To be shocked deferring by a year has become this common?

[Killiam]

My DS is 4, his birthday is august 28th, he started school this year.
Today I went to a session at his school where parents were invited in to see what they have been doing etc.
After I was talking to some parents and they noted more than once how tiny he is, I said ah well he has just turned 4 so makes sense. This is when I learned of his class of 24 kids, 4 of them should have started the year before 1 June birthday, 2 July and 1 August. The next closest in age to my son is a June baby so no other July or August babies born his year at all!
DS seems to be doing well but when I asked the other summer parents why they decided to defer they basically all said they just felt their kids needed more time, nothing the separates them from DS.
DS does cry most days going in and couldn't write his name or anything before starting.
The school is in central London and is very diverse but lots of Eastern European and Asian parents and Ive learn that in most of those countries 6 or even 7 is a more common. starting age so I wonder if that plays a role?

AIBU to be shocked it is so common to defer now? Starting to wonder if I made the right choice!

Is that the case for the most competitive school sports though? If it's an U13 football match in an interschools cup, are they really allowed a U14 player just because he stayed down a year in reception? There can be significant physical differences in size which is why the rules are put there in the first place to cap the ages that are eligible to play.

What physical differences are there between a child born on 25th August and one born on the 1st September?

That's not the point I'm making.

If there is a child born on 2nd June 2011 who was deferred they would be in the current year 8, playing with children born up to 31st August 2012 if they all play U13. There can be a very big physical difference between those players who are 14 months apart and therefore it would be normal for the rules I've seen to say that players should be born after 1st September 2011 to play in U13.

So what happens to the children who've deferred? Are they allowed to play in their school yeargroups teams?

They go off age not year group though? So it does not matter what year group they're educated in, they play against their age cohort.

I just looked up rugby as it's a physical sport and one where I can see size difference being of concern.

There are steps in place whereby a child who is being educated at a year behind their academic birth year can play down, but it is not automatic. The school needs to apply for permission for the player to play down for the year. It is not automatically granted (although I imagine usually is). The school also needs to notify the opposing school in advance of any match that they will be bringing an older pupil who is playing down.

Not sure how the playing down rules apply to other sports where height is an advantage (such as netball).

Children with January and February birthdays are almost always the youngest in the class - unless they've been deferred - as the cut off is the end of February. The oldest child in P1 would turn 6 in March (term 3).
Traditionally, parents of children born in January or February could choose to defer but now anyone can choose to do so. It's become increasingly popular among the middle classes as it's seen that children are too young to start at 4.5/5 and we should follow a more Scandinavian approach of starting later.

It's fairly common but my kids are summer term (one at the start and one at the end) and wouldn't have kept them back. I was an august birthday myself, in fact very prem. My kids are still amongst he tallest and brightest in the year so I think very bored to have done two years of preschool. Actually a lot of kids struggle socially that are held back as the gap between them and most of the kids is pretty big. The second year of preschool doesn't go so well either with acting up and behaviour issues. I'm sure your child will be just fine

But they aren’t a year older than most of the kids though? Many of the other children in the year will be turning the same age as the deferred child from September.
At most they will be 11 months older than the youngest child.

I don’t think this is a new thing. I have always supported the ‘learning through play’ methodology and felt four is generally far too young for a formal school setting. None of my children started school until they were of compulsory school age (during 1990s). My granddaughter is a July birthday and parents already considering if four is too soon.

My experience has been that parents don’t know that they can defer (without losing their place offered when the child was four) and think they have to start as soon as offered a place. Agree that some parents can’t exercise this choice due to cost or lack of nursery places.

NB: in England you still have to apply in the normal way as if entering school at four, then defer - ie you don’t defer the actual application.

Please check with your local authority what their expectation is as, while some areas do insist you apply then reject the school place, ours only recommends it in case, down the line, you decide your child is ready for school at 4 plus however many weeks; otherwise then you have an issue of a school ready child who doesn’t have a school to go to! However, we knew from
the day we were told our DCs were being delivered that day, we were going to delay their start at school.

In regards to the nursery place, you simply tell the nursery that they will be continuing until CSA and that they need to keep their place available to them. So long as your child isn’t enrolled and attending a school on “census day” (this year it was October 2nd) then the school does not receive funding for that child and it goes to the nursery instead. Even children who have started school can be unenrolled up to the day before census day and the funding will not go to the school but to the nursery!!

Oh, and if the nursery start saying they have to teach YR curriculum if your child stays down, ask them what they will be teaching the September born preschoolers - as it’s exactly the same, there is no requirement to teach delayed to CSA children anything different!!

I think it's brilliant more and more parents are choosing to, when it's possible to do so financially, keep their children out of school at a very young age. Deferment is the norm here (in Aus) at least where I am because the extra year of being out of education and playing/ with parents, is seen as a positive, and I think it is too.

Very surprised a June birthday was allowed to defer - thought it was only aug babies

I know several late aug babies now at school

One friend deferred for a year

Other sent her dd to school 4 and 2 days

Both are doing well

I'm a july baby. When I started school in 'cough' 1978 I went after Xmas when schools did a jan intake so being 4mths older and heading for 4.5 which I tho k makes more sense rather then deferring

In terms of nursery places for deferred children: they are entitled to nursery funding (30hrs if that's what your entitled to based on income) until they are compulsory school age which is the term after they turn 5. However some nurseries/pre schools don't allow children to stay past the point they can start school and as businesses that's up to them (not sure how it would work for a nursery attached to a school).
We are planning to home educate my DD currently 2.5. She will be starting a 'pre-school' when she is 3 and I asked when I was looking at settings if they would keep her till CSA- most said yes but a couple said no.

We kept our DS at his preschool til five with his EYFS funding. I thought that was the law? I only had the 2.5 days because I only worked 2.5 days anyway at the time.

I think people overthink the advantages / disadvantages. Nothing is perfect.
It was suggested I move up a class but my parents said no because it would have made me almost 2 years younger than many in the year. I was bored stiff and unhappy through school, and couldn't relate to most of my classmates whom I found too childish.
A friend did skip a year and was much happier. We both did well academically.
I did a hobby with levels that were skill-based and was in classes with children up to 8 years older than me. There were even adults in some of the classes. It was where I thrived.

Age has little to do with maturity levels or academic ability.

Ha ha! Well said! 👏

It's from April 1st.

I'd never have dreamed of deferring an April child historically, but I'm very grateful we were able to do it in my (April born) child's exceptional circumstances.

There's almost 17 months between her and some in her class. She's still one of the smallest, still the one that gets knocked over in the playground and the one that is likely to come last in her sports day.

I'm not sure what I think about spring borns like her being able to defer as a right, but I'm very glad that it was an option open to us.

It's interesting though seeing her with her class as she's so much more focused on learning than a year ago. That's definitely something to be said for everyone starting a year later.

I don't know about football but most sports are done on age, not school year. In my sport it is your age on 1st January which counts, except for competition over the winter season in which case you "carry over your age" to prevent you going up an age cat on 2nd January. Our age cats are two years wide which is huge unfortunately, the difference between a just turned 12 year old and a nearly 14 year old is massive, so everyone gets a year of being absolutely destroyed every time they go up an age category.

Presumably at 4 the child would already have a nursery place so you simply extend it. Nurseries usually prioritise existing children over offering any new children a place. I've never heard of a deferred child locally being forced to leave their nursery because they deferred their school place. Presumably the nursery would need informing in a timely manner, though. I had informed my child's nursery of my intention when she was two so that she would be with the same children she'd be going to school with at nursery also and move on to school with the same cohort and friends.

For those entitled to it, the 30hrs funding will continue until the deferred child leaves for school (it stops the term after their 5th birthday, when they become compulsory school age). 30hrs is the same as school hours, so for families with low or median earnings there is no financial cost at all for deferring.

Thank you for this.

My hunch is that they will have assumed she is going and another parent will have already been told they have a place from September 25, which wouldn't be the case if my daughter stayed as they are full until the following September. Not sure who would get priority in this instance, would they argue I should have warned them I was deferring her? Or should they have clarified as she has another year before she is CSA?

Every nursery/preschool will have different ways of doing it; we made it clear when viewing their preschool that we intended to delay to CSA (thankfully the manager was onboard with it and said no problem, they would keep the places for the following academic year). Some will have waiting lists and, unless you specifically tell them you’re not leaving, they may offer places to the next on the list for the following term; others will only confirm spaces for the following term/year once they know what the plans are for each summer born child.

I would tell them now that your intention is for
your daughter to remain in preschool until CSA and that you wish for her to stay at their childcare setting where she knows the staff and other children and where she is happy and settled. Based on that, they should not offer places to others this early. There is always the chance that other children will leave during the current academic year due to house moves or changes in family circumstances.

It does seem to be more and more common these days. I used to work in school admissions and we always advised against it unless there were additional learning needs as it can complicate junior and secondary school applications. I am July born and never felt any differences.

12 months ago my twins barely coped with 15 hours a week over 3 days at preschool; they still napped; were only just potty trained and struggled to dress themselves. There was no way they would have coped with full time school.

We had already decided to delay them to CSA due to them being premature (had they been born on their due date, they would have naturally fallen into the school year they’re now in), boys, twins and summer born which are all factors that affect readiness for school as well as emotional and social maturity. This year they are coping so well with school; they started exactly 2 weeks after their 5th birthday and are not the only CSA starters in their school intake of 30 as there is another child in their class.

That’a great @LovedFedAndNoonesDead - sounds like you made the right decision.

Ive just found out I’m pregnant unexpectedly with a DC due mid June and a bit unsure. If it was August id defer without a second thought but June seems a bit more borderline and I think having older siblings will help (dc3). Will just have to see how they develop, and I agree with you there is usually much more of a case for boys.

We had to consider, as others have said, our twins were born August 2019 so, just at an age where they were properly interacting with others and attending baby groups, the country went into lockdown and they lost all that contact with anyone outside the immediate family for beat part of 18 months so had that to contend with too. They started nursery at 2, going 11 hours a week year round; then, last Easter, we moved them to the preschool in the same village that we wanted them to go to school in so they had 4 terms with what is ultimately 1/2 their class/year group!!

I totally get your reticence wi the a June born and would say, wait and see - you can always broach the subject with your chosen schools and test the land; then apply for a place in their chronological age group but be prepared to delay if you think the little one isn’t quite school ready when the time comes - you can decline the place right up to start of term i you wanted to!