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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset dp's boss can't give him leave to attend my 12 week scan?

27 replies

oliviaelanasmum · 22/04/2008 15:27

The scan date only came through today but as im not sure of dates and im around 13 weeks already the scan is for this thursday.
Dp rang work as soon as we recieved the letter and told them but they have since got back to him and said he cant have the time off as there is no cover. This is the first scan he will have missed and i have asked my grandparents to drive me as we live in a rural area and i cant drive. Just that dp wont be there

OP posts:
2point4kids · 22/04/2008 15:28

Its a shame, but not the end of the world.
Chin up.
Bring him home a piccie and he can go to the next one with you.

DrNortherner · 22/04/2008 15:34

Understand why you are dissapointed but it's not teh end of teh world is it?

Original poster
oliviaelanasmum · 22/04/2008 15:36

I know it's not the end of the world, just wanted him to be there for moral support, i have miscarried 2 babies previously so the reassurance of a scan is always a big thing for us.

OP posts:
DrNortherner · 22/04/2008 15:41

You'll have your grandparents there at least so you won't be alone.

My dh would struggle to get time off for this sort of thing too.

hatrick · 22/04/2008 15:46

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Original poster
oliviaelanasmum · 22/04/2008 15:49

My nan is going to come in with me and my grandad will look after dd3 whilst im in there. I dont think i would have been so bad if my mum could have come but she is taking my other daughters away for the weekend so cant make it. I will have to remember plenty of pound coins for the pictures!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 22/04/2008 15:50

DH hasn't been able to make it to ANY of the scans I had after DD1.

He had to take off work to look after other children.

It's not the end of the world.

hatrick · 22/04/2008 15:52

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expatinscotland · 22/04/2008 15:53

I was at the three scans I had to confirm my missed m/c alone.

There's no help for it if you have no family or anyone to look after your other children for some.

hatrick · 22/04/2008 16:02

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katebee · 22/04/2008 16:36

I think his work are most unreasonable. It is really special seeing ones baby for the first time. Also in the unlikely event of there being anything wrong you would not want to be there without DP. Maybe he could tell his work that he has to be there as you are unable to drive? Or is there any chance of ringing the hospital and changing the time to one your DP can do? (if he can make later the same day or next day).

fieryfiery · 22/04/2008 16:42

Oh, that's mean, isn't it?
Can he take annual leave-the morning/afternoon off?

needahand · 22/04/2008 16:44

ohh I think your DH is coming down with man flu

umberella · 22/04/2008 16:47

I was under the impression that dp/h's employers were obliged to give them time off for appointments during pregnancy actually.

Perhaps you should find out for sure?

umberella · 22/04/2008 16:53

erm, just checked on that and apparently they don't have to give them time off.

Oops - DP attended all my appointments on that basis

expatinscotland · 22/04/2008 17:54

Wow! What a great surgery, hat.

I don't know anyone who could come along and have no family here.

Don't want to impose, anyhow.

It's not bad at all.

I will probably give birth on my own as well, this time round.

C'est la vie, especially when you have other kids.

hatrick · 22/04/2008 18:28

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expatinscotland · 22/04/2008 18:29

can't afford a doula.

if it's during the day DH can wait in the waiting area with the girls.

if it's night then he'll need to stay here across the water and i'll phone when it's all over.

expatinscotland · 22/04/2008 18:29

i'm sure it'll be fine. i'm a big girl.

kerryk · 22/04/2008 18:34

but expat who will you dig your nails into and hurl abuse at?

tassisssss · 22/04/2008 18:36

i would be GUTTED

so sorry

expatinscotland · 22/04/2008 18:37

i've asked for epidural pain relief asap.

otherwise, i'm just going to have to suck it up.

expatinscotland · 22/04/2008 18:38

dh has never seen DD2, the missed m/c or this one on scan.

oh, i just remembered, with DD1, he didn't get to see her at the 12 week one, either. he had to work.

hatrick · 22/04/2008 18:38

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expatinscotland · 22/04/2008 18:39

yes, IIRC hunker went alone.

hey, it's been done before! i won't be the first or the last!

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