Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this a case of ‘off rolling?’

73 replies

Tiredsenparent · 02/10/2024 22:03

DD6 is in mainstream primary. She has an Ehcp and her primary needs are social and emotional. No cognitive dysfunction. The main reason she sometimes* *struggles to access work is emotional overwhelm. She can become very upset. I believe school are ignoring her triggers/allowing her to spiral at school to prove a point. I think she should be able stay where she is in mainstream school with her friends and sibling. She loves school and has made progress academically.

When she gets overwhelmed and upset staff fan around her with no real strategies to calm her so they call me. I’m called minimum of 3 times a week into school, they ultimately leave it up to me, something along the lines of ‘totally up to you mum but she was really distressed’ and I don’t doubt it but every time I arrive she is calm and she’s usually got her bag and coat on ready to go.

She feels punished when I’ve collected her and tells me that the teachers think she’s naughty. I’ve expressed my concerns and asked for a meeting, still awaiting one.

yesterday the same thing happens yet when I arrive headteacher asks me sheepishly if I think this is the right school for my daughter and if I’d considered moving her to a smaller school? I regrettably said I had been looking around at others and her eyes lit up. She seemed relieved at the thought I might move her. I’ve since sought advice from a Sen caseworker who said she didn’t like the sound of how it’s being dealt with and moving DD should be a last resort.

i feel as though the multiple phone calls to collect and the suggestion about moving schools is us being backed into a corner/forced out? Is this a case of attempting to off roll her?

OP posts:
AlertCat · 02/10/2024 22:18

Maybe. I would want to know how the school think they are meeting her EHCP targets- it doesn’t sound as if they are trying to at the moment. What strategies work, are they using those? I wouldn’t be very impressed given what you’ve said here.

Sweetaschocolate · 02/10/2024 22:23

1 is her EHCP fit for purpose and are they following it?
2 if it isn't ask for an interm review now.
3 What would the school do if you refused to pick her up? (Im not telling you to do this just what would happen).

2blueyand1bingo · 02/10/2024 22:25

The issue is it is not as simple as that with an EHCP.
your first step here would be call a early urgent EHCP review.
If the school can not meet her needs then they have to say they can not meet her needs and explain to the LA why ! They hate doing this.
this will then give you all a chance to see what needs to be put in place to make this placement possible or whether actually she needs a more specialist provision.

CabraCadabra · 02/10/2024 22:25

Yes. They shouldn't be calling you. Sounds they're informally (unlawfully!) excluding her too?

Tiredsenparent · 02/10/2024 22:25

Thanks for your reply, her echo is currently being renewed as her last one isn’t a true reflection of her current needs. She wasn’t awarded a high band of funding. Ideally I believe she would cope much better with a one to one but I’m under no illusion that this is an easily achievable outcome because of funding.

there’s definitely more the school can do as echoed by Sen caseworker who is involved with the school and my DDS ehcp.

OP posts:
Tiredsenparent · 02/10/2024 22:26

I believe they are informally excluding her. They make it feel like it’s my choice to take her home but ultimately they’ve called me to collect her and got her bag and coat on?

OP posts:
2blueyand1bingo · 02/10/2024 22:26

Tiredsenparent · 02/10/2024 22:25

Thanks for your reply, her echo is currently being renewed as her last one isn’t a true reflection of her current needs. She wasn’t awarded a high band of funding. Ideally I believe she would cope much better with a one to one but I’m under no illusion that this is an easily achievable outcome because of funding.

there’s definitely more the school can do as echoed by Sen caseworker who is involved with the school and my DDS ehcp.

Hi
did you attend a review for the updated EHCP that is in process ?

Hercisback1 · 02/10/2024 22:27

Is the EHCP working? It sounds like either they aren't following it, or they are, and the provision isn't enough for her.
You need to try and find out the truth.

She may benefit from a smaller school with smaller classes. On the other hand, you may have the same issues and less money to provide support.

Butterflystar76 · 02/10/2024 22:27

I would say them asking you to take her home is illegal suspension…. Tell them that next time there is an issue you’ll come abf calm and then expect her to stay, with their support

Tiredsenparent · 02/10/2024 22:27

The review meeting is due to happen in the next month or so. There is a backlog unfortunately but I will be attending

OP posts:
2blueyand1bingo · 02/10/2024 22:30

The issue is here without the details of EHCP it’s hard to understand fully what’s happening.
when the draft returns you need to make sure her 1-1 hours are quantified in section F with no wishy washy words.
it is down the the LA to make sure that the ehcp requirements are being met and so if the school can not meet her needs on the current level of funding and the funding they receive does not cover the EHCP then the school need to in conversations with the LA explaining that the provision is not met due to funding.

Tiredsenparent · 02/10/2024 22:30

I really don’t want to move her as she would only be moving to another mainstream school and I think it will massively impact her self esteem and she already feels like she’s being punished when sent home

OP posts:
2blueyand1bingo · 02/10/2024 22:32

If the school want her to move them they are the ones in the review that have to declare they can not meet her needs ( schools don’t like doing this )
then the LA and school need to discuss the reasons as to why they can not meet her needs and what needs to be put in place for them to be able to do so. X

stichguru · 02/10/2024 22:33

I work in FE so a bit different, but we do have some 18-25 year olds who are still under an EHCP. What is in her EHCP? Is it still relevant? If so, are the school doing all the things that the EHCP says they should be doing? If it isn't still right, then there needs to be a proper review of it, with you, SENDCO and ideally class teacher/TA from the school and relevant person from the LA. There needs to be an update to her needs and a plan of how these needs are met. If the school really can't meet her needs, they need to give a detailed explanation of why, and need to work with the LA to put in place things on the EHCP that will enable them to meet your daughter's needs.

They can't just off role her. IF, in discussion with you and the LA, it was felt this school really can't meet her needs, then the LA is responsible for finding a school that can. However hopefully, with the right support her current school can meet her needs.

Neighboursfromhell · 02/10/2024 22:33

Those are illegal exclusions, absolutely shouldn't be happening. Contact your local sendiass

Sweetaschocolate · 02/10/2024 22:33

You need to be firm to the school and say you will not be picking her up unless you have paper work to say she has been suspended and why.
If the school can not meet need they need to say.
If they feel they need extra funding for more staff support then that needs to be said at the review.
My son has a 1 to 1 full time, they really do not like children to have them due to independence (cost) but if he didn't he would have to go to a sen school which would cost more.

qualifiedazure · 02/10/2024 22:36

I'd email the school/SENCO and say that sending her home when she is emotionally dysregulated feels like a punishment, and you only want them to call you if she is physically hurt or ill.
You believe they are able to calm her in school as she is always calm by the time you collect, so they need to keep her until the end of the day.

Tiredsenparent · 02/10/2024 22:36

Sweetaschocolate · 02/10/2024 22:33

You need to be firm to the school and say you will not be picking her up unless you have paper work to say she has been suspended and why.
If the school can not meet need they need to say.
If they feel they need extra funding for more staff support then that needs to be said at the review.
My son has a 1 to 1 full time, they really do not like children to have them due to independence (cost) but if he didn't he would have to go to a sen school which would cost more.

Thanks for your reply

I think this is the case. She needs a 1 to 1 which I realise the LA need to provide funding for and I will make a point of this at the review meeting which is coming up

in the meantime I am drained by the constant back and forth with school and I feel like they are making life difficult so I take her out

OP posts:
2blueyand1bingo · 02/10/2024 22:36

Sweetaschocolate · 02/10/2024 22:33

You need to be firm to the school and say you will not be picking her up unless you have paper work to say she has been suspended and why.
If the school can not meet need they need to say.
If they feel they need extra funding for more staff support then that needs to be said at the review.
My son has a 1 to 1 full time, they really do not like children to have them due to independence (cost) but if he didn't he would have to go to a sen school which would cost more.

Yea this is the way which will move forward current mainstream say they can not meet her needs, the LA will request reasons and solutions which often is finances and would rather pay more towards the ehcp for the mainstream to keep them than relocate to a costing sen school.

you and the school need to be on the same page though before hand but it’s just better for the school to say “ we can not meet her needs in the current arrangement “ than a parent saying the school are not meeting the needs.

Tiredsenparent · 02/10/2024 22:40

When I told the school I thought a one to one would solve the issues (she just needs support from a person she trusts) I believe she would do brilliantly. Their response was there’s no such thing as a one to one anymore it just doesn’t happen

OP posts:
SendMeHomeNow · 02/10/2024 22:40

Tiredsenparent · 02/10/2024 22:40

When I told the school I thought a one to one would solve the issues (she just needs support from a person she trusts) I believe she would do brilliantly. Their response was there’s no such thing as a one to one anymore it just doesn’t happen

Total rubbish, 2 kids at my child’s old school have 1-2-1’s currently.

Tiredsenparent · 02/10/2024 22:41

They also told me the school environment is ‘just too loud and busy for her’ yet she happily wears ear defenders and copes well with them. She needs a few sensory breaks in the day to regulate which I don’t think is currently happening

OP posts:
SendMeHomeNow · 02/10/2024 22:41

Do they mean because it gets shared by 2 staff? 1 in the morning and 1 in the afternoon or 1 for 2 days and another for 3 days?

Sweetaschocolate · 02/10/2024 22:41

I know it's hard but you really need to let them either keep her in school and give her support or suspend her properly with all the paper work.
They can not keep expecting you to keep getting her as it's not helping your daughter and letting the school get away with it.
My son ended up very part time last year (after being suspended) but that was the last resort and the school did things by the book with our blessing but we were waiting for the extra funding for a 1 to 1.
It has really turned things around, not perfect but much better then last year.

2blueyand1bingo · 02/10/2024 22:41

Tiredsenparent · 02/10/2024 22:40

When I told the school I thought a one to one would solve the issues (she just needs support from a person she trusts) I believe she would do brilliantly. Their response was there’s no such thing as a one to one anymore it just doesn’t happen

This is a lie 😅 1-1s do happen and they are very much apart an EHCP if needed.
It can vary in hours and has to be quantified. My daughter has a full 1-1 32.5 hours a week.

Swipe left for the next trending thread