To be fed of of vile comments re disability and pip- so come on those people suggest a job for me.

[Laughydodo]

Named changes for this

Fed up of the vile comments about disability including on mumsnet.
(I know it’s a minority on here). Especially against those who claim PIP.

Fed up of feeling like a second class citizen because I claim benefits.

Fed up of people saying my mental health will improve if I am at work.

Fed up of disability top trumps with people saying things like- I have this , this and this disability and I manage to work.

Fed up that some people seem be hoping that Pip is abolished and then people like us will have to find another way to support ourselves. Also so fearful of this happening.

I clung onto work for years with having epilepsy and fibromyalgia. Fighting to stay in while employers were trying everything to get rid of me. I would be let go from one job on health grounds only to start the process again and it end the same way.

I now claim pip and esa as i have up to 20 seizures a week. Half of which I lose my memory and speech (I don’t even recognise my husband at times) and are totally wiped out for half a day at least . Would love some of the smug arseholes that’s seem to think everyone can work find someone who is willing to employ me. Oh and I piss myself as well and lose control of my bowels with many of my seizures. This is without the pain of fibro coming into it all.

So come on then these people on here who think all disabled people should work- suggest all the jobs that I can do that will benefit my mental health so I won’t be a burden on the state. Would you honestly be happy to employ me?

Sorry but the self righteous comments from people who dont have a clue is really starting to boil my piss. Oh and one day it might happen to them. I was 22 when I developed epilepsy, 30 when I got fibro after having glandular fever. I would not wish this one anyone obviously but people seem to forget that disability can happen at any time.

So waiting for the jobs suggestions to begin and the list of employers that would employ me-

Really?? I think I'd prefer the anxiety and ADHD and that is from someone experienced with having more than one family member with epilepsy!

I had to read your post several times because I couldn't believe your ignorance!!!

Not really. Anxiety can be crippling and ADHD, in severe cases, can make it impossible to focus on tasks, therefore unable to work. Mild anxiety and ADHD would be unlikely to prevent you from working, though. How disabling these conditions are depends on the severity and whether or not they respond to medication.
Do you think that mental health problems are not "real" illnesses?

I agree. She meant well and I was not saying otherwise.

Maybe an at home job selling crafts or something like that like a hobby

@XChrome ❤️

OMG you do not have a fucking clue! My sibling's life has been ruined by epilepsy!! Not able to go anywhere or do anything in their teens/20s/30s! Never able to learn to drive, no opportunity to have a relationship, no children! Other three siblings went to uni, this one couldn't. Just about managed to finish school before the seizures got really bad!! Regular seizures both petit mals in the hundreds in a day, and grand mal, where they were kicking, jerking, foaming at the mouth, eyes rolling, and needed to be prevented from swallowing their tongue, pissing themselves and running away. Confused for hours after a fit. No warning fits, dropped to the ground in an instant. And no medication that could control it.

It has to be one of the worst things ever! And now me and one sibling (the other cunt walked away) are left responsible for this sibling's wellbeing and have to take them to medical appointments and phone every other night!!

@LoremIpsumCici I agree completely. I think it’s highly unlikely that people who meet the high threshold for PIP are able to chill at home doing what they like, when they like. They’re seriously ill people.

Great post, OP.
MN is vile or stuff like this.
I was told by some that that she was "disgusted" that I was on UC for MH reasons.
I was told in other threads that I was lying to my GP, getting anti-depressants and throwing them in a bin... and claiming UC. I was "self cured" and lying to the DWP so I could stay on benefits.
Another poster was insistent that I could start a 'coffee van'. I can't drive, I can't budget (other people do it for me), and I have zero interest in catering.

My last paid job was in 2010. I am in my 40s and my only real work experience is cleaning jobs.. and I was fired from most of them... including a family owned company. I burn out in every job I do. I burn out just doing house work.

My job now is keeping well enough to stay out of police cells, 136 units, A&E, and the MH system.

OP I'm absolutely sure you'd rather a healthy life over benefits any day of the week. Please don't let the few ignorant arseholes make you feel down. You are more than entitled to get the benefits you do. As are lots of others.

Hello op, I get you and I feel the exact same. I think one of the hardest parts about being ill is accepting it and releasing that life as you once knew it will never be the same again. Do you mind me asking how old you are?

I am 46, i have fibromyalgia which I’ve suffered with since 2005 after a traumatic event but was not officially diagnosed until 2018. It’s getting worse and I’m so sick and tired of being sick and tired! And so many people don’t believe it exists which is an insult to those of us whose lives are ruined by it. I am the black sheep of the family because everyone else has great careers and I haven’t been able to work in years which really upsets me. I also have EDS and high blood pressure, ADHD, OCD and anxiety ( all diagnosed ) and struggle hugely with life but i can’t even begin to imagine having epilepsy with fibromyalgia, it must be so scary.

however, despite all of the above I am grateful for everything I’ve got and I’m grateful to be alive. I take pleasure in the most simple things. I have 2 amazing dc who both have autism and severe anxiety and i have to keep strong for them and I’ve learnt it’s ok to just “be” rather than trying to do a million things and feel guilty for what I can’t do. My previously high standards have taken a nosedive but so what!!

i am here if you ever want to chat or whatever. I don’t sleep much but I nap when I can, I would be a terrible employee right now and especially during one of our fibro flares. Please don’t worry about what other people think, it’s taken me a while but I’m almost there. Nobody knows your pain like you do. Sending you the biggest hug 🤗 also apologies for the long post.

🩷 Right back at ya, love.
As long as people are kind, they can understand when it is explained to them. If they aren't kind they don't want to understand and will dismiss any information that does not fit with their prejudices.

What assholes those people are!
I'm definitely going to be calling that kind of bullshit out if I happen to see it.

What on earth are you so upset about what I said? I most certainly wasn't dismissing how serious epilepsy is and I'm sorry about your sib.
However, it's not the Pain Olympics.
Why are you being so competitive about it?

The posts on here are sickening - I try and avoid them as much as I can because I know the comments will include plenty that are judgemental and ignorant.

I work (I’m self-employed) but only because I put in a Herculean effort and tbh, I’m damaging my physical and mental health.

DP had a well-paid professional job and suddenly collapsed at work two years ago. He’s been told he won’t be fit for work ever again and just to focus on trying to establish some quality of life (as his neurological condition is just all-encompassing and ruins everything).

I care for my DM who has cerebral palsy, as well as my two DC who are autistic. They are both home educated because of lack of special school places. DS has high needs - he’s still in nappies at age 15. I’m up with the DC til 3-4am every night. DS won’t ever live independently and I’m not sure about DD - there’s a very good chance she’ll be with us for life too.

I’m also autistic and have ADHD. The latter is what allows me to work and function on very little sleep - but it’s really bad for my health and I’m chronically sleep deprived. I’m just exhausted and there’s no end in sight.

I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this before I break. But we get Universal Credit including LCWRA due to DP’s illness. We had to fight for that and it took over 12 months to be awarded.

Benefits have kept us afloat even though we’d never claimed before. I will carry on working for as much as I can but it’s never going to be enough to support the family and pay all the bills, not alongside my caring responsibilities as well.

So the snipey comments about claiming benefits and disability benefits just infuriate me - there isn’t a magic solution for everyone. I never begrudged benefit claimants before I became one myself and I can’t understand the mean-minded attitudes.

People have no idea what it’s like.

yanbu, I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I’ve just been diagnosed with Parkinson’s and I currently work in the care sector and am so scared for my future when I’m physically not able to work 😢

That sounds utterly bloody awful and it’s so unfair you’ve got stuck with such a debilitating condition. I hope whatever benefits you are entitled to help to make life a little bit more manageable for you.

I think though virtually everyone would understand why you can’t work with something like epilepsy. I think it’s more likely people would not always understand why you can’t work with something like adhd, depression & anxiety or something like fibromyalgia. With mental health and a lot of chronic conditions it’s made very challenging to help people understand by us using all the same language to talk about very mild things that bear little resemblance to the illness people who are on disability benefits suffer. How often does someone say they have anxiety about something when they mean they feel a bit nervous or they are depressed when they mean they are feeling a bit down or sad that day or that they are exhausted when really they mean they’ve had a long week and are tired. It sort of takes away the language to describe being really ill because people think of the very mild version that you can just push through vs understanding you mean you are really suffering from anxiety to point you have physical symptoms and can’t switch off stressful/invasive thoughts or are fighting to not be suicidal because life feels so utterly bleak (regardless of the objective reality) or you are sleeping fine but have so little energy it’s like those couple of times you had to be up many nights in a row with a newborn and were so utterly weary you feel like you couldn’t function but instead of being for a few nights as a one off that felt pretty horrific it’s every single day. When the language to try and describe conditions is used for hyperbole regularly it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that’s all it means.

That sounds awful, I would say ignore them but I realise it’s hard.

Have you looked into network marketing? People on here hate multi level marketing but actually if you pick one with a good product it can be a very cheap and easy way to start your own business and have all the back office stuff done for you. Also by building a team if can eventually become quite residual. If you put hard work into it at the times you can manage to focus you will also be able to take plenty of time off. Don’t rule ir our, just make sure it’s a good product and not one where there any weird targets or additional things to buy. You want one with a flat fee that has no hidden extras. Read the book Beach Money by Jordan Adler which will give you an idea of how powerful and egalitarian network marketing can be.

People clearly aren't talking about you OP and I'm pretty sure you know that.

There's an awful lot of people out there determined to live life on benefits and who see falsely claiming PIP as some sort of accomplishment. Those are the people who anger is directed towards and you should be angry too because they are making it harder for people like you to get the support you need.

It's not a minority at all on Mumsnet, unfortunately. It's gutting to read.

I'm not disabled myself but in my family unit there are various mental health conditions. We would likely qualify but I can't even fathom putting myself through the harrowing process. Even diagnosis can take years, let alone treatment.

It's just a weird sad quirk of human psychology; people feel like you are getting "free money" and don't stop for a second to think what life must actually be like for those able to claim, and fancy that they'd do the same if they could, not realising how lucky they are to be able bodied and able minded enough to support themselves, even if that too is hard sometimes.

So clueless and callous, and on the internet it's even worse because people will say shit they would never dream of saying in real life.

The rate of fraud for PIP is so low, it has been recorded as 0%.

And please do not get involved in MLM things for fuck sake.

That's obviously incorrect.

Nope.

The DWP considers that the rate of fraud in relation to personal independence payment (PIP) is so small that it is assessed at 0% in the 2024 “Fraud and error in the benefits system annual report”.

www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/news/zero-percent-fraud-rate-for-pip,-dwp-figures-show#:~:text=However%2C%20even%20this%20has%20decreased,For%20UC%20it%20was%2012.9%25.

The DWP's own figures show that fraud for PIP is indeed pretty much zero - https://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/news/zero-percent-fraud-rate-for-pip,-dwp-figures-show. If you'd ever been through a PIP assessment you'd understand why. Fraudulent awards are vanishingly rare.

I totally agree with you, both about the work world and ridiculous comments on MN. It's too late for a long response but just wanted to say I support you wholeheartedly. I'm also disabled and have had to listen to the most awful tosh about it.