AIBU to think that.....

[BuckaDuck]

As an adult you shouldn't need your mum to complain for you?

Basically at work I told a none disabled adult to move their car from the disabled bay as a disabled staff member needed it. I wasn't shouting or even raising my voice but I was firm in my instruction & said that the disabled person had made a complaint to me.

They did move their car but not before telling me that they were not happy with how I spoke to them & that they were unwell today & there was no other parking (this was untrue there was many spaces in the over flow).

Several hours later her mum called my manager and made a complaint that I had upset her adult daughter.

AIBU to think my organisation should not accept the mums complaint but ask the staff member to complain herself?

YANBU. Does the disabled bay need a blue badge?

I hope your manager backed you up?

That's some family dysfunction going on. Of course the mother's complaint should not be taken into account.

Is it an official disabled parking spot? If so the employee using it can be fined so they should be grateful they were asked to move and not reported for using it without a blue badge.

YANBU. Does the disabled bay need a blue badge?
Yes it does & the sign saying so was on the wall directly in front of her car placed so that as she drove in to the space it was right in front of her eyes. The space is also clearly marked out in yellow.

I hope your manager backed you up?
I won't know until tomorrow.

If your org doesn't back you up then they are even dafter than the employee and their mummy.

Sorry I should add that the none disabled adult is also an employee.

This brings back memories of a dad bursting into a retail warehouse I was managing swearing and shouting at me because I had done a random staff search (within policy, with nothing 'banned' found, I searched everyone in the room) on his adult daughter 😂

And the mum who came in to defend her 19yo son who I'd banned from a convenience store because he'd filmed himself smashing into a display and causing around £200 of damage for YouTube. 'Oh yes, I saw the video - it was hilarious! He was just being a kid.'

And the mum who came in to demand why I hadn't hired her son who sat on his phone THROUGHOUT the interview.

Some parents don't raise their children correctly and then want to 'fix' their issues as adults. Also, never work in retail.

MoneyAndPercentages

😶

How embarrassing for her

Excuse me?

My mistake was saying employee not customer? My reading comprehension is fine.

An unwell person is not entitled to use a disabled parking bay and parking in a yellow disabled bay without a blue badge comes with a fine. They should be grateful instead of kicking up a stink about being asked to move instead of reported and fined.

You should maybe go back and reread as it's your reading comprehension skills letting you down here.

Generally, an adult shouldn’t need their mother to speak for them or raise complaints on their behalf. That’s true.

OP, in your job are you privy to the personal information of the ‘non-disabled person’ and certain that they do not have a genuine need for parental support in these circumstances? I understand they shouldn’t have parked there without a blue badge but that doesn’t mean that they are fully independent and able to handle this sort of confrontation.

Another relevant point, I think, is does your role give you the authority to resolve parking disputes on behalf of the disabled employee? Perhaps it does, but that doesn’t really come across as the case in your OP. Did they need you to speak on their behalf? Or did you take this upon yourself? I do think this will determine whether or not your manager will/ should back you up.

Why, what do you think I’ve got wrong? It clearly states a none (sic) disabled customer was parked in a disabled bay, and I asked them to move so a disabled staff member could use the space. Non-disabled customer stated that they used it because they were feeling unwell.

The PP I said was having trouble comprehending said they hoped the employee had a badge as they’d be fined for parking in a disabled spot.

At this point the disabled employee wasn’t in the spot so there would be no fine. In this case the inference is the disabled staff member does have a badge or you wouldn’t bother asking!

OP, in your job are you privy to the personal information of the ‘non-disabled person’ and certain that they do not have a genuine need for parental support in these circumstances?

They couldn't do their job if they needed that level of support from their mum.

Another relevant point, I think, is does your role give you the authority to resolve parking disputes on behalf of the disabled employee? Perhaps it does, but that doesn’t really come across as the case in your OP.

Yes.

Did they need you to speak on their behalf? Or did you take this upon yourself? I do think this will determine whether or not your manager will/ should back you up.

Yes as without me they had no idea who the employee was & as I said parking/building safety is part of my role so I am expected to deal with such issues.

There was another post to say the non-disabled adult is also a staff member. OP is probably aware of any additional needs from working with them.

Actually @13Ghosts you were right. Both adults were employees!!!

That was a drip feed afterwards though, that can’t be claimed as a victory!

Actually she said "none disabled ADULT" not "CUSTOMER".

I'm afraid, on this occasion @Marmite27 it is you who is in the wrong. In the OP it wasn't specified whether both adults were employees. The OP clarified in a later post that they were both employees. Always a good idea to be sure of your facts, before criticising someone else?

DH came home recently actually laughing out loud because he’d had (another) application for his internship program from someone’s mother for their undergrad aged child. The mind boggles as to the thought process. Why on earth would a competitive and fast paced internship (which is much sought after because it fulfils the criteria for some professional qualifications) offer a place to someone who can’t even write an email for themselves.

quite remarkable!

I would be absolutely mortified if my mam phoned my boss to complain about something on my behalf. That's so embarrassing as an adult. As a manager I'd not have taken that on at all, she'd have been told it's none of her business and if her adult child wanted to address it formally and professionally she'd need to do it herself.

It is you that got it wrong. I said the person using the spot should be grateful they were asked to move and not fined (regardless of whether this was a customer or an employee - they were not disabled).

They said they used the space because there was no other parking. Not feeling well does not entitle you to use a disabled parking bay.

You chose to be rude and double down on being wrong.

i reread the OP a dozen times and no where does it mention a customer. Can’t believe that poster is doubling down rather than going back and seeing their own error!

Er, no, the OP, the first post, clearly says: ‘AIBU to think my organisation should not accept the mums complaint but ask the staff member to complain herself?’