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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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How and when did you move your child(ren) into their own room? Is this too soon?

113 replies

user242526 · 01/10/2024 22:31

Hi,

DD is 10 months old and I am slowly starting to consider moving her into her own room.

She has started sleeping through the night (does have a few bad nights here and there due to teething and being unwell). However, we seem to kind of 'disturb' each other. When I get into bed she gets disturbed, if I get up to go to the toilet she gets disturbed etc. Likewise, if she coughs etc I wake up and struggle to go back into a deeper sleep as I'm always on 'edge' as I feel as though I constantly need to keep an eye on her to make sure she's okay.

I'd like to find out about other people's experiences of this? How did it go? What do you do if your child is sick? When is too soon or on the other hand when is it too late? Any tips?

Thanks

OP posts:
YourLastNerve · 01/10/2024 22:35

I moved my eldest earlier. He wasn't waking often for feeds and was too big for the small crib. There is no "too late" etc, every baby/parent feels different

I slept in with my kids if they were sick etc, or brought them back in my bed.

LeafHunter · 01/10/2024 22:36

I think recommendation is after 6 months so it’s fine. We moved ds about 7 months when we were waking him up when we came to bed.

LokiCroc · 01/10/2024 22:37

I was unaware of any rules/ guidelines and moved mine at 3 weeks. I couldn't sleep next to a snuffly baby. All doors were open, the nursery was 3 steps from our room and I could hear when she cried for night feeds. Both of mine slept through from 10- 6 from 10 weeks.

AlmondsAreGreat · 01/10/2024 22:37

6-7 months. It felt like a big step as her bedroom was on a different floor, but was fine.

user242526 · 01/10/2024 22:38

Thank you everyone. Another (stupid) question, will me putting her in her own room at 10 months make her feel abandoned?

OP posts:
Flittingaboutagain · 01/10/2024 22:39

My kids are in bed with me from whatever point in the night they first wake up. So whilst there is a room for them (toddlers) it's far easier to also have a huge bed with sidecar cotbed we can all share during leaps, teething and illness etc. My babies have always stayed in with me until 18 months at the earliest because they don't sleep well and I breastfeed back to sleep for ease.

AgainandagainandagainSS · 01/10/2024 22:41

LokiCroc · 01/10/2024 22:37

I was unaware of any rules/ guidelines and moved mine at 3 weeks. I couldn't sleep next to a snuffly baby. All doors were open, the nursery was 3 steps from our room and I could hear when she cried for night feeds. Both of mine slept through from 10- 6 from 10 weeks.

Yes, me too. I like the room much cooler too to sleep, and I am not the best sleeper neither so often get up to read etc.

LokiCroc · 01/10/2024 22:42

I only co slept once when DD2 was unwell and DH was on night shift, other than that, they always slept in their own beds and rooms. No messing about at bedtime, kisses and lights off. Never had any issue with bonding, I had hours of cuddles during the day.

mitogoshigg · 01/10/2024 22:42

I coslept with mine until they were ready, dd1 started wanting to sleep in her own bed from 16 month as soon as we got the toddler bed, she would come in half way through the night and that stopped at 2.5, dd2 was more resistant and was 7 before she slept through

whereimfrom · 01/10/2024 22:43

6 months with both kids as we were disturbing each other & they didn't feed through the night.

Frozenberries · 01/10/2024 22:44

6 months. They needed to move into a cot and it didn’t fit in my room

modgepodge · 01/10/2024 22:44

Any time after 6 months is fine (and for most people before 6 months would be fine too, but currently guidelines are 6m to reduce SIDS). We moved our daughter at 8m ish for the same reasons you describe, disturbing each other. Son is now 6m and I don’t want to move him any time soon as he wakes regularly and I just scoop him in to bed to feed him, I don’t want to go to another room to do that. But…he’s getting too long for his crib and no room for the cot in here so my hand may be forced!!

theres no right or wrong, do what works for you. No you’re not abandoning her.

itsjustbiology · 01/10/2024 22:45

I put my dd in her own room straight away. Everyone was up in arms when they came to visit her and she was in her own room and fast asleep at 6.30 !! . Fast forward other than illness and the odd nightmare where she has come into our bed, she is, at 12 yrs totally well adjusted and other than the tween angst she is great! She in fact had a double bed to herself at 5 and sleeps really happily! Only you can decide OP, chances are if you are happy and content so will your little one be too.

FloydGerhardt · 01/10/2024 22:46

10 weeks and 8 weeks but it was 25 years ago, so not much use. They were both very good sleepers though.

Shoesshoes87 · 01/10/2024 22:46

By 7 months my LO was too mobile and standing up in the next 2 me crib! So it was time to move to the cot in the nursery and we’ve all had peaceful sleeps ever since! 🙃

AgainandagainandagainSS · 01/10/2024 22:46

LokiCroc · 01/10/2024 22:42

I only co slept once when DD2 was unwell and DH was on night shift, other than that, they always slept in their own beds and rooms. No messing about at bedtime, kisses and lights off. Never had any issue with bonding, I had hours of cuddles during the day.

You are my kind of mum! Teeth, story, hug and kiss, lights out (don’t want to see you until the morning unless you’re ill 🤣)

Maray1967 · 01/10/2024 22:47

dS1 now 24 - in his own room at 6 weeks. dS2 now 16 - in his own room at 6 months.

DS2 was a winter baby and had a few colds in his first few months and our HV was strict on the 6 month rule - I wouldn’t have moved him anyway.

But - DS1 slept far better in his own room than DS2 did, and our first HV said this would happen as by 6 months baby is aware and can have separation anxiety. I think she was right.

JaceLancs · 01/10/2024 22:48

It’s a long time ago but I moved mine when they stopped breastfeeding and were sleeping through over 6 hours
With DD it was 10-11 months with DS it was 8-9 months

letthemalldoone · 01/10/2024 22:55

I must be a real outlier but I never did get the rush to move babies to their own room! Hence DC1 was nearly 2 moving out to make room for DC2, and DC2 was 4 and moved out to make space for DC3 who was a fixture until about 4.5!

I had a friend who kept giving me all these dire warnings about how they'd never move out - they did and never looked back!

I loved snuggling up with them at night!

Flittingaboutagain · 01/10/2024 22:58

Maray1967 · 01/10/2024 22:47

dS1 now 24 - in his own room at 6 weeks. dS2 now 16 - in his own room at 6 months.

DS2 was a winter baby and had a few colds in his first few months and our HV was strict on the 6 month rule - I wouldn’t have moved him anyway.

But - DS1 slept far better in his own room than DS2 did, and our first HV said this would happen as by 6 months baby is aware and can have separation anxiety. I think she was right.

Obviously OP all of this is completely against SIDS guidance. We want young babies to be disturbed in the night be us so they don't sleep too deeply and die.

Changingusernameasalways · 01/10/2024 23:05

OP it's totally normal to worry they'd feel abandoned and you may find you have a few disturbed nights while they get used to their new sleeping arrangements but they will get used to it. Stick to your normal routine just in the new room and it'll be fine. I used to love listening to them babbling away in the mornings when mine would wake up after a decent night sleep all round. It was the best feeling going in first thing to a beaming smile. Good luck.

SunsetSkylane · 01/10/2024 23:06

user242526 · 01/10/2024 22:38

Thank you everyone. Another (stupid) question, will me putting her in her own room at 10 months make her feel abandoned?

Well you were likely in your own room much before that, did you feel abandoned?

Come on. It's fine.

Changingusernameasalways · 01/10/2024 23:07

Forgot to say my first was in our room for about a month before I moved her to her room and my second was in his room from day one. They both had baby monitors that monitored breathing so I felt they were safe.

Wantitalltogoaway · 01/10/2024 23:12

FloydGerhardt · 01/10/2024 22:46

10 weeks and 8 weeks but it was 25 years ago, so not much use. They were both very good sleepers though.

Same here, but my babies were more recently than that. I followed my instincts instead of the ’rules’.

It’s not a coincidence that babies in their own rooms sleep better!

Wantitalltogoaway · 01/10/2024 23:13

Flittingaboutagain · 01/10/2024 22:58

Obviously OP all of this is completely against SIDS guidance. We want young babies to be disturbed in the night be us so they don't sleep too deeply and die.

Wtf?