Manners - do you do any/all of these things?

[Nostalgianostalgic]

Is it bad manners to not do any of these things?

Tucking your chair in when you've left a table

Putting your basket back after using the self checkout in the supermarket

Closing doors and drawers after opening them

Stacking plates/bowls and rubbish in a restaurant after a meal to make it easier for the server to collect/clear up

Don’t plate stack

It doesn’t help the wait staff. They have own systems to manage how they carry things. You mess it up and make it harder, messier, heavier …

And it’s bad manners

I used to be a waitress amd that definitely wasn't true of me... I was SO grateful if anyone cared to gibe me a hand bu stacking things for me!

No, we don't stack any plates but we do lick them clean to save the kitchen having to wash them.

(I have to say it would be a darn sight easier if we had a dog to do the licking for us, but hey-ho that's just a cross we have to bear.)

This is about neatness not manners, surely? I don't always remember to close drawers or tuck in my chair in my own home, and I don't think of that behaviour as ill-mannered. I put my basket away in the supermarket but wouldn't think it was 'rude' not to. Waiting staff prefer customers not to stack plates so I don't.

Agreed. I'm surprised at how many waiting staff on here don't seem to like that. When I was a waitress I though yhe customer's who didn't stack plates were quite rude and selfish actually!

I always stacked plates (no napkins, no lumps of food being squashed, in the same size, not towers), cutlery neat and everything to the side. It was exactly the way that I'd done when waiting on tables when DD1 was little.

My ex had a go at me about it because doing that was scummy - somebody might think his woman was only a waitress and why the fuck would I be considerate of somebody as worthless as a waitress in any case?

I still stack the plates.

I do all of them.
Common courtesy to tuck your chair in and stack your plates up, I don't get why people wouldn't

Nobody? Well that's not true is it...

I do all apart from stacking of the plates which my husband does, despite me telling him not to. Although saying that I would stack them in a tapas situation when we're running out of space.

I tell him not to because I used to work in a Spoons and as a waitress I would really rather you didn't, although if I'm honest I'm not sure why?

Definitely not to stacking plates - used to drive me nuts when I waitressed as a student. Apart from the obvious point that it made much harder to pick them up, it was also messy / disgusting as it frequently made it impossible to collect plates without getting food or sauce on one's hands.

And yes, it looks terrible: the table should as though you've enjoyed a good meal, not as if it's a dumping ground for tableware next to the washing machine. If you work hard to ensure the restaurant looks smart, you certainly don't want your efforts undermined in this way. It looks really common.

The only time it's appropriate is when a server is actively collecting your plates and you pass the hard-to-reach ones over.

Also, when I visit restaurant it's not my job - it's theirs.

I’ve never heard of plate stacking (sounds rather lowbrow) but I do the rest of course.

How is it rude not to stack your plates, that's a weird way to look at it.

Its a pet hate of mine when people start faffing with the plates like that. Of course you don't allow the wait person to contort themselves to reach your plate when you could pass it over but making like you're at home getting stuff ready for the dishwasher, definitely no from me

I do all but stacking plates only if at a big table where servers struggle to get around or similar situation where it’s clearly easier for them.

*dishwasher

Yes, I hand my plate over if it's clear it'll make it easier, when in a big party for example. But stacking everything is not expected in a restaurant and is not good manners.

1 to 4, but not 5. I'm never sure if stacking is helpful to waiting staff. Some say it isn't. I try to be courteous to them by tidying any excess mess and giving a decent tip.

I do all , except stacking plates in a restaurant
I used to work in hospitality, believe me , it doesn’t help

All of them, except the last.

I do all of them. The plate stacking is a bit dependent on which restaurant, but I'll always gather cutlery, serviettes, dropped food etc onto plates before they take them.

I do all of these things, although I don't leave things between dishes as mentioned, but wouldn't class any of them as manners just normal things really.

I never leave a serviette behind that I've used, to me that would be showing myself to have bad manners, purely because I'd not want to touch something that someone had wiped their mouth/hands or even blown their nose, I don't do that one though, on so I'd not expect anyone to do so.

All except the last, that is just odd. It is the waiting staff's job to do that and stacking would be indicative of impatience and could therefore potentially cause offence. I do however pass them my plate etc if it is awkward for them to get to it (weird table placement, banquette seating etc).

definitely do first three, definitely don’t do the last - have always been told it’s bad manners to stack plates in a restaurant and I cringe if I’m out with someone who does. Of course I would try and be helpful and pass things along a large table etc

I do if there is one of those, like in Ikea, but my local M&S and Costa are the only ones I go to regularly and neither has one, the staff collect the dirty crockery on trays.
There is actually a cafe in my town with a sign asking customers to please leave their dirty crockery on their table.

I actually think manners are difficult to define - I think people with truly good manners can put others at their ease, and enable social situations to run more easily. So, it's less a formula of Do X, don't do Y, and more a way of being.

Peak MN 😄