How and when did you move your child(ren) into their own room? Is this too soon?

[user242526]

Hi,

DD is 10 months old and I am slowly starting to consider moving her into her own room.

She has started sleeping through the night (does have a few bad nights here and there due to teething and being unwell). However, we seem to kind of 'disturb' each other. When I get into bed she gets disturbed, if I get up to go to the toilet she gets disturbed etc. Likewise, if she coughs etc I wake up and struggle to go back into a deeper sleep as I'm always on 'edge' as I feel as though I constantly need to keep an eye on her to make sure she's okay.

I'd like to find out about other people's experiences of this? How did it go? What do you do if your child is sick? When is too soon or on the other hand when is it too late? Any tips?

Thanks

The only SIDS advice when I had my children was the ‘back to sleep’ campaign. There was nothing about keeping your child in your room.

Exactly. Without wishing to sound morbid, I can’t see how you’d know that your baby had stopped breathing if it was asleep in the same room as you any more than if it was in the room next door. You’d be asleep.

Are you saying you didn't have sex for 6 months?!

I don't see why it should. You'll be going in any time she wakes to settle her, and when she wakes up in the morning. My gut feeling is that you're more likely to risk that if you leave it longer.
But hey, my babies were in their own rooms as soon as night feeds were done, at about 8 weeks so maybe I'm just a tough mummy.

No. I’m saying we didn’t have sex in our bedroom while the baby was asleep in there for 6 months. But even if we hadn’t had sex for 6 months, I’d consider it worth it to significantly reduce the risk of my baby dying of SIDS.
Actually though, we didnt have sex for 6 months after DC3 was born due to the hideous birth injury that left my baby disabled and me barely able to walk for 3 months. 6 years on we have a healthy sex life, are very much in love and haven’t been damaged by our dry period 😊.

My DS (eldest) moved into his own room from 6 months because I had lovingly decorated the nursery while I was pregnant and I was excited to use it as soon as possible. I was really looking forward to the 6 months being up!

DD was 9 months because we waited until we had moved into a bigger place.

But even if we hadn’t had sex for 6 months, I’d consider it worth it to significantly reduce the risk of my baby dying of SIDS.

What’s the evidence that — all other things being equal — having your baby in your room ‘significantly’ reduces the risk of your baby dying of SIDS? Sorry, but I don’t think such an experiment has been done because you can’t separate this from other factors. Happy to be proved wrong though.

The guidance says wait till 6 months for them to sleep alone, but I actually moved mine at 4 months and then slept in with him for a month (i.e. slept with him for 5 months) so at least I could have my own room to chill in before going to sleep. He was very healthy and sleeping through the night once he was in his really big cot (much nicer for him than the small ones that fit next to your bed) so by 5 months I slowly felt comfortable enough with all the cameras, sleep trackers etc to have him in his own room, and it was easier to check on the camera of him to see what was going on when he made a noise without disturbing him when I was in my own room. If he'd had a nasty illness I would have slept back in with him but he's been super robust - and I do sleep in the same room as him on holiday but he has more disturbed sleep because of it.

lots of references in here - https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/138/5/e20162940/60296/SIDS-and-Other-Sleep-Related-Infant-Deaths

"The AAP recommends room-sharing, because this arrangement decreases the risk of SIDS by as much as 50%89,91,172,173 and is safer than bed-sharing89,91,172,173 or solitary sleeping (when the infant is in a separate room).89,172"

How do they know the parents who room-shared weren’t more vigilant anyway e.g. with placing baby on its back, foot to foot of cot, no loose bedding etc.— I.e. the real factors for SIDS?

As far as I can see this study only case controlled to match factors like smoking and locality, not other behavioural factors. It’s really flawed.

Mine went in hers at 7m. I was fed up of sleeping like a sardine between dh and the cot and our snoring was waking her up sometimes too. She occasionally sleeps in our bed.

4 weeks, his room but I slept in with him. 4 months, I moved out. He didn't sleep through until 8 months. But he's 3 now and thriving. And he had a little brother arrive who shares his room. They love it.

I mean, any study in any field you can think of some uncontrolled factors, but that is a massive effect size across 4 studies, covering different countries, with no principled reason to assume that there'd be significant behavioural differences in the uncontrolled factors (you could argue that uncontrolled factors would go either way here... richer people more likely to have room for a nursery and usually following public health guidelines is higher and mortality/morbidity are lower for richer people). And obviously there will never be an RCT dictating where parents put their babies to sleep, so converging evidence from a number of less rigorous studies is always what the evidence base will be. You can argue that uncontrolled factors cross-culturally have created that huge effect size, but it's not reasonable to call it 'really flawed'... I personally think this looks like stronger evidence than much of what is seen in behavioural healthcare and would definitely follow the advice.