Would you send reception child to school today ? Illness related

[savetheday]

My threshold for illness and sending my child to nursery has always been very low. So any slight issue, I tend to keep her home.

She's started school now and her brother has had a fever for a few days. She woke up today and I took her temperature at 38. I told her she may not be able to go to school today and she was distraught because she's going to miss her friends, bless her.

Anyway, she's downstairs now and the temp seems to have come down on its own at around 37.4, some times 37.7.

In my opinion, she should not go in today.

What would you do ?

As I said, my usual threshold is low but I understand that now she's at school - she'll sometimes need to go in even with a sore throat or something but I draw the line at waking up with a fever ? To me that means she's not well and coming down with something.

She says she doesn't have pain anywhere.

@Dramatic yes you're right. My gut told me she wasn't ok, as soon as she called me yesterday morning.

I think she was ok yesterday during the day having fun with her friends and then crashed when she got home. But I don't know for sure. I'll ask the teachers. Her class only has 15 in it, so you'd think they'd be more likely to notice if she's unwell. I'm assuming she was just having fun and fine most of the day, even if she had a slight fever.

However in terms of absences, it's probably best she did go in yesterday and I have saved the time for when she's actually very sick, like today.

@NerrSnerr I know what you mean, but I do like to tell her these things sometimes to disprove her theories, as my logical mind knows that she won't get pneumonia just because she didn't have socks on or something.

My standard is to inform the teacher at drop off that DD is feeling under the weather and I'm at home and don't hesitate to call. I've volunteered in reception and seen children snoozing in the book corner because the teacher knows it'll be massively disruptive to call the parent away from work an hour before school finishes.

I would have sent in yesterday as she was keen, ate breakfast (a big marker round here) and especially because she had a school trip. They'll be doing work on it and chatting about it all week.

Nurofen I find it better for temp then calpol

But you can give both alternatively

You sound like a great mum OP. Hope your children are both feeling better soon.

However in terms of absences, it's probably best she did go in yesterday and I have saved the time for when she's actually very sick, like today.

Not best for the other children in the class though, some of whom will now have caught what your daughter has. Honestly, I think you should have gone with your instincts yesterday. You sounded sensible rather than paranoid. It was annoying to see how many were saying you should just dose her up and send her in. A fever means the child is fighting something and viruses are generally most contagious at the start. I hope she's feeling better soon.

Come off it, they would have caught it anyway and it's not a bad thing they did - coughs and colds are important in childhood to build up the immune system.

Go with your instincts, but don't keep a child off just for a snotty nose. I also think fever always sounds quite dramatic, like someone lying listless in an eighteenth century bed - temperature is much less hyperbolic unless they really are feverish (I think this means hot/cold, shivery, incoherent etc).

Definitions of a fever vary by organisation, but a temperature of 37.5 or above is considered a liw grade fever.I wouldn’t send a reception child in with a temperature. What are they really going to miss? On the other hand she will be in close proximity to 20+ others including g the teacher

She definitely had a few readings at 38. It had nothing to do with her being in bed. She wasn't feeling well in the morning, clearly. She said her skin was hot. She only says that when she has a fever. She doesn't even really sleep with covers on anyway, so it just wasn't that she was really wrapped up or anything, like some posters suggested.

She was coming down with it, I stand by that. But she was probably ok to go in. She didn't eat her breakfast but just wanted milk. She was in the beginning stages of the illness yesterday and it kicked off properly yesterday afternoon.

She'll be ok and so will her classmates.

No her daughter had a temp yesterday 38 is a temp and is not caused by a duvet.
she had the same virus / illness last night with a fever of 39 etc as she did in the morning at 38

You know her classmates will all be ok ?

@Sendwineandchocolate I would think so. It's unfortunately a risk we all expose our kids to when we take them to school or anywhere really.

And most of the time, they're fine and it builds their immune system.

But of course, on this thread I can't win, can I !

The vast majority of people who responded early on were the "crack on, you're being paranoid" crew. They're all oddly quiet now though. You're right op, you can't win! Please make sure you make time today to sit and eat something nice and have a coffee while you're looking after the plague house!

It was your call and you were happy with your decision. You know your child best and you said she seemed well in herself. For me, the temperature is enough indication that mine needs a day off to rest but I think he only gets a fever when he is properly unwell. All kids are different and those with less well tuned immune systems will get an overreaction to something that they throw off in a morning.

If she has no obvious other symptoms perhaps it could be something like a bladder infection, those are sneaky and take a while to become obvious.

One thing about swimming, I was prone to ear infections as a child and was told by the doctor not to swim with a snotty cold as that could push the infection into my ear. That's the only reason I know of not to swim and is only relevant if you're prone to a certain type of ear infection I think. Or it might just have been 80s advice! I'm sure your mum was just trying to help, smile nicely and say you'll bear that in mind next time! I'm sure the cool water felt lovely if she had a bit of a fever :)

Hope they're both on the mend today x

The vast majority of people who responded early on were the "crack on, you're being paranoid" crew. They're all oddly quiet now though. You're right op, you can't win! Please make sure you make time today to sit and eat something nice and have a coffee while you're looking after the plague house!
I'm happy to come back and stand by it. She might have been brewing something yesterday but she was fine to go in. It wad still the right decision.

Well you certainly changed your tune based on a few opinions on the internet. You went from being concerned about your child being unwell and possibly being contagious to others, to not giving a toss. Maybe I’m biased because I have a child who is immunosuppressed. I accept that it’s unrealistic to think we can (or should) protect our children from all illnesses, but a bit of common sense doesn’t go amiss when it comes to a raised temperature.

I was one who said that she sounded fine and I would send her in.
I stand by it too; in my situation I can take a single day of domestic leave at a time so I keep this for when it's really needed. However with a temp of 40 I would obviously be keeping her at home.

@TenWeeCaramelJoeys I clearly need to change my tune though don't I ?

That's why I asked because I know I'm cautious, but I need to change my ways as she is at school now. I'm sorry if that sounds like I don't give a toss about other kids. Unfortunately it's the schools that are penalising parents too much for absences. I agree with you that she should not have gone yesterday. But what choice do I have, now she's at school and needs to attend ?

I'll only keep her off if she's really unwell in herself. I feel for your child. I am immunocompromised myself. The system isn't right, if you ask me.

You won't get fined for illness. Fines are for unauthorised absence, if you follow the school policy and report sickness correctly it is authorised absence.

I follow the NHS guidance here:
https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/is-my-child-too-ill-for-school/

And if my child was off enough for them to question it (he hasn't been off an unusual amount, but who knows what will go around any particular year) I keep a record and will ask them which illness I should have sent him in with.

You might not get fines but there are trigger points where you'll have the joy of interventions and plans etc. DS' attendance in KS1 wasn't great because he was in and out of hospital; even with a letter from his paeds consultant, letters for all appointments, evidence of GP visits etc we had to have meetings with schools, attendance plans and to meet with someone from the council I'm pretty sure it was. It wasn't even ludicrously low. Not saying people should send children in when poorly or be scared, but it's not the case that they can be off whenever with illness and school aren't bothered.

Do you know when absences become too much by any chance ? Is it below 90 percent attendance ?

It is a bit different in reception as until they're 5 it's not considered the same (school may still raise concerns but there isn't much they can 'formally' do). The school website and/or local authority website should have an attendance policy- not sure if it differs elsewhere.

How much has she been off sick? She's only just started reception hasn't she? Was she off a huge amount from nursery?

Follow your gut, don't send her in sick and see how she goes. If her absence seems high then think about changing your threshold! I wouldn't worry before that.
I don't send mine in if he's off colour and clearly brewing something and his attendance record is fine. A day rest to throw it off before it takes hold properly means he doesn't give it to as many classmates and only needs a day or two rather than feeling miserable, getting sent home after sharing it around and needing more days to recover.

And yeah, before they're 5 they're not at compulsory school age anyway.

@longapple she had around 14 days off last year, I just counted. She was at a school nursery.

A couple of D + V episodes which always require 2 days. Croup, conjunctivitis, tonsillitis, ear infections.

She tends to get quite high fevers and usually when she has a fever in the night, I would keep her home the next day to recover etc.

I realise 14 days is a lot but she was still little and it was nursery. Of course I'll be much more careful now that it's not as many days and also she's likely going to get ill less often as she's older too.

I used to tend to keep her home and extra day so she could recover and gather strength before she'd go back in.

@longapple she's not had any days off sick yet since starting reception. This is the first time so far.

I'd be wary with having a low threshold, I used to be the same with my eldest (SAHM so easier to have a lower threshold!)
Our attendance did start to drop down as it's giving days off like these here and there can soon add up.
I think when they are too poorly for school it's usually very obvious and the decision is easy, if you aren't sure and they seem fine i would always send now and speak to the teacher. They can always be picked up if needs be!
Not judging at all just speaking from my experience as I used to feel the same as you.