How and when did you move your child(ren) into their own room? Is this too soon?

[user242526]

Hi,

DD is 10 months old and I am slowly starting to consider moving her into her own room.

She has started sleeping through the night (does have a few bad nights here and there due to teething and being unwell). However, we seem to kind of 'disturb' each other. When I get into bed she gets disturbed, if I get up to go to the toilet she gets disturbed etc. Likewise, if she coughs etc I wake up and struggle to go back into a deeper sleep as I'm always on 'edge' as I feel as though I constantly need to keep an eye on her to make sure she's okay.

I'd like to find out about other people's experiences of this? How did it go? What do you do if your child is sick? When is too soon or on the other hand when is it too late? Any tips?

Thanks

I’ve never heard that explanation! Second HV said it was so babies learn from adults breathing. I was never convinced - partly because she was useless and HV 1 was brilliant. HV 1 said it was the only part of the safe sleeping guidance that she did not agree with it. Everything else makes sense - feet to foot, not over warming, no smoking- but if babies stay in with parents for months it is very likely that they will hate being in their own room later and there will be serious sleep problems.

In our experience with DS2 she was absolutely right - but he was snuggly with colds and we decided it was best to have him right next to us in the big cot.

6 weeks, she hated being swaddled and the crib was too small so she woke every time she flailed her arms in her sleep.

I mostly slept in the same room as her until she was about 7 months though. Spare bedroom with space for a cot and a comfy chair for overnight feeds. Left DH to sleep through and bring me breakfast before he went to work so it all worked well.

DC2 lasted a bit longer as a different house but by 4 months we had the same issue with waking each other up as the OP. So she joined her big sister. She was a much better sleeper though and we got a good routine with a dream feed so second time around I wasn't spending the wee hours feeding and reading Mumsnet.

I slept terribly when my kids were in the room - am a super light sleeper and woke up every time they moved. I moved my daughter into her own room (next door) around 8 months as we were travelling for a bit before. I moved my son around 7 months but into my daughter's room. I slept so much better after that which made me a much better mum.

We moved DD at 5.5m- we were moving from co-sleeping and it seemed silly to transition her to a cot in our room only to have to transition her again a couple of months later.
I actually think it would have been harder if we had left it longer- at that age she was fairly amenable.
We started by putting her into her own cot at the beginning of the night- she would settle to sleep easily and then putting her in with us when she woke for a feed a couple of hours later. After a few days of that I went to just putting her back in her cot after the feed and she was fine except she went from 1 feed a night to 2- something we didn't manage to change for about 4 months!

My youngest is 40 and their was no rule about keeping them in your room until they were 6 months old then. My eldest was in our room until we finally moved into a 2 bedroom flat just before she was 2. My youngest never slept in our room.

40 odd years ago both of mine slept in their own rooms from day one. Like most new mums, I slept lightly and had a comfy chair in there for breastfeeding - it meant my husband (who worked long hours) got a good night's sleep. Paying all the bills was him supporting his family. Neither of us would have slept a wink with a snuffling, fidgety baby in the room! I accept this is yet another old-fashioned concept but all my friends did it and it seemed to work out fine. Mine were confident, self-assured children and both work in professional roles with happy families themselves.

My son was about 7 months I think, when we moved him into his own room. He was in a Moses basket right next to the bed until he outgrew that at a month old then moved to his cot on the other side of the bedroom. It’s a very big (weirdly so, for the fact it’s actually not a huge house!) room and this worked until he got to about 6 months before we were all disturbing and waking each other left, right and centre. I hadn’t got his room ready so it took about a month to rejig things, find a new home for my office, rearrange furniture, decorate etc etc.

12 weeks for both of mine.

2 and 4 weeks with mine but that was over 20’years ago.

6 and a half months as we also started waking each other up!
We had a week where none of us slept and then my friend suggested we were all waking each other up which I hadn’t even thought about, moved him that night and we’ve all slept well since!

We moved DD at 6 months. From 4 months we got her napping in her cot in her room so she wasn't shocked by the idea. We had an audio monitor and bedroom next door so quite safe.

She didn't really sleep through til 10 months or so. We had to increase evening feed to stop her waking up hungry.

My eldest son was about 1, my daughter was 10 months and my youngest was 14 months. Just when it felt right really or they stopped breast feeding in the night.

The breathing thing is true up to a certain age.

as for babies hating being in their own if they’re with their parents for months, that has not been my experience at all. Mine were all 10-14 months co sleeping. They all went into their own rooms with no issues and apart from when ill never wanted to sleep in our bed after moving.

I think our son was about 4 weeks home when I moved him into his own room. But he'd slept for eleven weeks on various NICU wards and so was used to not having somebody alongside for the last few of those (nurses sat at entrance to ward).

If you feel ready to move her and think sleep will be better all round then go for it, they now say that from 6 months onwards it's fine.

If you don't feel ready then don't! There's a lot of pressure around to force babies into a certain type of independence before they are ready in my opinion. On mumsnet you will find lots of people saying they put their babies in rooms on their own from day one, sleep trained etc and how they've slept perfectly since but in my experience and most parents I've known, this is very rare.

You should do whatever you feel is best for your family and what you feel comfortable with.

My dd went in her room at 6 months, we both slept much better after that.

She's 18 now and doesn't seem to have any abandonment issues 😉

There were no recommendations in the 1990s. DC1 was moved at 10 days as I was getting no sleep. I don't think the other two ever slept in our room.

Similar timeline here, still got the youngest DC in bed with me and he’s 2 in a couple of months. But I know for some people co-sleeping with a toddler would be awful, so whatever works for different folks! I do it partly out of laziness as we need to turn DH’s office into a bedroom for the kids and move his stuff into the smaller bedroom, between full time work & small children neither of us have the energy to do the rearranging, so DS stays in with us and seems quite happy with the arrangement! Have booked some leave in November to make the switch so might have my bed back by Christmas, but I don’t feel any huge rush to have him sleep elsewhere.

We moved DS at 5 months. We had planned to at 6 months but it was during those super hot 40 degree days we had, his nursery was at the back of the house where it was much cooler, whereas ours was at the front where it was really hot so we weighed up risks and decided it was better for him to be cooler. He was getting too big for the bedside crib anyway. He started sleeping through the night quite quickly after that, I think we might have been waking him up. 10 months I think is absolutely fine.

32 years ago. Moved him into his own room at about 8 weeks and he started sleeping right through the night. Pretty sure he's never experienced abandonment issues.

I did too @IMBCRound2 because I knew I wouldn't have moved her otherwise! It didn't scar her for life lo! We did the foul deed a few months before baby was due so that she would be used to it. It was just fine!

She’s quite excited for it which is a good thing but I don’t think she fully realises what it means … and I still worry that she needs that deep sleep for all the brain goodness!

im also a solo mum so part of me still feels it’s easier to have them all in one space ? I can see how it’s better if one parent can stay with the baby and the other goes next door but I feel like I’ll be dragging one or the other into the cold!

I managed to co sleep with both mine for a while, in the very early weeks the baby settled fine in his next to me but then it was easier to have him actually in next to me. Eldest had the choice of his own room but slept on the other side of me for the first 4 months before deciding it was time to go to his own bed and he’s slept in there every night since. It was sometimes a squash but DS1 was so used to sleeping next to me he never woke when the baby cried! And it meant I wasn’t being disturbed even more by him waking and coming through to my room, or needing me to go through to him. I think just do what makes the early months bearable, especially if you’re on your own, don’t put any extra pressure on yourself than you need to.

I think it might be tough to co-sleep with both of them - I'd be afraid of tiny baby being hurt or older child rolling onto baby I think?

Ramp up all the excitement of her being a big girl - let her help pick furnishings etc!

Don't worry about all that brain goodness 😂I was very academic when I was young and I think I thought I'd having having mini brains of Britain lol! The three of them have been pretty solidly averagely academic; two are graduates and the other is 2/3 of the way there. First has a professional career, 2nd is working on establishing one, and I hope the 3rd will too.

I love and adore them, and I am so proud of them, but none of them is finding the cure for cancer, let's face it!

My close friend's three kids never co-slept and were never breastfed, and their parents are probably average academically, and all three of them have way surpassed mine!

Fair play to you, I never tried it. Did you sleep in the middle of the two of them?

I'm also a great believer in doing whatever makes your life easier!