How much do you need to earn for 3 kids?

[Allthegoodnamesaregonegone]

When you don’t live in London and have very average expenses?

for arguments sake, I googled and saw the average mortgage is £1400
average heating for 4/5 people is £200 a month (British Gas website)

assume no ‘bad debts’ and no private school

id love another kid, if possible, but I do see on here often on the cost of a third and that being a large factor, so I’d like to understand what is the amount people think you need to earn pre tax to live comfortably with 3.

that is astonishing

we will indeed

oh so not £28k at all
much more

you are entitled to CB? neither of you earn over £50k?

apologies if missed clarification up thread

sorry i don’t know my arse from my elbow when it comes to cb

Erm no… you are entitled to cb if you earn under 80k

neither of us earn above 70k

Is there is a reason you’re being antagonistic and goady?

I haven't read all the posts, but since we are thinking about a third fairly soon: our total income is about £150k. But we have quite a big discrepancy of incomes, so mine is capped to 100k to be eligible for subsidised childcare hours and tax rebate. The rest go into pension so not lost, but it's not accessible.

With two under 3, we are paycheck to paycheck at the moment. We still want a 3rd, but will wait until our eldest is at school and our youngest gets 30h subsidised childcare.

We have a regular 3 bed semi in a commuter town (both work in London). We don't do expensive holidays or anything (1k a year or so).
Day to day, we probably have a lifestyle slightly above our means as we still haven't fully adjusted yet, but nothing extravagant either - we just shop at Waitrose (which happens to be our local shop).

The 2 things to think about when planning , as it really made it difficult for us are:

1. inflation. I remember talking about it with my husband a couple of years ago, we saw it coming but never thought it would really affect us. But our mortgage, nursery, food and energy bills have increased by about 15-20% each, that's hundreds of pounds we didn't account for when planning for our second child.

2. debts. Not "bad" debts, but things we put on interest free loans or credit cards when we bought the house, like minor work on the house and decorating that was needed before we moved in. Probably due to the above, we massively overestimated our saving and reimbursement capacity.

The discrepancy in earnings is also a bummer. If you can avoid that and both progress at the same time to increase your earning potential, you will get much more disposable income with the current tax rules.

apologies

tbf to me! Prior to a few months ago the cut off was £60k and zeroised

Are you going for the third op? because if you’re not planning private and have £2.5-3k family holidays and both in secure jobs with not eye watering childcare… and most importantly you and your dh want a third…. seems completely reasonable to go for it!

Yes and that was changed from April 2024, we had 2 years out of claiming due to this, so can now claim again

3 kids here, mortgage of £1500, live in south east.

Our household income is £100k (one earns significantly more than the other) and we have minimal childcare costs because we've used term time preschool instead of nursery.

We have plenty to cover all bills and pay for 3x clubs per week and a cheapish holiday each year. I also save money most months.

BUT we have no debts/loans to pay off and don't do fancy cars/flash clothes etc.

I'm a single parent of 3 and earn £80k - mortgage about to go up to £1400 and childcare costs of £1200 a month - old car which is paid off. Don't have a lot spare at the end of the month by the time kids activities are paid for or long list of house repairs and certainly can't afford holidays but I do ok

It all depends what type of lifestyle you wish to live.
Some are happy with own brand beans, others like to drive a Ferrari…
But, just keep in mind, apart from nursery/childcare they get more expensive with each year. Can you help with uni, driving lessons, house deposits etc. the expense doesn’t stop when they are 18. Life is very hard for a twenty something with no family help behind them.

we will have a lump sum, performance dependent it should be around the £20k mark.

we can pay for some driving lessons, in lieu of a birthday present and a car, not an expensive car but a car, I do think though that they should get a job to fund the lessons and their re insurance the following year.

im iffy on paying for deposits, think there’s a bit of a risk there in the event they buy with a partner and split. I didn’t get given a deposit for a house, so I don’t think it’s necessary that parents give a house deposit. I did a gift of some money for integrated appliances which I was very grateful for. But the kids will have that lump sum, if they want to do uni away, then it can fund that, if they want to stay at home then they’ll have it for another later date

Contributing to uni and house deposits is a luxury when matter of choice rather than a must do - I won't be able to do either of those things as I have 3 children would would be at uni at the same time (set of twins in the mix)

My parents didn't contribute to uni or a house deposit

I can however offer for them to live with me past the age I left home (18) to be able to work and make those savings themselves

It’s really hard to quantify. I have four youngest were twins so was aiming for 3 (multiples always a risk also chance of a disabled child which you have to consider and the impact on future earning capability). Your take home can vary from gross. I work for LA so pension contributions are high at 10% and then student loan. I take home around £2.2k a month get a couple of hundred UC plus child benefit, mortgage £600. Old house bills are higher than average, council tax is expensive. Share custody with ex so he feeds and clothes on his days. Pays half of school residentials. I would say I am ok financially day to day but no spare cash. Bills are paid, decent food on table, kids do low cost extracurriculars. Cinema once in a blue moon on a cheap day, don’t eat out or do expensive day trips, no chance of a holiday, clothes off vinted. Finding cash for car repairs/ mot house repairs / house maintenance always wipes me out so I never quite manage to build up savings.

Luckily I live somewhere pretty so we do lots of outdoor stuff. Yesterday we went for a lovely long walk with the dog through the woods by the river. I brought snacks so essentially free but it was a lovely afternoon. I think there’s a lot to be said about your viewpoint on life. I know lots of people who live for their holidays, want new cars etc and I’d need a much higher salary for that.

To answer your question my mortgage is cheap so possibly about £3k take home minimum assuming energy efficient house and the other parent shouldering some of the costs of child.

i also don’t think it does kids any favours to have everything handed to them without having to put the ground work in

Working it out pre tax isn’t helpful as the tax element can vary massively depending on how the income is split between the 2 parents! For example 2 parents earning 50k each will bring home more than 1 parent earning 100k! Better to start with post tax income.

Also it really a question of lifestyle rather than number of kids. If you want to workout what you need you’ve had 2 kids previously so you know how much things cost and what type of lifestyle you aspire to have! Do a full budget which looks at costs of daily living and long term savings goals and see if you having another child is the right thing for you.

As a parent you are expected to contribute to your child at university. Things have really changed since we were at that stage. House prices are so high for them now. Sitting back and saying “well I did it all myself” doesn’t really cut it - it’s not 1996 any more. Dh and I got a cute maisonette in a cool part of
london as our step on the ladder without batting an eyelid. Our equivalents now would NEVER be able to do that without family support.

Also as parents far more is expected of you emotionally and financially as they get older. This coincides with you wanting to work less / parent less/ menopause. Can’t tell you how glad we are now we stopped at two now ours 16 and 18. People focus on the early years but it’s the other end of parenting too that gets expensive and is demanding even with pleasant NT teens.

We have 3 but the costs have gone up so much it's hard to make a good decision on it.
Older teens are very expensive. 2 of ours are athletes and tall and 5000 a day 😭
We can't buy them second hand clothes because there is nothing in their sizes. They will have shoe sizes over 10 and get through shoes very quickly as play lots of sports honestly our shoe bill (nothing fancy) is ridiculous alone
All three want to go to university I have no idea how we're going to be able to subsidize that. Many of my friends have older children also helped them out with house deposits.
They didn't fit into our little Kong anymore so we had to buy a bigger car which they squeeze into in the back.
All of their sports activities cost a fortune. Doing anything together as a family is so expensive as its basically paying for five adults.

We live in a modest house in the NW with an income of around £60k net. Cheap camping and visiting relative style holidays 2 a year.

I think that’s unfair (not to me but as a general response)

contribution looks like different things, going away to university isn’t a right, and in many instances isn’t necessary, especially with some of the more Mickey Mouse degrees out there. The most common subjects such as business, the humanities and even law are offered by such a wide array of universities that staying at home should be considered by children. It is the norm to stay home in many other countries such as France and Australia. You’re right things have changed but that means students/ children need to adjust their expectations.

most of us in this situation were children in 1996 and have only just bought houses ourselves, so we aren’t looking back at the days of yore when a 4 bed detached was 75k and your combined annual salary was 40k. Houses prices were high (rates low, but that’s balancing out now) and I just didn’t expect my parents to give me £20/£30k + for a house deposit, because fundamentally it’s not their responsibility to house me as a full grown adult. I wanted to buy a property, I chose it, based on my savings. They gave me a gift, which I was incredibly appreciative for. But I don’t think gifting an entire house deposit is an expectation that should be put on parents. My children would be able to live with me, for a nominal small rent towards bills and save the rest for their house deposit. It’s a fundamental lesson in budgeting, and working hard. This would be the same if I had one, two or 6 children.