AIBU to think Private School isn’t worth the expense?

[Macaronsandcupcakes]

In my area (Bristol) all the private schools I’ve spoken to have admitted they will eventually pass on the 20% VAT (I’m not objecting the govt policy). This means the cheapest school will be charging £7k+ per term. For one child from yr 7 to complete their GCSE’s it’ll be £110k.

I completely understand the schools get better grades, but other than grades why is it worth it? Has your child significantly benefited?

Articles I’ve recently read suggest that the anti private discussions are gaining momentum, both from universities & employees.

My partner is keen to send our children. But I need convincing.

It was worth it for us. Dc was pretty average in year 6 state primary. There were some really bright kids in his, small class of about 16 kids. Dc and another child went to private school and those two ended up being the only ones from that primary class that went to a RG university. All the rest went to the local state, and even the kid that was in all the top sets at state and was stellar at primary ended up at Reading. Nothing wrong with Reading but clearly her grades weren't amazing. Dc ended up with 2 x A star and an A. I totally believe that the school helped them get there.

I live in a mixed area school wise, and that is reflected in my kid's social circles. I hear terrible behaviour stories from all types of schools.

Oh and behaviour? Far far better at the private school. No daily fights for a start!

It’s mainly about shitty parenting not bad children.

My DS got outstanding GCSEs at a "requires improvement" state school. If kids have the determination and encouragement they'll still achieve well.

I don't believe that's true, sadly. Also A levels are very different to GCSES.

I'm a primary school teacher in a state school. There is a private school right next to our school (both in quite a middle class area which might make a difference). Our school got outstanding in its last inspection report so to me it seems so ridiculous to pay for your child to go to the school next door. I'm in Northern Ireland though so our school system is a bit different as it's still predominantly faith schools here. The majority of teachers have all been trained the same. It's down to catchment area, class sizes and how the school is run by management. If your child is a capable child with a decent teacher, no matter the school they should still progress well. Of course bullying etc can effect a child's progress but that's true in any school.

Well it is, I've seen it. Parenting matters the most of all I think. Some parents aren't as bothered about encouraging their children to do well.

@Beezknees don’t you think he might have had a more pleasant experience though in a different school or had it a little bit of an easier time

Or got fab grades and not have to fight for them and be able to do high level music drama and sport as well.

Awaits someone to come and say their failing state school manages to do high level everything

I’m not sure a dentist, doctor and senior management is evidence of stellar achievement- and I don’t mean to be goady. I’m also a product of state education with school friends who have done ‘well’ - solicitors, doctors etc, but they aren’t necessarily high flyers, or people who could open up opportunities for me.

I work in a competitive industry, and I’d say more than half of my colleagues are privately educated. The ones who act as if they pulled themselves up by the bootstraps’only’ went to grammar schools in affluent areas.

I think that private schools must open up opportunities- whether it’s through connections or a boost to self confidence. ( not sure what exactly)

Of course, you will always get state educated people who get to the top of their profession, but being privately educated seems to shorten your odds.

but I’ll contradict myself and say that self belief or self confidence may simply come from being from an affluent family.

Reading is an excellent university. It has slipped down the rankings in recent years, but remains a very good place to study. I didn’t go there myself, but know of some very senior and capable people who went there.

the Russell group is a self appointed group of institutions that got together to lobby government on policy. While it includes a number of top research universities, it isn’t based on their ranking. They don’t need to ‘qualify’

yet somehow it’s become a way to measure universities by helicopter parents who don’t really seem to understand how universities operate.

bizarrely though, it’s become a self fulfilling prophecy as unis in the group seem to have become more popular since it started in 1994.

He had a fine time at school! What a weird thing to assume he didn't.

Well that's great that you think that. Dc is happy that they've got into a university far better for their course than Reading, it's fine but not great.

How do you know what he did or didn't do? I haven't disclosed anything about his extracurriculars!

Everyone has to "fight" for grades to a certain extent, whatever school you go to. Unless you're a certified genius with a photographic memory or something you'll still have to study and work.

All the rest went to the local state, and even the kid that was in all the top sets at state and was stellar at primary ended up at Reading. Nothing wrong with Reading but clearly her grades weren't amazing

I suppose I have skin in the game in that I work in an independent but your university snobbery is off the scale. There are lots or reasons people choose to attend a particular university - the actual course, it's content, the course ranking at that university etc. etc. Reading may well be offering that young person the best possible opportunities. Did you consider that?

@Allfur I literally said in my post 'not all state schools' l'm state school educated and have done fine. The schools I went to are a few miles from where I live now and are unrecognisable from when I went to them. Behaviour has deteriorated hugely over the years and that's just fact. It's talked about a lot on MN.

Don't be silly. There are thousands of threads on here about league tables and good unis for subjects. Reading is 35th in the CUG. It's probably a fine uni but it's not aspirational. My point was this was a fantastically bright kid, far brighter than mine at primary level. it's a shame she didn't get a better uni.

Actually many kids from state schools get into Oxbridge. Interesting to know what you think your dc is gaining by your university snobbery. Nobody in the workplace gives a shit re which uni you’ve been too. Also in the real world kids are coping with all sorts of things- private school produced Alevels and a handful of unis focused on by snobbery in parents isn’t the be all and end all of life.

My son has coped with far more than most kids ever will. His uni does an amazing job with supporting students and is one I’d pick in a heartbeat over the MN handful. Surviving uni and a degree in one piece is what is important. After your first job nobody cares which uni you went to and hopefully this is something that will be built upon in years to come.

Actually many kids from state schools get into Oxbridge

Yes, i know - not from ours though, so not sure what that has to do with my post?

I have no doubt that my dc wouldn't have done as well as they did had they gone to our local state.

After your first job nobody cares which uni you went to

Depends what career you want i suppose.

If you can afford it why wouldn’t you? What’s more important? Designer clothes, 5 star holidays, big car or your child’s education?

And Reading is actually now 24th in the Times list. Those lists are meaningless as unis go up and down like yo tops.Reading has a lot going for it- amazing campus,good SE work links, it’s close to London, it’s a supportive uni and has good graduate prospects.

I have one in the top 10 and 1 lower down in the 20s. They both have practically the same graduate prospects. All I care about is happy kids and value for money. Both my kids are getting degrees in areas that have a lot of jobs and both unis have good prospects. I’d say support is better in the one in the 20s which is another important point in my book.

Some parents on MN seem to have bat shit crazy priorities and I do feel sorry for their kids.

So you look at graduate prospects, big similarity quite a way down the list.

Great. I'm sure she's very happy there.