Should I finally learn to drive?

[Blimey97]

I'm 27 and I still don't know how to drive. My anxiety has always held me back, but now I have a baby, I'm starting to wonder whether I should learn to drive. At the moment, I heavily rely on lifts from my partner, my mother in law and sometimes a friend. I get dropped off at work and picked up, but I find myself panicking sometimes about what would happen if neither of them were around. Or what might happen if I had an emergency and needed to get somewhere but no one could take me. The issue is I work part time and don't earn much (less than £1000 a month) and I know driving lessons are really expensive. I was thinking about putting a little bit of money away each month, but it would take me quite a while to save up more than a grand. I could put it off for a few years until I'm in full time work but then I worry I'm leaving it too late. It would be handy if I could drive when my daughter starts school etc. What should I do? Is driving essential when you're a parent?

Yes learn to drive.

I'm 44 and learning. Always relied on hubby; walking and public transport but now parents are getting older and kids are doing more activities I appreciate how much is falling onto hubby. If I can do it so can you! I'm having a lesson a fortnight and trying to go out with hubby in between. Taking longer but getting there! Ask for a lesson for birthday or Christmas? Or your theory test? Go for it!!

i learnt at 28 so i could drive by the time ds was born
go for it op
it is not too late
dh learnt in his 30s or 40s, not sure

Wouldn’t partner contribute? It benefits him too.

Yes learn. It sounds like you're heavily reliant on other people. If you can comfortably get around on public transport that's different, but it doesn't sound like you can.

In my opinion, driving equals choice and freedom and access to untold options, for you and your children.

If you CAN learn, I'd say do.

And I say this as someone who's anxiety issues stopped them from driving for 10 years between the age of 30 to 40 so I have a good comparison

Driving’s not essential (in an emergency you would take a taxi) but it is useful. If you are struggling to begin with, consider an automatic, it’s one less thing to think about, and electric cars are more like automatics to drive.

Learn to drive. My sister never had and she is quite frankly a in the arse. My husband had to drive her baby home from hospital. He was happy to do it but it's a big ask, bad enough when it's your own child.

Oh agree with pp just do auto. No one needs to drive manual now.

I’m 51. I never drove. But my DH is ill and can’t drive anymore so have started lessons. Loving it lol

Do it and learn in an automatic, it’s so much easier!

If you learn to drive a manual you can drive any car afterwards. Most cars in the UK are manual. Automatics are more expensive.

Yes, you never know when driving will be the best option.

Do you have any friends on farms or in the country or who live near large supermarket carparks who will teach you for a while (in a paddock or park) before paying for an instructor?

Do it! It’s not essential because you’re a parent, if you lived in central london it wouldn’t matter at all, but it sounds like it would be pretty important for you because it’s a major limit on your independence having to rely on DP, MIL and friends, and not being able to get yourself to/from work isn’t great, and then the stress of what if one of them can’t give you a lift. But why would you have to scrimp and save from your PT salary? Obviously depends on your financial set up but I’d expect DP to be at least a little bit supportive, because it would be a huge benefit to the family and to him personally- no more running you around! Would he insure you on his car and take you out to practice so you don’t need as many lessons? Get you a block of lessons for xmas?

If you can find a way to afford it. If you're good at picking things up fast and have a good memory even 1 lesson a week would get you there, would just take a little longer. The independence and how much easier it can make your life with little ones, is definitely worth the price of lessons for a while.

Good luck with it OP x

I’d learn as it gives you options. Lessons are £££ now though, I got a couple of lessons then hired out a learner car from Arnold Clark, you paid by the hour and you needed someone with full UK licence with you. Then I got insured on family car and did lots of practice. Then an intensive course and passed my test.

I learned at 35 with 2 kids, massively improved my life. I would say if you don’t drive you need to either learn or live somewhere with excellent public transport. I coped for years with okay public transport, bus to nearest town every 30 minutes, but now I drive I have so many more options, I can get places much more quickly, I’ve many more job opportunities, I can take the kids off at a moments notice, I can share driving with dh, I can go visit friends. It gives me loads more freedom.

I do find i live life at a much faster pace, I do sometimes miss only being able to do the one thing because it takes time to get from place to place. I’ve got really fond memories of bus journeys with my youngest. But I’m sure some of that is nostalgia, it was probably quite frustrating really!

Why would you have to pay for lessons out of your own budget? Its something that would benefit your whole family.

You can learn a lot of theory of how a car works, ie how not to stall a car by understanding the clutch, also which lanes to be in, meeting situations etc by watching YouTube and all the driving instructors on there who post their content including mock tests and they voice over what they do well and what they should have done if they didn't do the right thing. Off the top of my head, Clearview Driving, DGN, Conquer Driving. Ds learned a lot before getting into a car and his instructor said he was the most prepared student he has ever had. All that is free.

I think the above knowledge may massively help with your anxiety toward driving. Re insurance there are learner insurance policies that will not affect the main policy on the car. Veygo is one of them, you can insure a learner on the car for different periods and if you did have an accident it is a separate policy so doesn't affect the policy of the person whose car you are in. I am sure this is still the case but read the terms and conditions.

I would honestly do driving lessons with an instructor first then practise in whatever car you can. Ds had about 12-14 hours with an instructor before the instructor said he was safe and aware enough to not need dual control.

Do it, age is no barrier, if you find gears too difficult then you can always learn in an automatic but don't let your anxiety tell you you cannot do this. Argue back and tell it you can. At least try.

I would say go for it. My parents made me learn when I was in my early 20’s. I really didn’t want to, but I’m so glad they did.

I was never keen on driving and I hadn’t driven for 20 years, my DH does all the driving I just can’t see properly out of our car. Then my Dad was in hospital for two months over early summer and my Mum isn’t allowed to drive. So I bought myself a small car so I could go and see them both and take my Mum to see my Dad.

It also means I can take DD to her activities like she goes to Guides and the last couple of weeks it’s been 7 miles away so I could take her rather than having to try and arrange a lift, and I can now reciprocate the lifts she’s had.

It’s the best thing I’ve done in years. Given me so much more freedom and knowing that I can get to my Mum and Dad whenever I need too is good. The more I’ve driven the more confident I’ve got and I can honestly say I quite enjoy driving now.

Anxiety sufferer here and also currently getting accessed for adhd. At he grand old age of 43 im finally managing to learn properly. Tried and failed twice in the past. I have a really good instructor, which is def key for me, as I suffer really low self esteem. I'm doing automatic only too, so there is much less to take in. So hopefully by next spring/summer I'll finally have my license.
So yes definitely go for it. Anxiety has taken over and wasted decades of my life.

Go for it! I learned at 30, when my daughter was 2 as I was fed up having to struggle onto buses with a buggy.
An automatic is the way to go...ask for money towards lessons for christmas, get a provisional licence, book a theory test and you'll soon be on your way, good luck!

Yes, yes and yes. You need your independence and even if short term you find it's not useful you may need it down the line. Too many women on here say they didn't because the man did (and chauffeured them around) but then wonder why being widowed or divorced is much harder than for those who maintained independence. Please do it, I doubt you'd ever regret it.

I was 32 and pregnant when I passed! Best thing I ever did. Made having dc so much easier..

Go for it!
I learnt early 30s. When my children went to birthday parties I had to ask other parents for lifts if they were mid week - it was embarrassing to always have to ask favours.
I love being able to drive, it gives me such a great sense of freedom.