Twitter Porn girls

[ClearB21]

So yes I am unreasonable because I went through his internet history and seen that he often logs on to Twitter and then will search a girls name followed by porn. So I got suspicious. He's never mentioned he has a Twitter account why is he on it so much. And I have Twitter, I know sometimes porn things come up on there. So it turns out he's just following porn and sex accounts on Twitter. Then he finds a girl he likes and searches them on the internet for like porn videos and pictures. I'm struggling to understand how this is different to Only Fans (except for paying for content). It's not a him problem it's a me problem. Because it makes me feel like I'm not enough.
And to top it off I can't even speak to him about it without blowing myself up for bloody snooping in the first place. So feel free to tell me how unreasonable I'm being please 😂

Also I should just add, he works away and is only looking at this kind of thing when he's not at home. In case that makes me less unreasonable

This is a really depressing thread for how many women are expressing views that women somehow are not permitted to get upset by their male partner leering and wanking over other women as 'that's just what men do and we need to accept it.'

Its a men's world alright.

No wonder so many men seem to have a low opinion of women when so much of their shit is tolerated.

I could be wrong, but I suspect many posters on this thread are men.

Bollocks, he’s not interested in humanising her, her personality or feelings. He just fancies these women and wants to wank over them. If this is what counts to humanise a woman in the world today we’re fucked, literally.

I think that’s the problem with looking at phones. Often with men it’s a case of seek and you shall find!

@SinisterBumFacedCat exactly 😂 I am under no illusions that this isn't what he's doing, he's not searching them to find out their personalities and at the end of the day they are sex workers. They aren't attempting to build relationships with men online it's their job, the videos and photos he's looking at are to make money and he's looking at it on free sites so he's not ethically doing it.

God I wish I'd never posted who knew porn invoked such passionate replies from some, I was more interested in how to bring this up with him without blowing myself up for snooping 😂

If you don't accept porn use in the relationship then you need to tell him you saw and it needs to stop. I personally would be just about OK with this, if it was just having a wank to vids/pics. But if he's actually speaking to them and stuff I kind of find that to be a bit far. Like he's forming personal relationships with these women (however fake it is from their side).
But that's me. You've every right to place your boundaries where you see fit.
I think either way you should tell him how you feel.

Ignorance is bliss is all I'll say

I was more interested in how to bring this up with him without blowing myself up for snooping

Basically you can't.

You seem terribly worried about not offending his delicate feelings.

@IcedPurple because I don't want to be the "baddy" in this situation 😂 everyone's who said it is right, I'd be annoyed if he'd looked through my history. There's nothing to find but it is an invasion of privacy and I shouldn't have done it. It was my own insecurities which made me look and I can admit that but I don't think men (generalising) understand that

Well, you're going to have to decide if you feel his behaviour is worth confronting him with. Or not.

If you think it is, then I can't see how you can confront him without it being obvious that you were 'snooping'. Maybe you can make up some story about how his phone rang when he wasn't there and you thought you'd answer it on his behalf, and in so doing somehow came across his porn use. I doubt he'd buy it though. So if you decide his behaviour is unacceptable, you're probably going to have to own up to 'snooping'.

Does it really matter if you're the 'baddy'? He's hardly purer than the driven snow himself.

God I wish I'd never posted who knew porn invoked such passionate replies from some,

Well, ask yourself why? Dig a bit into what people are saying about it, why they are passionate about it?

What's the point of bringing it up? You've already made all the excuses possible for him, what could he possibly add to put himself even more in the right in your eyes? You've already decided that you're the one at fault here and your biggest worry is him knowing you snooped, so that's easily resolved. Say nothing and he'll never know will he? And you can just carry on feeling bad about yourself, worrying if you're good enough, trying to keep him happy and putting up with whatever he fancies doing next. Living the dream.

Why are you going to bring it up at all? What kind of response are you hoping to get from him? An apology? A promise that he will stop? How will you police this promise? More snooping? Are you going to attempt to "understand" why he follows lots of other naked women online?

As for having to snoop, I am married we both have each others pass codes and are free to look at each others phone if we want.

I think it is called mutual respect and trust.

We have always had a fantastic sex life, never watched porn together, we are our own porn. We do not have to exploit other humans in the seedy sex trade.

My husband has in the past declined to go to Stag do’s that involve seedy behaviour.

He respects women.

If he did not i would not be with him.

Forget society forget what other people accept in their relationships.

Do you go searching for specific people to masturbate over? Would doing that feel right to you? Would it feel loving towards your partner would it feel "innocent"?
Does your partner doing that make you feel cherished,loved,valued chosen?

It really can be that simple. Sit down and figure out your boundaries for your relationship.Then communicate them. It's his choice what he chooses. But to choose pornography over a real relationship isn't healthy. It can be dressed up in need for privacy or masturbation all anyone likes. It's unnecessary and destroys the relationship. At the end of the day its still a choice.

@Thegreenhandbag Well said

i think your comprehension skills are lacking. My comment is pointing out that she perceives what he is doing as humanising the women - she is jealous now she sees them as real women. I’m not suggesting for one moment that he sees them as fully human. The OP is a good example of the stereotypical socialisation differences between males and females.

So you’re passionate enough about it to seek the views of others, but when those views don’t reinforce what you want to hear, you get annoyed?

You really are deep in delusion.

Most men use business trips as an excuse for shagging about, so your DH having a wank in his hotel room sort of pales in comparison.

Stats on that?

This is from the school of "at least he's not fucking other women/using prostitutes/beating you" low bar approach to relationships.

Do you go searching for specific people to masturbate over?

Exactly.

It's not using a bit of random, impersonal porn as a masturbation aid.

Exactly.

I think that they are funded to try to cause trouble, but are mostly women. Depressing whether women or men.

Well, that's the problem isn't it? If you accept that your partner is going to use porn, and let him think you are ok with it, where do you draw the line? It becomes increasingly difficult to draw any lines at all. And if you send him 'spicy bits' you should expect them to reach a wider audience.

Quite frankly it's total hypocrisy to say you are happy for him to watch porn, that you watch porn yourself, but you are upset because he is watching Twitter porn.
You are happy for him to get sexual gratification from women being abused and violated and exploited but hey, don't watch Twitter porn because it upsets me? Total hypocrisy.

That's the thing about porn use: it escalates. Users have to find different, and usually more and more extreme types of porn to continue to to get off on it. It's an escalating habit.

I think you gave up any right to be upset by his use of this form of porn the moment you embraced porn as part of your relationship.

Isn't it a bit like having your fav film star or something? Like, if you had a crush on say, Chris Hemsworth, and decided to snoop/view a bit? Except porn version 😂

Does he know you watch? In which case he prob thinks you're ok with it... Maybe start a subtle chat about what he's into?