Would you be offended if someone asked you whether you were over 60’s?

[WhatDoYouThink789]

I’d really love to hear people’s opinions on this!

If you went to the cinema to purchase a ticket to watch a film and the sales assistant said, ‘Is that 1 Adult ticket or 1 Over 60’s ticket?’ would you be offended by that? Bearing in mind you’re not actually over 60’s but 53.

For context, an Adult ticket costs £13.70 and an Over 60’s ticket costs £10.70. How would you feel about that line of questioning?

YABU - that’s a really offensive question and shouldn’t be asked.

YANBU - there’s nothing wrong with the question as the staff member needs to charge the correct price

I got asked last week if I wanted the over 65 ticket. I'm 55.

I can't lie, I was a bit offended. They had a very clear list of prices on the desk that she saw me looking at. If I'd wanted a concession ticket I'd have asked for it, there was no need to ask.

We live in a narcissistic society as well though. Many are obsessed to the point of illness how they look. Hence all the Botox, liposuction, Turkey Teeth, arse lifts and other intrusive procedures.

I remember an initial pang, and then amusement, when I was first asked that question (and I hadn't yet hit the magic number). But the person asking was young, so I wasn't offended.

I do think that it would be better for staff at your cinema to ask "do you qualify for any concessions?" though @WhatDoYouThink789 . Asking "are you over 60?" is a bit blunt.

Say we have concessions for X Y and Z.

Yeah, that isn't any more tactful.

Not that I'd be offended either way, but I would think that someone saying "We have concessions for X Y and Z" was being twee and mealy-mouthed and unable to ask a basic question. I'd much prefer "Is that 1 Adult ticket or 1 Over 60’s ticket?"

I'm 54 FWIW.

I like the simple "any concessions?" in a previous post. It's casual, not pointed, and could be asked of everyone buying a ticket, not just people who look older.

What’s grey hair got to do with it?

I’d probably be mildly crushed, but I know that’s silly.

I think that first time when someone thinks you’re older than you are can be a bit of a shock but, as a pp said, people can appear older than they are to younger people.

I wouldn’t be offended but I’d give an internal wail of despair.

I'd be a bit put out but I'm 44. I honestly wouldn't think about this op...it doesn't matter.

No, I wouldn't think a couple of years but definitely whether they are in forties, fifties or sixties but I'm not sure if that's because all his friends parents are 50 plus and we are early -mid 40s so he's more aware that we are the youngest as it were and DH particularly young around here where I'd say the average Dad for an 18 year old is mid to late 50s.

Tbh OP is just doing her job, although going forward I wouldn’t even ask id just leave it up to the customer to ask about concessions unless it was really obvious

I.e he is more aware of age as his friends remark on it sometimes, one of the Dad's of his friends is old enough to be our Dad!

I got given a pensioners' ticket without being asked on a tourist train in Spain. I didn't even know it was an option, I just asked for two adults with my 70 year old mum stood next to me. I was about 42. It's one of my mum's favourite stories to retell. It didn't cross my mind to complain, I was happy with the €2 saving!

Maybe you could phrase it like "Just checking before I overcharge you - you're not a student, over-60, under-18...?" Sounds a bit more like a general script than singling them out as looking old enough for the pensioner special.

"Grey hair? Saggy jowels? Smell of tena lady in the air?"

Great, ageism in action.

I'd say yes and buy the cheaper ticket.
I am 45.

The further away from your age someone is, the harder it is to tell what age they are. You probably couldn't tell a 25 year old from a 32 year old for example. You also probably couldn't tell an 80 year old from an 87 year old.

I have this problem all the time in France because you get discounted/free museums if you're under 25 and they always ask my age and I embarrassingly have to say to a whole queue of people that I'm 39 and they always look shocked and the person asking is embarrassed. So I know it's awful. My partner is actually 3 years younger than me and never gets asked.

And yes they ask for proof for age-restricted things so you can't pretend to be older or younger.

To be honest, yes I would be a bit offended (I am 53 next month!). But I still wouldn't agree that " it is a really offensive question that shouldn't be asked". It's not a big deal.

Actually my DH would might be slightly offended too! Even though he is 63 and does ask for an over 60s ticket if there is one. But he likes to think he looks younger.

I don't think it is a big deal whether they check or not tbh. I'm sure they meant to be helpful.

You don't have to say to a whole queue of people that you are 39. You just need to say no you are not under 25. Be honest, you're showing off a bit! (I would too)

I have grandchildren, and I still couldn't tell you whether a child is four or six, off the bat. Yet when my kids were small I couldn't understand people not being able to tell their age.

I do remember the first time a young person stood up to offer me their seat on a metro. I'm afraid that I found that a shock, and it took a while for me to get my head round it. I was in a country where the culture is very much about respect for your elders, so I tried to take that as the reason!

I worked in a bingo hall in my youth and over 55s got a 10p discount on admission, over 80s were free. Unless they were comparatively young 30s. They all looked pretty ancient to my 16 yo eyes. Just take the discount op.

Grey hair is a universal unmissable signifier of old age, an objective fact that you can't kid yourself about, and isn't an insult.
If I were asking for questions from an audience, I might ask to hear from "the lady with the grey hair" but I definitely wouldn't ask to hear from "the lady with the wrinkles/sagging jowls".

In this context, someone who's looking quickly at a thirty something with prematurely white hair might ask that question, and the thirty-something would say "no, it's just my hair" and probably laugh.

I’m 37 so I would be offended. If it was an over 40s ticket I was being offered, I wouldn’t be offended but it might bum me out a bit!

Over 60s is 70+

Over 60 is 60+

Big difference!

I don't think it is rude, age is hard to guess, and getting it wrong is just a mistake. It has happened me, I felt miffed that I looked older than any real age but I never thought it was rude.

It's a ridiculous thing to complain about