To not want to eat any more of DH’s “experimental” cooking

[Aydel]

DH took early retirement, and I’m still working full time in a full on job with a long commute as we’re waiting for our home to be renovated.

I suggested that DH take on more of the housework and particularly cooking dinner. I have literally hundreds of cook books that he can use either to follow a recipe or for inspiration. He said he prefers to “experiment” according to what is in the fridge.

So far he has produced:

A sausage and lentil casserole that he decided to flavour with cinnamon sticks and cloves. It was vile and inedible and a waste of ingredients.

A dish of kidney beans cooked in tomato sauce. He cooked the dry beans directly in the sauce, without soaking them. They were hard and inedible, and potentially poisonous. I didn’t eat them.

Tonight he had made chicken in a Mexican chilli sauce with potato wedges and a salad. This had the potential to be nice but he decided to mix it all together in a sort of “salade tiède”, except the chicken and potatoes were too hot and the lettuce sort of melted and disappeared. And there was too much sauce, so it was a big sloppy mess.

I didn’t take tonight’s meal well. I’d been travelling for work and had been travelling all day. I told him it would have been fine if he had served everything separately but the big bowl of slop was a step too far. I said I was tired of his experimenting and all I wanted was a decent meal, and could he please just follow a recipe for once. He’s now retired, hurt, to lick his wounds, and is being huffy. I don’t think this is strategic incompetence so that I take back all the cooking, but how bloody difficult is it to produce an edible meal?

I would like to begin experimenting a little. I can cook ok, but it's still very basic

You shouldn’t need hello fresh, a cookery course and a range of specific cookbooks just for you to put an edible tea on the table. It would be a waste of time and money anyway getting those things if he refuses to even entertain the 500 cookbooks already in the house. I am very annoyed about this on your behalf op as there is nothing worse than getting home after a long day and thinking you can just relax and then you have to cobble together a quick meal out of whatever is left because what’s been made is inedible and all you get is sad face and huffs because you wouldn’t just eat the slop to make your husband feel good about himself. Arrgghh

@TheDeepLemonHelper we should compare notes!

I’ve said that we should get greater use of the cook books - one of us picks a book and the other has to cook something from it, but even this doesn’t seem to work.

I don’t think we need Hello Fresh. We’ve got spinach, broccoli, mushrooms, peppers, leeks, chives, parsley, coriander, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, garlic, ginger, sweet potatoes and normal potatoes. Plus chicken, tofu and a number of cheeses. He should be able to cobble together something from that. And that’s just the fridge. The freezer and store cupboard are well stocked too.

He said he prefers to “experiment” according to what is in the fridge.

We split the cooking 50/50 and like to be adventurous and try new things sometimes, but we have never organised our menus like this, ever. I mean in terms of buying in food then deciding what to cook with it. I just can't work like that. I always, well it is a joint effort so we always, sit down and plan the menus a week in advance. Then we shop according to what we plan to eat. I also find there is less waste like that. The menus for the week are attached to the fridge door.

Anyone is free to experiment, but it would be planned experimentation, so there would be the chance to say "Hm, are you sure that will work?"

He needs to follow a recipe

I just make sure there is a stock of the staples and let my husband get on with it. Occasionally he will ask me to get something specific but other than that there is no advanced planning and no waste. I don’t know what I will be getting until I sit at the table. It works for us.

He said he prefers to “experiment” according to what is in the fridge.

Well fuck that. He's tried experimenting and he produces inedible shite. He needs to follow a recipe.

Agree with @Howmanycatsistoomany

He needs to be told that his experimental cooking phase is over.

My husband enjoyed the M&S carrots flavoured with orange one Christmas. So much so, that the following Christmas he cooked all the vegetables in Tropicana orange juice. I can still picture the look on MIL's face when he asked what she thought of his dinner. I'm cracked up at the thought of it now. Like Chandler Bing's engagement photo smile 🤣

These grown men who need mothering are pathetic, sorry. I don’t know how women put up with it. I give him credit for trying though.

Let him learn. He should have learnt already, but still. Cook a couple of meals with him, show him some techniques, let him learn from you and see how he does. Being ultra critical is just going to make him stop.

I think you are probably right. I made some right awful disasters when I was young - many people go through this phase! It's worse if you've watched a bit of Heston or masterchef and know that weird combinations can sometimes work, but don't know enough to know that they don't work.

I can recommend a book that I have bought for a few people, and which I also use, which is the Flavour Thesaurus https://www.amazon.co.uk/Flavour-Thesaurus-Niki-Segnit/dp/0747599777

If he is prone to experimenting, maybe this would help guide some of those experiments, without him having to submit to the shame of actually following a recipe like a grown-up?

@WitcheryDivine The idea of your husband doing "unnatural things to a chicken with cloves" rather entertained me. Poor chicken, poor you.

That makes sense. Cinnamon really is a standard ingredient in a sausage and lentil casserole - cloves are a reasonable addition in concept but not in that quantity!

That salmon, on the other hand, sounds like an absolute monstrosity. What the actual fuck 😂

He can and previously did cook normal food.

He's trying to have some fun doing something creative in his retirement...which is fine in principle but not if it leaves the family without edible food.

I would book him into a cookery class as a Christmas present.

Have you ever heard of a Thermomix? This would be perfect for your hubby!! He can choose from one of the 94,000 onboard recipes (also in an app called Cookidoo) and it is guided cooking. Step by step..weighs, chops, cooks, mixes…he literally can’t go wrong!
my hubby loves it, although his repertoire is only risottos at the moment but he is getting the confidence to try more!

Pm me if you want more info…we absolutely love ours!!

You are absolutely right!! Stick to your rights to expect a decent satisfying meal after a hard day at work

It's the other way around in our house, I can and do cook and my partner can't. Just to clarify, I'm a man and she's a beautiful angel of a woman. I when we were 1st together, she attempted to make Kraft instant mac & cheese. God knows what she did wrong but it ended up a gloopy mess at the bottom of the pan.

Since we started using Gousto, my DH has become a decent cook. But he went through a phase like yours, thinking that if a pinch of something improves the flavour, a tablespoon will improve it much more.
Uh no. A dash of Worcestershire sauce in a cheese sauce is perfect, several hearty glugs of the stuff is vile