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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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14
Blessedbunny · 06/10/2024 19:43

mugboat · 06/10/2024 19:23

they might move back after they have spent a bit of time living, working and educating their children in Dubai

Why do you say that? Have you lived and worked in Dubai?

Blessedbunny · 06/10/2024 19:45

prestolondon · 06/10/2024 18:03

This is exactly what is going to happen. People will buy properties near the best state schools. I know I would. It’s a win win, nice house, near a great school, leaving plenty of money to travel etc. It’s a no brainer.

Exactly. The Labour Party are obviously Very Clever.

BanksysSprayCan · 06/10/2024 19:46

prestolondon · 06/10/2024 19:20

People have always moved that is very true.
I just know 2 different parents who have moved to Dubai due to tax and international schooling. Both PS parents- one a state school teacher and the other a scientist

Scientists have always been internationally mobile. Brexit related limitations and the current funding problems in higher education institutions are the main drivers of that particular exodus for scientists who are British nationals.

And for scientists who are non British nationals, more stringent ‘anti immigrant’ visa conditions are making family life in the UK more challenging or impossible.

mugboat · 06/10/2024 19:49

Blessedbunny · 06/10/2024 19:43

Why do you say that? Have you lived and worked in Dubai?

Clearly not, as I said "from what I have heard". I do have a close friend who lived there until very recently. I also have colleagues who go there frequently.

I'm not going to detail the reasons why though here on this thread. This is a thread about private sch VAT fees, not Dubai living conditions.

mugboat · 06/10/2024 19:51

Blessedbunny · 06/10/2024 19:42

In London? Yes. There is a very high staff turnover rate.

Depends on the school. Not my daughter's school for example.

Applebutt3r · 06/10/2024 19:51

But those houses are already going to be taken with families who have kids in said schools.

Blessedbunny · 06/10/2024 19:55

mugboat · 06/10/2024 19:49

Clearly not, as I said "from what I have heard". I do have a close friend who lived there until very recently. I also have colleagues who go there frequently.

I'm not going to detail the reasons why though here on this thread. This is a thread about private sch VAT fees, not Dubai living conditions.

Ok thanks, I’ve lost track on this thread there are so many posts. I have and it was fantastic, we had a brilliant time. I’d go back in future for sure. Not atm, it’s the wrong time for us (extra uni fees if counted as a non uk resident last 3yrs)

prestolondon · 06/10/2024 20:09

Blessedbunny · 06/10/2024 19:42

In London? Yes. There is a very high staff turnover rate.

Yep in London. In London there are some excellent state teachers but sadly they are not respected and appreciated so leave and leave fast. The sub teachers, some are excellent but would not way take a perm contract when they get more money freelance without the additional paperwork

Blessedbunny · 06/10/2024 20:10

mugboat · 06/10/2024 19:51

Depends on the school. Not my daughter's school for example.

Yes. It depends on the school. Very much. There’s one called Kew House - staff turnover is through the roof.

Blessedbunny · 06/10/2024 20:11

prestolondon · 06/10/2024 20:09

Yep in London. In London there are some excellent state teachers but sadly they are not respected and appreciated so leave and leave fast. The sub teachers, some are excellent but would not way take a perm contract when they get more money freelance without the additional paperwork

Yep. A lot go to private tutoring. Good choice these days..

prestolondon · 06/10/2024 20:12

Blessedbunny · 06/10/2024 20:11

Yep. A lot go to private tutoring. Good choice these days..

Yep so many good teachers tutoring for 11 plus and grammar entry. Lucrative business currently

User14March · 06/10/2024 20:13

The best tutors in London & SE charge a fortune - some north of 150ph.

cardibach · 06/10/2024 20:20

IMustDoMoreExercise · 06/10/2024 18:24

But the parents of poor kids can't afford lots of things, not just education. No-one says that it is unfair that they can't afford a Porsche.

The school admissions system should be a genuine lottery so that parents priced out of private schools can't buy up the houses around good school so that poor kids like I was can't get in to a good school.

I hope Labour makes it a lotery does this but I think that they are too stupid to realise what is going to happen with their policy of envy.

your parents having a Porsche or not doesn’t affect your life chances.

twistyizzy · 06/10/2024 20:23

cardibach · 06/10/2024 20:20

your parents having a Porsche or not doesn’t affect your life chances.

Yet actually it does. If your parents can afford a Porsche then they can afford other things that give you an advantage eg holidays, access to cultural activities + extra curriculars etc. They won't be struggling to put food on the table and will most likely to have a strong work ethic + expectations of their DC

cardibach · 06/10/2024 20:24

twistyizzy · 06/10/2024 20:23

Yet actually it does. If your parents can afford a Porsche then they can afford other things that give you an advantage eg holidays, access to cultural activities + extra curriculars etc. They won't be struggling to put food on the table and will most likely to have a strong work ethic + expectations of their DC

Edited

The Porsche doesn’t help.
Are you seriously saying on,y people who can afford all that have a strong work ethic?

twistyizzy · 06/10/2024 20:25

cardibach · 06/10/2024 20:24

The Porsche doesn’t help.
Are you seriously saying on,y people who can afford all that have a strong work ethic?

Edited

No, it was your example. You actually said "your parents having a porsche or not doesn't affect your life chances". That is blatantly untrue

cardibach · 06/10/2024 20:27

twistyizzy · 06/10/2024 20:25

No, it was your example. You actually said "your parents having a porsche or not doesn't affect your life chances". That is blatantly untrue

It was the example of t(e person I replied to. For a minute I thought that was you. Edited now. And no, it’s not untrue to say a Porsche doesn’t affect your life chances. That’s nonsense.

LovingCritic · 06/10/2024 20:30

twistyizzy · 06/10/2024 20:23

Yet actually it does. If your parents can afford a Porsche then they can afford other things that give you an advantage eg holidays, access to cultural activities + extra curriculars etc. They won't be struggling to put food on the table and will most likely to have a strong work ethic + expectations of their DC

Edited

Not really, my cleaner who lives in a council flat drives an old Porsche, they are not particularly expensive when old, like most cars - my mercedes soft top cost me £50 + £300 to have some jobs done, a lot more 20 years ago when it was new.

notbelieved · 06/10/2024 20:35

CreateUserNames · 06/10/2024 16:40

Then you should be grateful that you are lucky to have it all for free, well not free, to have it all paid by others.

Yes, people should be grateful for having children with educational needs which may mean they struggle to ever function in a work place. Same as we’re supposed to be grateful our disabled children have a school,place.

Jesus wept.

Blessedbunny · 06/10/2024 20:37

LovingCritic · 06/10/2024 20:30

Not really, my cleaner who lives in a council flat drives an old Porsche, they are not particularly expensive when old, like most cars - my mercedes soft top cost me £50 + £300 to have some jobs done, a lot more 20 years ago when it was new.

Yeah. People often somehow afford nice cars / sky tv etc when they have little Money.

a friend who’s a mortgage advisor one told me the size of a persons’ TV was (in his experience) inversely proportional to their wealth.

CreateUserNames · 06/10/2024 20:41

notbelieved · 06/10/2024 20:35

Yes, people should be grateful for having children with educational needs which may mean they struggle to ever function in a work place. Same as we’re supposed to be grateful our disabled children have a school,place.

Jesus wept.

Yes why not? The poster described a PERFECT school for the kids needs and it is very rare like a lucky draw!

notbelieved · 06/10/2024 20:59

Somebody who has achieved the same grades from a state school as opposed to private has oodles more resilience and ability to put up with achieving in more challenging circumstances

oodles? Please quantify ‘oodles’

shit happens to rich people as well, you know. Kids are abused, they are carers, deal with domestic abuse, drug abuse and alcoholism in the home. Their parents have acrimonious divorces, remarry and subject their children to all kinds of dodgy parenting in the name of ‘blending families’, their grandparents get dementia and their parents get cancer and other diseases. Sometimes their parents die. Their parents are almost always working ridiculously long hours to pay the school fees and teens may be alone longer than is ideal. Friendship issues hit just as hard, bullying still happens and not all classrooms are pleasant places to be. If you’re dyslexic, or you have some other learning difficulty, you still need to work hard to overcome that.

independents are not some kind of utopia the real world bypasses. Resilience can be developed in any environment.

mugboat · 06/10/2024 21:07

Blessedbunny · 06/10/2024 19:55

Ok thanks, I’ve lost track on this thread there are so many posts. I have and it was fantastic, we had a brilliant time. I’d go back in future for sure. Not atm, it’s the wrong time for us (extra uni fees if counted as a non uk resident last 3yrs)

Sooooo glad you had a marvellous time. I don't think it's for me.

prestolondon · 06/10/2024 21:08

notbelieved · 06/10/2024 20:59

Somebody who has achieved the same grades from a state school as opposed to private has oodles more resilience and ability to put up with achieving in more challenging circumstances

oodles? Please quantify ‘oodles’

shit happens to rich people as well, you know. Kids are abused, they are carers, deal with domestic abuse, drug abuse and alcoholism in the home. Their parents have acrimonious divorces, remarry and subject their children to all kinds of dodgy parenting in the name of ‘blending families’, their grandparents get dementia and their parents get cancer and other diseases. Sometimes their parents die. Their parents are almost always working ridiculously long hours to pay the school fees and teens may be alone longer than is ideal. Friendship issues hit just as hard, bullying still happens and not all classrooms are pleasant places to be. If you’re dyslexic, or you have some other learning difficulty, you still need to work hard to overcome that.

independents are not some kind of utopia the real world bypasses. Resilience can be developed in any environment.

Yep, it’s like being in PS is some wonderland where nothing ever bad happens. Kids are kids, life is life.

LovingCritic · 06/10/2024 21:12

notbelieved · 06/10/2024 20:35

Yes, people should be grateful for having children with educational needs which may mean they struggle to ever function in a work place. Same as we’re supposed to be grateful our disabled children have a school,place.

Jesus wept.

In fairness most workplaces are now so crackers, people sat a computers all day, at home, or in open plan offices, with things like HR and appraisals, its honestly a mystery how anyone functions.

I look in on that world with a sense of disbelief, pity and some admiration for the sheer staying power.

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