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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take a sick day for mental health tomorrow?

94 replies

PrueHal · 29/09/2024 23:40

Recently my mental health has been rough. Two months ago I took a week off work to get some relaxation in but 2 days in I caught covid and was pretty bad with it. So the holiday didn't feel like a holiday.

Work has been cracking the whip, think several late nights and early mornings. This is eating into my own business I've started which is gaining traction and also taking over my weekends.

On top of this the house is a tip and I'm so busy working I can't get on top of it. I thought I'd have to cancel plans with my partner on Sat because I felt so tearful and wrung out.

This weekend I broke out in hives on my left side which has happened twice in recent weeks for the first time ever. My partner is convinced this a stress response.

All this said I don't like lying! AIBU?

OP posts:
Scutterbug · 29/09/2024 23:42

It sounds like you need it. Do you have to lie? Mental health issues are just as valid as physical ones x

Namebechanged · 29/09/2024 23:42

Tbh why are you asking MN? If you want to doit just do it - no one will be any the wiser.

Original poster
PrueHal · 29/09/2024 23:43

Not sure @Scutterbug

My boss is lovely but I'm not sure how she'd react if I say it's for mental health reasons

OP posts:
Original poster
PrueHal · 29/09/2024 23:44

@Scutterbug but you're right. I don't feel mentally 'well'.

I want to spend the day making a plan to get back on track and de-stress but I know as soon as Monday comes the insanity will start all over again

OP posts:
Shallysally · 29/09/2024 23:48

Please listen to your body. Take the time off, be honest with your boss as you may find that you need more than a day.

StarlightExpressed · 29/09/2024 23:49

Sounds like you have too much on the go and it's stressing you out. You need to sort the cause ie. if you're working full -time, trying to run a business on the side and run a house (with kids?) then this would stress most people out. That's not really mental health issues, that's just a busy life. I really feel people need to understand stress and emotions are a normal part of human nature and a response to situations. It doesn't mean we all have mental health issues.

ChiffandBipper · 29/09/2024 23:49

I thinknyouvare over thinking it. If you have been working all hours, can you claim the time back? If not, call in sick. No need to disclose what is wrong. If they ask, just say "It was a 24hr thing" and leave it at that. Or if you don't want to do that, then book it as leave.

Original poster
PrueHal · 29/09/2024 23:50

Ugh Ive just remembered I have an important meeting tomorrow. I mean others will attend and it will happen without me but I forgot about that.

I am totally exhausted. Even slept 8 hours and woke up feeling trashed today.

OP posts:
honeyfox · 29/09/2024 23:51

Do it. I did it one day last week and said it was a vomiting bug. I just needed it. I would do this very rarely.

cantpullthetrigger · 29/09/2024 23:55

You've overstretched yourself with trying to set up your own business on the side without getting your lifestyle organised first to make sufficient space for it.

I recognise you need to take a break but this is from overloading and not mental health.

It does a disservice to those struggling with actual mental health to have everyone wheel this out as a reason every time our busy lives feel a bit too much.

Not debating you need some time off though. And moreso some consideration on how to make things more manageable going forward so you can deal with the occasional busy period at work as and when they arise.

Original poster
PrueHal · 29/09/2024 23:58

@cantpullthetrigger I understand what you're saying. I didn't expect the business to take off as quickly as it has.

However I have suffered from genuine mental health problems in the past and have previously had a breakdown. So I'm very sensitive to feeling that familiar spiral downwards - which yes, this time has been triggered by overloading myself and can't continue.

OP posts:
OhMaria2 · 29/09/2024 23:59

Just say that you really don't feel well. If anyone asks just say you don't know whats up , that you just felt ill and had come out in a rash, but feel much better now thank you.

Take the day, you need it

murasaki · 30/09/2024 00:01

It does sound as if you're taking a sick day from your main job because your burn out is due to you you not taking down time because of your other business. That's not really fair on your employer, you need to balance this better, or do one or the other.

FasterMichelin · 30/09/2024 00:03

Sounds like you need to re-evaluate your working hours, not call in with mental health issues.

This type of thing undermines genuine mental health issues and absence.

Original poster
PrueHal · 30/09/2024 00:03

My actual job has been overloading me as well. As well as the late nights and early mornings they also fired someone 2 weeks ago and a few of us have absorbed her duties.

I'm overloaded because my job is overloading me AND because of the new business I've started

OP posts:
hopsalong · 30/09/2024 00:10

Call in sick. But don't say it's for mental health reasons. People judge you and remember it (I have experience). Say something innocuous and short-lived which no one wants to get: Covid or food poisoning.

SleepPrettyDarling · 30/09/2024 00:13

You know you’re at risk of burnout from your previous history, and you’re already displaying a stress response. Take the day, but I think you need to reevaluate your priorities.

itsalwaysthesame · 30/09/2024 00:13

I know what you mean but.... it is a bit rude to take time off sick, as you've prioritised your business rather than resting, this has made you exhausted.

If work are overloading you, speak to your manager, prioritise more sleep so you can tackle your busy lifestyle

Obbydoo · 30/09/2024 00:15

PrueHal · 29/09/2024 23:58

@cantpullthetrigger I understand what you're saying. I didn't expect the business to take off as quickly as it has.

However I have suffered from genuine mental health problems in the past and have previously had a breakdown. So I'm very sensitive to feeling that familiar spiral downwards - which yes, this time has been triggered by overloading myself and can't continue.

You have overloaded yourself by building your own business but, if you call in sick tomorrow, it is someone else's business that will lose out. I can see why you may need time out but surely it should be your own business that you take time out from. It isn't your employer that is causing you issues its the addition of your own business. Be fair to your employer, go to work, do the work they are paying you to do and then find a way to create a better work/life balance by cutting your hours officially or dropping down the hours you're spending on your business. You can't do both.

Zemu · 30/09/2024 00:18

If I call in sick I never tell them what is wrong with me. Just when I am likely to be back, if I know. My medical issues are private. Even doctors just write “ x is suffering from a medical condition and will be unfit for work from date to date” when they do a sick note.

ClairDeLaLune · 30/09/2024 00:18

Obbydoo · 30/09/2024 00:15

You have overloaded yourself by building your own business but, if you call in sick tomorrow, it is someone else's business that will lose out. I can see why you may need time out but surely it should be your own business that you take time out from. It isn't your employer that is causing you issues its the addition of your own business. Be fair to your employer, go to work, do the work they are paying you to do and then find a way to create a better work/life balance by cutting your hours officially or dropping down the hours you're spending on your business. You can't do both.

Show quote history

This ⬆️ Pretty lousy thing to do to call in sick with MH issues when they’re of your own making.

Original poster
PrueHal · 30/09/2024 00:21

ClairDeLaLune · 30/09/2024 00:18

This ⬆️ Pretty lousy thing to do to call in sick with MH issues when they’re of your own making.

Show quote history

Goodness I'm finding some of these responses a bit harsh.

I suppose others have never felt overwhelmed of their 'own making'?

I can't remember the last time I took a sick day at work. About 1.5 years ago I think due to COVID.

OP posts:
friendlycat · 30/09/2024 00:23

Obbydoo · 30/09/2024 00:15

You have overloaded yourself by building your own business but, if you call in sick tomorrow, it is someone else's business that will lose out. I can see why you may need time out but surely it should be your own business that you take time out from. It isn't your employer that is causing you issues its the addition of your own business. Be fair to your employer, go to work, do the work they are paying you to do and then find a way to create a better work/life balance by cutting your hours officially or dropping down the hours you're spending on your business. You can't do both.

Show quote history

Honestly this. You’ve put yourself in a difficult situation and need to find a way of reducing your overload. You realistically can’t do two jobs at once.

murasaki · 30/09/2024 00:23

You need to park your currently unviable business until you are strong enough to deal with it. Not take the piss out of the company that pays you.

ClairDeLaLune · 30/09/2024 00:25

PrueHal · 30/09/2024 00:21

Goodness I'm finding some of these responses a bit harsh.

I suppose others have never felt overwhelmed of their 'own making'?

I can't remember the last time I took a sick day at work. About 1.5 years ago I think due to COVID.

Show quote history

Sorry, probably didn’t word it very well. Plus am a bit biased because I haven’t taken any time off sick in my 6 years of work and am under a shit load of stress. I just think that weekends are the time for relaxing from your paid job and if you’re working on your own stuff at the weekend and you’re burning out because of that then why should it be your employer that pays for that?