This is a one year only solution!

you ask family /friends.

You had three children and didn't research this or consider it in advance? Yes, YABU.

Good for your employer. So many workplaces prioritise leave for parents, so it's nice to hear they're committed to making it fair.

Yes Christmas can be tricky to cover with clubs. I'm 4 days per week and try to save some annual leave to help me get through as have very little family support. Luckily my employer is flexible.
I think your best option would be to advertising for a temporary, competent uni student to do childcare over the holidays. Pop in local shops, groups etc. Plenty of time to hire someone and see if they're someone the family can work with.
I do feel your pain though!

Don’t choose a nursery that’s term time only/has a xmas long break. Arrange ‘swaps’ with friends for the older ones as if there are no clubs then there will be loads of other families in the same boat. Or at least that’s how we handled it!

Oh and another one! A temporary nanny just for the Christmas holidays. It won’t be cheap. Contact nanny agencies.

We've just been told our nursery is also closing over Christmas and New Year where it was previously open but luckily it doesn't matter for us but I imagine for families like yours it does. Apparently it isn't used enough during those 2 weeks to warrant staying open but there is no change in fees so we still need to pay for those 2 weeks.

Have you any friends to ask or friends with older children? My daughter is 16 and loves babysitting but due to family dynamics is more that capable of looking after 3 but I understand many wouldn't be. Sorry I am not more helpful. Childcare at Christmas is difficult.

Where on earth do you work? My work is shut 22 December through to 6 January!

This is silly. Yes it's harder with 3 kids but honestly I didn't know there was a lack of Xmas childcare options either. You cant research every possibility before having kids. She had pregnancies not a crystal ball.

I think surely another part of it is that you want time off both together, so you actually get to spend the Christmas period as a family. I would be looking to move jobs to be honest, there are masses of family friendly roles out there - I can’t think of any friends of mine who work for the 2 weeks over Xmas and NY.

Ahh bless you. I don’t believe my post outlined the research and consideration that went into account prior to having our three blessings, but good for you for thinking you have enough information to correctly ascertain the situation 😘 I too applaud employer’s efforts to be fair and inclusive. They are important aspects of life and society to me. Unfortunately so are my children, so I will be having the time off, but do take care!

I didn’t vote YABU because there’s an obvious solution you’re missing, I voted it because I’m sick of having to work every single Christmas because my colleagues have kids and I don’t. Whether it’s for the magic or out of necessity, I don’t really care, if you’re unwilling to ever take turns then I find it selfish to be honest.

I wish I lived near you. My grandkds don't need me now and I love children.
Or the lady, temp nanny?

And yet, here I am with no children and fully aware of the challenges of childcare? In fact, it's a large part of the reason I don't have children.

@itwasnevermine Clearly one of the many places that isn't your work? Retail, healthcare, hospitality to name a few obvious options, but plenty of office jobs require staffing over Christmas too.

We need to find cover for two weeks. My dh can take a week, and I can take a week, so we’re lucky that we can plan to share

So if you're taking a week and your DH is taking a week isn't it sorted?

Or do you need to cover 4 weeks?

Thanks to those with suggestions. I had thought parental leave would be declined for the reasons some pp outlined but it’s definitely worth a try, thank you.

our careers have taken decades to achieve and it is insane to consider leaving our professions for the sake of a week at Christmas, especially as this is only an issue while we have young children.

solidarity to those of you who struggle too!

Sorry if this has already been mentioned OP but what about a Uni student home for the holidays?
They might be very up for earning a bit of extra money in return for childcare.

But if we all stopped having kids there would be even less Christmas childcare!

It seems like I'm more capable of assessing information than you to be fair, so your attempts to patronise are laughable. You seem like the worst type of parent (/person), so entitled just because you had a child, I mean 'blessing' 🙄

There are really no nurseries open all year round in your area? I find that hard to believe. What on earth do people do with their kids all summer?

As you are doing, you'll have to find the childcare you can, and split the rest with your husband, or perhaps grandparents.

🙄😂

@netflixfan your message made me smile. Thank you ❤️