Frightened

[IveGotToGoToMeDads]

Just been into the local cemetery walking my dog, and felt uneasy about a man who seemed to be watching me.
He went to one grave down the bottom of the hill, went to another all while watching me, he didn't have any flowers or nothing for anyones grave. He appeared to be talking to himself.
He slowly made his way up towards the hill towards me, at this point my back where to him. I felt really uneasy, so faced towards him and he was staring at me and I felt really intimidated he stopped at another grave and then faced me again staring. I felt is was not quite right and my gut instincted was going, so I decided to abandon my walk with the dog and run back to the car. Got in the car and locked myself in and come back home.

@LemonyFace no he wouldn't.

@oakleaffy I think he was stoned. There was nothing in his demeanour when he walked into the park that made me think he would approach me but something about him scared me. It put me off that park for a while and I did actually see him again a couple months later when I was with DD and he walked past me and clearly didn't even remember me. It has affected me though I don't feel as safe as I used too

That's what I meant, I did say to use it if you see anyone around, meaning dog might get frisky.

I think you were right to trust your instincts, I would have ran out of there with dust at my heels.

Move on now and either go back or don't. You cannot pre empt everything in life.

@halava thank you.

Walking a dog in a cemetery? Respect for the dead? I understand if one takes a dog to the owner's grave, but walking a dog?

"My dogs mess is picked up everytime, he has never and would never wee up the gravestones."

Such a perceptive and thoughtful dog. I've never met a dog that knows what a gravestone is, never mind one with such high morals and standards. He would never piss on one. Amazing. Your dog must be so embarrassed to be walked there then. Your friend is probably pretty embarrassed too.

For the fiftieth time, it doesn't matter that you pick up his stinking shit. It does matter that you take him there to do the shit while people mourn their loved ones.

So entitled.

Maybe he was a ghost.

You did the right thing in keaving as you felt uneasy but I feel that there are any number of reasons for him to be there, and only one of them is to cause you any harm. Try not to dwell on it.

You seem to have hung around a long time monitoring his behaviour whilst feeling threatened and frightened.

@ItWasOnAStarryNight look the cemetary is massive, If the dog does his business it is away from people. I tend to park my car and walk the dog where no one is about.
My dog loves walking in the cemetary, as do I and my friend is visiting her sons grave tomorrow while we are there, so no shes not embarassed to be there either.

@ilovesooty no was only there 5 minutes.

Log what? Nothing happened

Always trust your instincts. I always felt super uncomfortable around someone I worked with who everyone thought was the greatest guy on earth/salt of the earth type. From the moment I worked there I felt uncomfortable or distrustful - no reason just a gut feeling. Turned out I was right as working late one night six months later he insisted on walking me back to our on-site staff accommodation. I was on high alert but could not get away and yes he did sexually assault me but luckily for me despite it being late at night a site visitor came to my rescue. Only for that witness I dont think anyone would have believed me and I lost my job for reporting him to the police as I was tarnishing the company’s image. He was charged and it went to court and I heard several years later he was doing time for sexually abusing two young children. Always trust your instincts.

You did the right thing. Trust your instincts.

@Wtafdidido so sorry that happened to you & thank you.

@Loub1987
But OP is aware of social norms and decency and her dog and her are not part of wildlife? Or maybe...🤔

@frecklejuice

at one graveyard I have 8 graves of grandparents, uncles, aunts & 10 or so of the generation above Grandparents.

when I go, I only take flower etc if it's my Nana's birthday. Usually I'll stop by the 8 graves though & a couple of times a year, ALL of them.

@IveGotToGoToMeDads

I'll look at others there, especially if they have a dog 🐶 (because I like them! Not because I don't think they should be there!).

it strikes me as very peculiar people think it's disrespectful to take a dog... weird.

even if it wees/poops (as long as you pick up the poo) it's no worse than cats, squirrels, foxes or rats....🙄🙄

He was probably looking so see why a random women with a dog was staring at him.

There's no hope. And it's exactly as I said at the beginning, entitled dog owners who know their dog makes others upset as they mourn their loved ones.

The OP insists it is ok because her dog has high standards 🤪 and her anxiety trumps everything else.

Most people, including your friend, probably won't say anything even though they are struggling with the disrespect on the inside.

Why don't you leave the dog at home tomorrow OP? Go visit your friends DCs grave without taking your snappy dog to shit all over their memory (yes, that is exactly how I feel when it happens to me).

Never feel bad about leaving a space with an unknown man in it. (Or a known one, before anyone comes at me with "it's more likely to be a man you know". The reason for that is they simply have greater opportunity).

Good men that I know have become far more enlightened and thoughtful around how their physical presence is perceived by lone women in public. Especially in isolated places or at night. Hell, even my ancient dad considers this. It's not as if the news isn't full of the violence that women have to face. It's not being kept secret from men. And, it's also a key part of being a mammal. Watch how dogs behave to let each other know they're not a threat. And how they behave towards each other when they clearly are a threat.

Men that don't do this are already waving a red flag in my opinion. Some men who don't consider the effect of their presence on women will obviously be off their head, mentally ill or otherwise preoccupied. But that's no reason to feel you need to stay near them if you don't want to.

You can't really moan that he had no flowers and was walking round a graveyard and not looking at graves

You were there doing the same thing but with a dog.

It could just be one of those awkward moments where you stop and start at the same time but only you were there, we weren't, so if you're convinced that he was following you and intimidated you to the point you were frightened then maybe put an anonymous post on the local Facebook page to let everyone else know.

Oh and keep your dog muzzled if you know they are prone to biting.

Regardless of if it was all completely innocent, you felt something wasn't right, and you got out of there. You did the right thing, you can't be too careful.

Why?

You’re unhappy walking there, so why do it?

Not that anything happened.

I think you are probably over thinking this OP, but you always have to put your safety first and foremost so you did the right thing by leaving.

I used to have to walk my dog through the cemetery to get the local park from where I lived, i used to keep him on a short lead and we used to walk straight through, everyday I used to see people letting their dogs run all over the graves and shitting/weeing everywhere, people walking on graves to clear up mess, people shouting their dogs etc.. it is so disrespectful and they were oblivious.

I can understand people there grieving loved ones being furious at seeing people walking dogs through there, and letting them mess etc, or some people (as evident on this thread) don't agree with dogs in there at all, he could have been one of those.

But she’s going back tomorrow and too wirrrued to go on her own.

why go back?