This feels like the same argument that people, who agree with grammars use against kids, who fail the 11+. I sat the 12+ and failed btw. So I know exactly what that feels like. I went to a dire school with a dumbed down education when I would have been capable of passing had I had more supportive parenting. I just lacked confidence in my ability rather than being less able. Decisions like this have life long consequences for the individual and no one should wish this on a child.
I am not 100% against grammars per se btw as I am aware that there are pockets of comprehensives sitting alongside grammars. I remember a post on here couple of years ago, where someone’s ds had passed the 11+ and they decided he’d be better off in the comp.
This is the sort of provision we should aspire to either with or without grammars. And I recognise this is extremely challenging for myriad reasons. However, if really decent provision were available, our kids, who we’ve put in private school just so they can access education, wouldn’t need to be in private provision.
We are also alleviating the burden for our kids on state so that there is more money for the kids in state, who need it. All that removing this boy from private provision achieves is ensuring the scarce resources available to kids with SEN in his new school become scarcer and everyone loses.