To not want to eat any more of DH’s “experimental” cooking

[Aydel]

DH took early retirement, and I’m still working full time in a full on job with a long commute as we’re waiting for our home to be renovated.

I suggested that DH take on more of the housework and particularly cooking dinner. I have literally hundreds of cook books that he can use either to follow a recipe or for inspiration. He said he prefers to “experiment” according to what is in the fridge.

So far he has produced:

A sausage and lentil casserole that he decided to flavour with cinnamon sticks and cloves. It was vile and inedible and a waste of ingredients.

A dish of kidney beans cooked in tomato sauce. He cooked the dry beans directly in the sauce, without soaking them. They were hard and inedible, and potentially poisonous. I didn’t eat them.

Tonight he had made chicken in a Mexican chilli sauce with potato wedges and a salad. This had the potential to be nice but he decided to mix it all together in a sort of “salade tiède”, except the chicken and potatoes were too hot and the lettuce sort of melted and disappeared. And there was too much sauce, so it was a big sloppy mess.

I didn’t take tonight’s meal well. I’d been travelling for work and had been travelling all day. I told him it would have been fine if he had served everything separately but the big bowl of slop was a step too far. I said I was tired of his experimenting and all I wanted was a decent meal, and could he please just follow a recipe for once. He’s now retired, hurt, to lick his wounds, and is being huffy. I don’t think this is strategic incompetence so that I take back all the cooking, but how bloody difficult is it to produce an edible meal?

Yeah I'm quite surprised (by which I mean it hurts my soul) by the anti-marmite sentiment, it's a very good addition in the right amount.

I also use coffee (& cocoa powder) in my chilli

beef and pear sounds so awful and like something my DH would do.

My husband does a lovely lamb and pear casserole.

I think many men don't bother to read the instructions for anything.
Not following recipes is not surprising. They think they know best.

My ex used to 'experiment' with cooking too. I hated it. Always rank.

Just use the recipe books and stop trying to be bloody clever all the time.

Yes! This!

My DH couldn't cook when I met him as his df did it all so he started with basics then when I worked eves w ends he cooked for the dcs.
We got a temp probe and I drummed in basic dos and don't s.
He cooks a mean roast now.
I agree get your DH hello fresh boxes for a bit or the recipe cards that are seasonal in Waitrose.
Maybe more expensive but it's it's edible you are winning.

Oh ladies, just think how far we could go in life with just a modicum of the confidence of these Poundland Gordon Ramseys. We’d have collectively taken over the world by now.

Is the not following recipes by some men associated with not asking for directions when driving in a new place? Now I think of it, with phone apps does this happen at all now?

Thankfully, when I was laid up with a broken hip, my husband took over the household duties and followed recipes - otherwise I think war would have broken out. However, he did follow them and produced some really nice tagines and curries. The recipes are there for a reason!

I didn’t take tonight’s meal well

^

I'm sorry but this is so funny

It really is strategic incompetence. This has to be done really well or you'd be on to it in no time. When it is very well done ~ and your husband has put some real time, skill and effort into it ~ the man comes across as just a bit of a bumbler. Now you know.

Clove and cinnamon sound like Moroccan flavors to me - all that was missing was a few apricots

And wilted lettuce is a thing

This is fantastic!

May I suggest he goes back to the non experimental stuff

Yes, my oldest DD used to try to make cakes without recipes, mostly just turned out like tough biscuits. My DS makes a lot of food he believes is healthy which are mainly undercooked vegetables and a little over-cooked meat or fish, I dread going there for a meal. He’s 45.

Is this weaponised incompetence?

Get him to order a meal box where he has the recipes and ingredients in front of him!
They are increasingly becoming a value for money way of cooking in the light of increased food prices imo.Plus you get massive discounts as a new customer.

Ah…the joys of bloke cookery where any ingredient can serve any purpose. Hello Fresh to the rescue!

@RachelGreep87 yes, I have over 500 cook books, including in French, German, Polish, Romanian, Dutch and Spanish. I’ve been collecting them for years.

I forgot the worst meal of all, which was salmon poached in soya milk. It was supposed to be poached in coconut milk with chillies, ginger, garlic and lemongrass. It contained chilli powder and nothing else. DD actually cried. For those who don’t think the cloves and cinnamon in sausages and lentils sounds too bad, the cloves overpowered everything as there were about 12 in it.

The cloves aren't the problem it's the cinnamon with sausages!! It's a sweet spice, it can go with savoury but on only in very carefully controlled circumstance!

I'm going back to read this thread properly, I need to know if he think this is acceptable and you're just too fussy

No the cloves are definitely the problem lol, 12 cloves would make it physically uncomfortable to eat,

The safest way to use cloves is to open the lid, give them a sniff, remember how incredibly strong they are & put the lid back on. The flavoured air that escaped during that process can cascade gently onto the dish & voila!

I can't imagine eating cloves with anything. It's the main ingredient in my toothpaste

Tell him experimental is fine, within parameters.
I’m not the world’s best cook, but BBC good food recipes online always seem to work out well and are easy to follow.
I can see why he may be a little huffy as he is trying - at least it’s not egg and chips each night. Just say, thanks for the effort but can you try something more mainstream. I get hungry after a long day and want something healthy and edible.

@Namechangetotalkaboutmysleepingpillsproblem

The line between 'gently aromatic' & 'did you use TCP in this?!' is vanishingly thin 😂

I've had too many undrinkable mulled wines due to that line