AIBU to think that.....

[BuckaDuck]

As an adult you shouldn't need your mum to complain for you?

Basically at work I told a none disabled adult to move their car from the disabled bay as a disabled staff member needed it. I wasn't shouting or even raising my voice but I was firm in my instruction & said that the disabled person had made a complaint to me.

They did move their car but not before telling me that they were not happy with how I spoke to them & that they were unwell today & there was no other parking (this was untrue there was many spaces in the over flow).

Several hours later her mum called my manager and made a complaint that I had upset her adult daughter.

AIBU to think my organisation should not accept the mums complaint but ask the staff member to complain herself?

I recently had a difficult time at work - I worked all day, at the start I had been timed and told I had to go quicker. I was only told once. Everyone else had done that job all day the day before and I hadn't. Anyway we finished the job on time and I helped tidy up at the end. The supervisors both thanked me. I got in my car and had a phone call that I'd been fired!
My mum wanted to phone in and complain about my treatment. I'm 60 next year!!

Just no. This person was a non-disabled adult. It's not appropriate for their mother to fight their battles for them.
I work with students, and their parents call in to complain/ask questions. We don't speak with them, because - guess what - their offspring are young adults.
This is a bonkers approach for parents to be involved in the workplace.

Oh, and my mother has phoned my work once, in my entire 47 years. I had been in an accident, which had involved me being knocked down by a bus. I was flat on my back in hospital, and my phone & laptop broken by the impact. I thought that it would be ok for her to report my absence that one time.

It's not a stretch it's a suggestion

My nd child takes everything to heart and I mean everything he has made himself physically sick because one person rolled their eyes at his actions

The op has no idea how this colleague thinks or feels and if their mum has felt it necessary to complain then it is what it is.

Op must know they overstepped somehow for it to even be a concern to them to post online

You don’t know if the adult who selfishly parked in the spot is ND or not. If they’re able to drive, they’re able to understand the rules of driving and parking, and that means being pulled up when doing something wrong with your car. Would their mother also have called the council to say how mean they were being if the driver had been given a fine?

If (huge if) the woman is ND, I absolutely understand navigating awkward social situations (especially when in the wrong) can be distressing. But if she has the capacity to work this job, then she has the capacity to understand when she has done something worth being pulled up on. But unless the op or anyone else can confirm that’s the case, let’s keep it to ‘selfish arse thinks they can use disabled parking space, was pulled up on it, she and her mum overreacted in response’.

I wonder how many threads you have started in the post about your workplace and in particular this colleague

Totally agree with OP, no question.

But I would like to put my head above the parapet and say that as a mum to an ND adult son I have spoken to his manager. Not to complain, but just to clarify something when I could see a situation arising when he hadn't been there that long. The manager was actually quite pleased I did call as she had not been made aware by HR that he was ND and she could then see the issue from his point of view, and the problem was resolved.

There is no law that covers parking in a disabled space on private land and this reads as though it was a company car park so private. The company may have a policy to fine but most don't.
I have an ND son. He was having actual issues at work when he was 16 and I guided him on what to say, helped him write a letter, and only stepped in and called him myself when the twunt of a manager wouldn't listen and put him on an 8am start on boxing day, a day he wasn't even supposed to be working, after he'd told them he had no transport in until 9am on any day because I have to drive him in and my disability means any earlier is not possible.
No parent of an ND child who is working outside the home is likely to decide that this was a battle to fight on their behave. Parent of a spoilt brat, absolutely!

I need to know what happened next? Did your manager back you up?
the manager should send an all staff email saying not to park in disabled spots without a blue badge or if the land is the company’s they can issue their own permits. My manager had one for the work disabled bays as they were awaiting hip replacements and the main car park was really far away.

this behaviour from parents is more common. I’ve heard mums calling employers for their 19 year old adults 😜 for trivial things

What are you trying to imply

i’d have thought that was pretty clear 😆

That the OP has started a number of threads regarding past interactions with this particular colleague

I get cross when anyone uses a Disabled Bay without a Blue Badge. I love that she got her Mum involved. Is she nine?! 😂🤦‍♀️ It doesn't matter how ill she felt, Disabled Bays are there to improve the lives of those who would struggle in a regular bay.

No, they’re batshit.

We’ve had DM’s of young grads ring in to work to try to say their darling DC is sick, they are given short shrift; employees have to ring themselves, they’re adults.

With mothers like this, you can see how some people are spoilt and entitled.

Oh dear, unless your colleague is ND and needs her Mum to speak for her, this is just not done. No badge, no park, as clear as that.

Need to know if she has a form of undiagnosed illness which doesn't quite qualify for disabled or if she is just entitled? Xx

Well, the colleague sounds pretty infuriating

Well I think you have your explanation as to why this entitled adult thinks she has the right to park in a disabled spot when not disabled, as her mother has clearly never told her when she is in the wrong. It’s quite embarrassing isn’t it?

No I haven't.
Why are you lying?

Sorry I haven't been back. I have been very busy but I do have an update.

There was no formal complaint made by the mother & my manager informed me that had there been, it would not have been taken seriously.

For those saying the none disabled staff member could be ND yes she could however you are missing the fact that this person does a complex job, & drives so has no problem understanding rules. They chose to park in that spot knowing it was designated to disabled people. Her actions caused distress & pain to a disabled staff member but some of you have forgotten about the disabled person in this & are focusing on the none disabled one who made a conscious decision.

I didn't over step. I told a "none disabled" none blue badge holder staff member to move their car out of the disabled space so that a disabled person who needed it could use it. While I admit I did not use pleasantries it was a basic instruction I gave her.

My concern was not the feelings of the staff member who isn't entitled to use the space & they know it, my concern was the distressed staff member who's disability means coming to working is already a physical & emotional burden which our disabled parking goes somewhere to reducing.

Can I ask Botany why you haven't once shown thought for the disabled person?

If an employer has made a reasonable adjustment for a disabled person and another member of staff uses it, the employer could be leaving themselves open to a discrimination claim unless they tell them to stop.