Twitter Porn girls

[ClearB21]

So yes I am unreasonable because I went through his internet history and seen that he often logs on to Twitter and then will search a girls name followed by porn. So I got suspicious. He's never mentioned he has a Twitter account why is he on it so much. And I have Twitter, I know sometimes porn things come up on there. So it turns out he's just following porn and sex accounts on Twitter. Then he finds a girl he likes and searches them on the internet for like porn videos and pictures. I'm struggling to understand how this is different to Only Fans (except for paying for content). It's not a him problem it's a me problem. Because it makes me feel like I'm not enough.
And to top it off I can't even speak to him about it without blowing myself up for bloody snooping in the first place. So feel free to tell me how unreasonable I'm being please 😂

Also I should just add, he works away and is only looking at this kind of thing when he's not at home. In case that makes me less unreasonable

My issue isn't with the actual porn,

It should be.

I watch porn,

Do a bit of research about the industry before your next view.

People, even married ones, are entitled to some privacy. Put it out of your mind and stop snooping. As a porn user you are in no position to criticise.

Yes. I hear what you're saying. It feels like a sign that he's formed some sort of imaginary emotional connection with them.

The problem is it’s so freely available.

And it’s become normalised.

Before men had to go to the newsagent and reach to the top shelves. Or buy a video from a postal place.

But now it’s there at the touch of a button.

Its like free food, comforting, enjoyable, entertaining.

Its like having an extra McDonald’s I guess when you may not really need one.

Theres no way I’d send spicy bits to anyone. What if you break up?!

Anywar, it’s depressing but apparently this is progress.

no wonder the birth rate is going down.

Funny how Elon complains about this but doesn’t link porn usage to deteriorating sex lives across the world.

Ultimately you can’t have you cake and eat it but you’re swimming against and ocean tide.

It’s rather bleak. This is what it does. Makes women sad and feeling unattractive and like they aren’t enough.

And men once again, are winning. Except it will be their downfall too in the long run but they can’t see if for wanking to anything and everything.

It’s a shame every woman has to police her DH these days. And then feel shit about it.

I’m astounded that you’re perfectly fine with porn up until the point he actually humanises someone. That’s what you’re saying - as soon as the woman has an identity, a personality and emotions then it’s bad. But as long as she is just a bunch of disposable orifices for your partner’s use then it’s totally fine.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Girl … you don’t need to accept a man who watches porn. That bullshit has moved on and we’ve moved passed being told it’s ‘harmless’ and ‘normal’ and ‘all men watch it’. No. No they fucking don’t and you can have your bar.

Oh give over.

Women have been socialised, for decades if not longer to accept this from men. And they’ve also been socialised into misogyny and to work out how it fits into the narrative of their relationship. It’s bullshit and she’s a victim of what she’s been taught is acceptable and what she’s taught to tolerate.

Perhaps they should stop putting themselves out there then..their choice.

That’s the problem though, very often it’s not choice at all. Surely people know about the industry? Even at surface level that’s quite basic knowledge…

You should have known not to post about porn on mumsnet 😂

It’s just porn and it doesn’t mean anything, don’t go looking through his private things because if you didn’t you’d still otherwise be happily married, yes?

It really isn't. A lot of women also look at porn, as do couples. If it's not for you then fine. And if it's a red line for you then also fine. But you cannot say men who watch porn all have a certain attitude to women, simply isn't true.

I know what you want to hear. That all men do it, it's normal, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you or find you attractive, he knows the girls aren't real life, men are very visual, work on your self esteem or youll drive him away being controlling...bla bla bla. But frankly it's all BS IMHO, designed to make women shut up and put up while men act like sleezy creeps, contributing to an industry and culture that harms all women. You have the right to set standards for the behaviour you want from the man you share your life with. If not looking at porn matters to you, tell him. Then one of you will have to give way. Don't assume that has to be you.

OP why did you check his search history are you suspicious of him? I would never do that to my partner because I don't suspect him of bad behaviour so is there more to this? I would be really upset with my partner if they did it to me too.

I do agree with you that the personal element of what he's doing seems a next level compared to going to a general porn site and I think that would bother me too even though I am not generally against watching porn. But saying that, even when people go to a porn site they are looking for particular things that they find attractive so in maybe it's not that different really.

Some of you have really low standards if you are saying "Watch it together it will reframe your feelings" Yuck

I think what you are saying is nonsense, zebedee. There was a 2020 study done which showed a significant link between watching porn and behaving in a very negative way to women. I can link if you like.

Porn is almost entirely used by men. Few women go for it, other than brief curiosity when young about what it is about or being manipulated to think they "should" like it as it is "harmless fun".

Modern porn is mostly utterly grim. There is so much utterly disgusting illegal porn easy to access that it is twisting minds.

And it is also now being accessed by kids because of cognitively challenged parents who think it is harmless fun, and coolz parenz don't supervize and all that, and it is having a massively negative effect on how boys and girls relate to each other and their expectations.

It is a him problem, not a you problem, OP.
Just out of interest, what porn do you enjoy watching, and what exactly about it do you really enjoy? Or is it just something you do to show your partner you are cool about it all? If you split up with him, on your nights alone at home, would it be just you, a glass of something and a bit of harmless porn on the screen keeping you company?

That's really grim. It's not just porn. Those are real women, other women, that he is seeking out and sexualising. There seems to be a growing idea that porn is "just" videos on the internet, as they appear out of nowhere, hurt nobody and never mean anything at all. But it's bollocks - these are real people, and sexual activity produces real hormonal responses. It's never "just porn".

I wouldn't accept this I would not be with someone who watches it

This is a really insightful comment. I have never thought about it in relation to porn before.

Its often disgusted me when women on here who form ‘open’ relationships with their boyfriends try to limit their boyfriends to just using other women as orifices to stick their cock in, and then get all upset when their boyfriend actually starts to like the person attached to those orifices. It’s disgusting when men dehumanize woman like that and also disgusting when women encourage men to dehumanize women like that.

Though I’m against porn full stop.

Women need to stop trying to be cool and start getting a bit more angry about this shit.

I would absolutely not be with any man who uses porn, prostitution or strip clubs. These women are vulnerable, often abused, trafficked or have drug dependency.

Porn hub had to remove 70% of its content over the last year as it was deemed non consensual or under age.

There is a direct correlation between this and the rise of sexual assaults, including in our secondary schools.

Our bodies are not consumables.

The biggest lie ever sold to us was liberal feminism, that "sex work" or porn is empowering.

It isn't. The only people it benefits are men.

Old school, second wave feminists were right.

exactly this

I think that's where my jealousy comes from, I send him "spicy" bits while he's away. Not all the time cos let's be honest who can be arsed but now I don't even want to.

Stop sending him 'spicy bits'. You could break up and he'll still have those images which he could share.

Can he not go a few days without looking at 'spicy bits' whether yours or those of strangers? How pathetic.

99% of people would get divorced over this because the vast majority of men do it. I even saw my boss doing it.

That's what I'm struggling to understand, watch porn, take it for what it is, but don't "like" the "creators" enough to search specifically for them. Is that unreasonable?

I think that is unreasonable. Basically, you're upset because he's acknowledging that porn creators are individual human beings and not just a faceless set of body parts. I personally think his approach to porn is probably a bit healthier than just searching for a specific sex act or body type as if the performers aren't really people.

Ahh, I'm sorry you know such horrible shitty men.

And I'm sorry that you think women who end up being in porn for one reason or another, don't deserve any financial remuneration for men using them as wank fodder.

What a shitty outlook on life.