Feeling down after baby's 10 month review with the Health Visitor

[user242526]

Hi,

My baby had her 10 month review with her Health Visitor yesterday and I feel a bit down.

Accordingly to the Health Visitor she's a bit behind - she said she's not too concerned as baby could pick up and be where she needs to be. She said she's going to get back in touch in around twelve months and see where to go from there.

She gave me a questionnaire to fill out that asks about different skills.

The ones she doesn't yet do are:

Clapping
Waving
Pointing to an object she wants
Following simple instructions such as 'give'
She says 'gee' and 'boo' but doesn't say mammammama or dadadada.

She does sit unaided, crawl, pick objects up, pass them from hand to hand etc.

Should I be worried? What else can I do to help her?

I just feel down and I feel like the above is probably quite a lot of things to be behind with :/

No you shouldn't be worried. I don't think many 10 months old do those things. Shouldn't it be a 1 year review? It seems like you've had the appointment at least 2 months too early

Shocked the HV has made you worried for no reason

10 months is still tiny. We didn't have a check until 1 year and even in that time there can be a big difference. Don't be worried.

I don't think a 10 month old review is a standard appointment. Continue doing what you have been and she'll be fine.

Mine couldn't do half those at 14 month review (delayed 12 month!) in fact I'm not sure she ever crawled 😬 honestly don't worry, she sounds like she's doing amazingly for 10 months.

The review is supposed to be between 9-12 months. She's 10 months old

Initially I thought the questionnaire is just a guideline. Some kids to more some kids do less but when she said she thinks she's slightly behind and wants to do a review in three months it worried me a bit

For my last 2 babies what's meant to be the 1 year review has been done at around 10 months.

I refused to attend the 12 month review they scheduled for my baby at 9mo - the tests and thresholds are for 12mo not younger. Even when we did go at 12mo my baby wasn’t meeting her milestones. By 15 months she was and by 2 she was far beyond the 2yo milestones. Don’t worry at all, there is so much variation.

Honestly don't panic at all. Your baby sounds absolutely fine. Did the HV actually say "shes a bit behind"? In those words? Or are you sort of inferring more from it?

They only say it’s 9-12 months because they can’t manage demand if they do all the appts at 12mo. They didn’t do them early pre-Covid.

We had a similar thing at around 1 year. I filled the questionnaire in but it was made clear that they did not expect every child to be able to do everything on it. Mine is 2 and I'm pretty sure they've only started saving quite recently.

Try not to worry, sounds like your little one is doing just fine.

I had to reschedule DS's 10 month review. If he had gone to it, we would've been told he was a bit behind in some areas. When we finally had our review at 13 months, he was bang on track for absolutely everything expected between 12-14 months.

Babies honestly develop in their own time. They focus on certain skills at different times, and inevitably they'll be up in some areas and down in others. But it all comes together!

Crawling by 10 months is ok I think? Mine both crawled at 9 months which seemed average among people I knew at the time. Also clapped at 9 months. There was definitely no meaningful speech though. There's always a range, I don't think yours can be considered "behind" for quite a while yet, possibly in the latter half of normal.

I know a child who walked at 10 months and one who walked at 22 months. Both of them are completely normal now.

I've just had my baby's review last week. He claps, crawls, babbles. Will not give a toy 😂

He seems very similar to your baby but hv said he was fine. I wouldn't panic at all!

That was probably because the check should take place between 10 and 12 months and babies develop a lot in a coupe if months.
Also all babies develop at different rates.
I don't think think you need to worry.

Please don't worry at all! I honestly hate all this kind of milestone stuff, it causes so much unnecessary worry and stress for new mums.

As a baby my eldest literally sat like a potato all day and was happy to watch the world go by. Was late to do bloody everything.

He's 6 now, doing amazingly at school, glowing reports, loads of friends, doing great at beavers, has won gymnastics medals.

Please just relax and enjoy your child. In a few years they all just run around in a big playground together and you can't tell who walked at 9 months or 18 months or anything like that. Enjoy your child

It is possible that your baby is 'behind' at the moment and that this might signify a problem of some kind.

If there is one that needs intervention - it is great that the HV is on it already. Hang on to the thought that the 'problem' - if it exists- might not be permanent or serious.

It is also possible (likely even) that your baby has been busy learning things that are not on the HV's list and will come to the other stuff when ready.

It is hard not to worry - but try not to. Tests are all about the average. There is an average shoe-size but not all that many of us fit into it well!

I wouldn’t worry at all, even if she was 12 months i still wouldn’t be worried tbh.

My 4 week early baby was given her 9 - 12 month review at a day over 9 months. So she would have been 8 months if she'd come on time. She wasn't waving, clapping, pointing, crawling or saying any words. She was scheduled another one for 12 months due to concerns over her 'mobility and communication.' I cancelled it just before it was due as by 12 months she had met most of those milestones. Not walking or talking by then but I knew they would come in time and they did.

Bles you @user242526 ...If the age range is 9-12 months, then developmentally that is going to mean a huge range in abilities. It makes sense for her to check back in a little while because if there is a problem, early intervention is crucial.

In the meanwhile, try not to worry. Children all develop at their own rates.

• Make sure you read, sing and play down on floor level with your baby at home.
• Narrate what you're doing e.g. I'm just putting the washing in the machine, oh look, two white socks - all day long and also
• make sure you get out and about to soft play or play group or story time at the library or the park so she mixes with other children.

I'm sure by the time the next review comes round, there'll be nothing to worry about.

Don’t worry, 9-12 months is a huge range and the children who are assessed before almost 12 months are often needlessly flagged up.

Same with the 24-36 month review. My son was assessed literally on his birthday and she said his speech was delayed and did we need additional support? At 2.5 he is now speaking very confidently and fluently and I wish she hadn’t created unnecessary concern.

Neither of mine did any of that at that age. They are both now really ahead at primary school.

I don’t remember the exact milestones around that age, but 10 months is still tiny! They can change and develop so much.

By the time I did the 2yr questionnaire, it was clearer that twin 1 wasn’t speaking or developing as quickly as twin 2. This difference wasn’t apparent when they were babies. Twin 1 was referred for speech and language therapy and is now likely to be referred for an autism assessment. He has a lot of markers for ASD so it comes as no surprise. I’m glad it is being addressed now, at age 3, so that we can ensure he gets the extra support he will need at school.

At this stage so much can change, and if there are indications as time goes on that your child isn’t developing as expected, it is better that they address this early so that you can have the correct support in place. But OTOH they may be absolutely fine!

Try not to worry about it.

My daughter didn’t even crawl till she was around 13 months old or walk till she was 18 months. She was in theory behind on a few other things by around 2 she caught up!

She just graduated & started her job. It will even out in the end.

I also had my baby’s 10 month review a few weeks ago and came out of it feeling quite concerned as the HV added up the questionnaire and told me my baby had scored only 10/60 for gross motor (because she wasn’t standing/pulling herself up yet). I have to go back in 3 months for a check up.

However afterwards having spoken to friends I found that a lot of areas of the country don’t do this questionnaire until 12 months. And the red book also refers to it as they 1 year check. So they had worried me for nothing!