Husband not letting me txt friends partner

[Westcoastlass]

My friend turns 40 this month so i text her partner asking if he is arranging a surprise party? As he mentioned before he was.
I was out with my husband and kids today after dinner i seen i had a few messages from him asking advice on what to buy her, giving me a date for her party, letting me know whos coming. I text back saying brilliant xx i let my husband know and basically its 9.15pm Saturday night and he has spent the last 2 hours amgry , saying i should not have text him, he should let us know.. saying because i put a kiss at the end he will get the wrong idea. He sent 4 or 5 messages and i sent a 1 word reply but my husband thinks rather than my reply saying brilliant i shoukd have just replied "ok" i have spent 2 hours crying as i feel like he is dictating who i text and what i say. Hes saying theres something fishy going ok, when i accused him of being a bully and dictator he said im welcome to him . I burst out crying i didnt know where to tur n or who to turn to i felt like jumping off a bridge. Im in my daughters bed and i am.shaking like a leaf i cant stop crying . This couple we are both friends with thete is 100% nothing going on i genuinely just wanted to find out if my frined was having a birthday party but my husband is saying im taking it all the wrong way, its because he has sent me 5 messages back and might send me a few in the run up with times or venue change or asking advice or a gift he might not or he may text my husband about it as we are all friends, i get he doesnt want him texting me loads but i am.not in a habit of texting him.or any other males at all. i dont think i have done anything wrong i have spent the evening in tears he did apologise for shouting but then keeps saying i should not have text him and why do i even have to know when the party is i should have just left it? Saying hes not going to the party i can go myself so now i am even more upset and i dont think he is sorry at all. Hr went up stairs and said he cant be in the same room as me i cant sleep i dont know who to turn to i cant stop crying . Am i in the wrong?

This.

Go to any police station and ask for help for yourself and your children.

Are you scared of him? If my husband got annoyed with me for sending the same messages you sent, my reaction would be something along the lines of, "Don't be ridiculous," followed by, "I'm not discussing this anymore." If he tried to drag it on any longer. It's weird that it's gone on for 2 hours and left you in bed sobbing and shaking.

Are your children witnessing this?

Do you need somebody to advice who you should be texting. Tell him to piss off!

Do you work, do you go to the pub, gymn, work social events, anywhere that would involve you talking to men, trying to work out how controlling he is, if he gets awkward when you want to do any of these things without him then it's a red flag.

I doubt you'll leave him, but you'd be best to do that if a disagreement over a text message can lead to this reaction. It's not normal for a relationship to be like this. And crying & shaking in your daughters bed isn't the right thing to do, she will feel scared. Your poor kids.

Yep. What that poster said. He’s a controlling abusive cunt. He LOVES how devastated you are.

Why on earth would you want to stay with a man who treats you like this? Serious question.

This.

It's easy to look in from a non-abusive relationship and think OP is overreacting etc, but this is the result of the mind-fuck that abusers do.

I hope you're able to find the strength to leave OP. You deserve so much better than this.

You fell asleep when you were both meant to be having some 'alone time' in bed. He was 'off' with you all day, you barely heard from him and when he came home he picked a fight with you over food. Kicked you out the kitchen (metaphorically) and you didn't eat that night as he 'wouldn't let you back into the kitchen'. The silent treatment and picking a fight over food, was his way of punishing you for falling asleep, and not giving him sex. He wants you upset and begging him, it makes him feel big and powerful. You sent a text message to another man, and put a X at the end of the text. He didn't like that, you are his, and you've disrespected him by sending a message to this man. He knows perfectly well, the text message is innocent and the kiss at the end means nothing, but again making you upset is your punishment and the fact you beg, makes him feel big and powerful. Your husband is being abusive. You need help from Woman's Aid. His behaviour is not normal and is very unhealthy.

Your husband is controlling and jealous. Totally irrational. I would not stay with someone who treated me like this. Of course it's fine to text your friend's partner!