Getting the timing right? Success in later life?

[Firey40]

I'm 40, and I've been thinking a lot recently about finding role models who have gone on to have success or totally changed their life post 40

I feel like the timing of women's lives is SUCH a big deal for us; unless you are one of the few who 100% knows you don't want kids, the whole 'will-I-or-won't-I-have kids' question can be a big pressure until you either decide, or you get too old and age takes that decision away from you. But if you do want them, trying to conceive, then birth, then raise kids, can really dominate our 'best' years...

I was lucky enough to have babies in my 30's, and while I adore them I'll admit I feel a bit sad that my career and income isn't how I wanted it to be. So now I'm totally lit by ambition, and I'm excited at the possibilities... (if I can just figure out the childcare, and running our home, and being a caring daughter to my elderly parents and blaa blaa blaa blaa..!)

Has anyone else felt the same way? It's become a bit of an obsession for me at the moment!

…bump? :)

Following! I'm older than you and yearning for something interesting!

Isn’t it about time someone else took over the childcare for a few years, if it dominated your 30s?

How old are your kids OP?

I had my oldest at 26 and my youngest at 32. I loved the very young stage but when my youngest went to school I decided it was my time in terms of career. I was a teaching assistant but always wanted to be a teacher. So at 35 I went and did a degree and have been teaching since (I’m 44). What are you interested in OP? What did you do before? I have a lawyer friend who retrained recently and became a university lecturer. We’ve still got many years of working so we might as well do what we enjoy.

I went back to college last year at 47 and started my masters last week at 48.

If I can, you can!

But will you use that masters to have a lucrative & fulfilling career?
I know a few women who returned to study after having children, but then didn't use the qualification to go back to work.
Education for education's sake is wonderful (I've got a useless masters, but I'm still very glad I've got it) but it's an expensive hobby in terms of time & money these days.

Good for you! I’ve had a renaissance since entering my 40s - big promotion, fabulous job I love and my experience makes me good at it. Lost 3.5 stone

Loved this book

www.goodreads.com/book/show/36204301-how-women-rise

@tumtam I hope so otherwise it's a £10k waste of time and money.

A cancer diagnosis forced my hand and I had to sell my business and retrain. This is in something I already made money in so am hoping these qualifications will prove I can do it at a more professional level.

This is really cool - well done you :)

I really love writing and am trying to practice that loads, one day I would love to be published.

I have a small business that keeps my head above water financially speaking, but I have totally fallen out of love with the sector and yearn to do more artistic endeavours

Wow! You’re impressive :)

I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with cancer, that’s immensely tough.

If you’ve already made money in that sector and are now stepping up it sounds like a very wise choice to invest in yourself like that. I’m excited for you!

One starts primary next year, one in year 3

Watching with interest. I am currently job hunting and it is so frustrating.

Five years ago I thought this was simple. I had gone back to work part-time when DC was a toddler (a career change) and had spent 8 years happily doing a blend of commuting, working from home and had also begun some freelance work on the side. I had completed a masters in my new area and, in my early forties, felt pretty employable.

Roll forward five years and the effects of being made redundant during Covid, ageism, home responsibilities increasing in an unexpected way and the post-pandemic job market (which is quite different) have seen me out of work for eighteen months now.

I freelance quite regularly - organisations love to take their pick of my expertise for a few days - but no one will give me a flipping job!

@BadSkiingMum hmm that sounds very frustrating. Can you say approximately what sector you’re in?

what do you think would make the difference - do you need different skills, or is there just not enough work in the sector and you need to take a side step into something else?

Me, I work full time in a fulfilling but ultimately very junior job and I’d love to get back to the team manager roles I enjoyed pre kids but that was 20 years ago and I’m now competing against people much younger than me 😬

it’s so tough!

Mid 40's and have recently gone back to work full time after years of my career taking a back seat. I'm a teacher, I've moved schools and taken on some new responsibilities which is interesting and challenging but I'm really enjoying the change. I'm also trying to scrape back time for hobbies and craft I used to enjoy pre kids with a view to leaving teaching maybe at about 50, might have to be a bit after that, and pursuing a more crafty venture because by then we won't need my income so much and I can't sustain this level of work for much longer. Hope to see my current tutor group through their a levels. Also planning to fit a bit more travel in. Basically just trying to imagine what my post kids life will look like once they are off doing their own things.

I had mine in my early 20s much to the distaste of many MNetters but it's proving really successful for me. It was hard work doing those early rungs on the ladder with young children, but I was full of energy and optimism I just cracked on without too much self reflection, we got support with childcare costs as we were low income.

By the time mine were in school I'd gotten into management and owned my diary, I've had a lot of flexibility during the childcare years and mostly WFH to be really present for my kids.

I'm now preparing for director level roles by which time both of mine will be in secondary school and I won't be doing a school run, I will be able to up my office hours (but remaining public sector as I do still want a good work life balance for myself, and my teens).

I think there is a common misconception on here that there is a formula to success and if you miss a step you're out of the game, but I think there a loads of different ways to do it, I've very much enjoyed my 20s and 30s, my youngest will turn 18 when I am 44, I'm really excited what my 40s will bring also!

There are so few older women in senior positions my workplace. It’s really, really sad and disincentivising. (I am in my early 50s, and near the top, but not at the top).

There has been a big push for “gender balance” which means in the most senior positions we now have nearly 50:50 … but it is all men in their mid-late 50s and women in late 30s/early 40s.

I feel like I am part of a lost generation for women. We were hugely affected by discrimination and misogyny in the workplace, and that has impacted timing of careers (missed promotions, having to switch industry, childcare issues etc). We have now been overtaken by the generation below who had less of those issues. I am delighted for them, but sad for my peers. I have been told several times, in formal feedback, that I would have been promoted to the most senior level if I were younger.

I've also retrained after years of MW admin jobs. I had my children mid to late twenties and I didn't really have much ambition before them, although I did have a degree. Now I'm on my way to a career and a good salary but it's not been easy! My child fee colleagues can spend a lot of time on their assignments whilst I have to write mine on Sundays when the kids are with their dad. It's so hard to fit everything in. I have a full time job in social care, two kids, one has SEN and ASD, a house and I have to write a dissertation and complete a portfolio in one year.
The advantages of doing it older is that life actually does teach you a lot. I am an expert by experience in being poor, being on UC, being a carer, being underestimated by those in services. I feel like that alone gives me confidence.
The downside is that qualifying at nearly 40 limits the level I can eventually get to. I work with people who are younger than me on higher salaries, that's just life. They started their professional careers at 23! Obviously they'll be more experienced than me. I have to be qualified for two years before I can do the next training to increase my salary, and I wonder if they'll think it's worth it.
There's also all the difficulties of navigating childcare and retraining/ being new when you really want to impress people with your work ethic but your kid is ill or breakfast club is full. But this happens to child free people too.
Essentially go for it!

There are so few older women in senior positions my workplace. It’s really, really sad and disincentivising.

I can't quite remember them to quote them but the stats of women leaving the workplace during menopause are really quite startling. I know people are starting to tire about the menopause talk but there's a lot to discuss in this space to support women.

Now in early 60s and 2 dc off at uni, I made sure I was at top of my profession at 41 before having them.

While I agree, I also think there is a risk of reducing it to just that argument. While some will leave due to menopause, it’s still only a percentage.

And in my case, maybe I need to restate it with the right emphasis:

“There are so few older women in senior positions in my workplace.”

Writing is a great thing to do to grow your creative life, but it's extremely unlikely to boost your income.

Yep I had my DD15 a bit later I'm now 53. When she was about 4 I just went for it. I'd always had an ok role in tech earning about 70k a year, but I absolutely went for it and tripled my salary in that time and now have a senior role.

What I did was get a live in nanny. It was expensive but really helped me put the hours in when I needed to.

Oh and I'm a lone parent. No support.

You go for it OP!!

Tech also is a great place to reenter the workplace, even in the other functions as they are really trying to drive over the female average of around 25%

@DangerMouseAndPenfoldx I was trying to support your post. How does my post lose any value when considering senior positions only? If women are leaving the workplace in their droves at menopausal age, be that due to the menopause or otherwise, it will likely have a negative impact across all levels of seniority?