Friend turned up unannounced with cooking equipment

[Ellienellie19]

Silly really but one of my fiends went to a gathering with me on Friday evening. We baked at her house before hand and I left some cooking equipment at hers. Went to gathering with intention that I would go back to hers and sleep over, and obviously take said equipment back to mine. But she ended up leaving early, went home and then I went home separately. I had plans most of yesterday (she knew about) and she offered to drop round after. I said yes but then she said never mind, I’ve gone out. Fine. I left my phone off this morning for some peace and a lie in. However I turned my phone on and she said yu can come whenever you’re ready. Fine. I need a shower, to brush my teeth and get dressed as I hate people coming into my home when I’m being a slouch. But as I was about to shower she turned up at my door (another family member answered) asking to see me as I have her stuff. Wouldn’t leave so now she is waiting in my house while I am having a shower and not ready. It’s stupid I know but I feel a little invaded? She has turned up unannounced before. Am I being unreasonable to be uncomfortable with this?

why won't she leave the items when she's already been let in to the house? call her from the bathroom, say sorry can't come downstairs now, just the leave the stuff with family member, thanks.

Ask your partner or child to give her the stuff back?

Whether you want her there or not she’s your guest. Why are you posting on MN and leaving her standing around like a lemon.

Give over, she's not a guest. She's there to drop something off but wouldn't do so to the person who let her in and is being a PITA loitering while OP wants a lie-in. Anyone who turns up at your house doesn't become a guest who dictates what gets done. I'd just stick my head down from upstairs and shout 'thanks for dropping it off, I'm not in a fit state to come down, I'll see you another time.'

@Wentie I think you need to look up "rotting in bed". It's generally a whole-day activity as opposed to just a lie-in. (Which in MN land is only 9am anyway!)

This thread is so weird.

Tbh, I find it odd that while she’s downstairs, you’re upstairs taking time on your phone to start a thread, responding to comments and complaining about her, and not just tell her you’ll drop over to her later or jump in shower and meet her for a cup of tea…

I don’t think it’s a much of a big deal

OK yes that is a bit weird

Bed Rotting is a TikTok phrase and can actually involve staying in bed/PJs for the whole weekend.

Tell us more about the gathering, OP.

Was it a group of enthusiastic bakers? Or a Chalet School Appreciation group? Morris Dancers? You're all members of the same Scottish clan?

You got confused and forgot you were trying to write a reverse? 🫣

wtf have I just read….can your other family member not just take the stuff? Don’t understand why she needed to come in tbh. Just nip down, say thanks very much, got stuff to do now, you have a nice day….

Went down and got it. She is a bit of a queen bee, made some comments about my appearance while I was down there that I really didn’t need. My job is all over the place in terms of hours and I am self conscious about the state the house is in and feeling unwashed around someone who is quite well groomed and sneery.

The gathering was for the birthday of a mutual friend and we baked a cake. Anyway it’s done now so the thread can be put to rest. Just felt really patronized and uncomfortable and invaded.

Yesterday was fab "GRWM" posts from a lovely funny MNer anticipating her first shag of the year.

Today I'm stuck in a bathroom with a mad person.

Anyone else waiting for a thread from the friend downstairs? 🤣

I wouldn't imagine 'rotting' in bed either....probably because that's not what they're doing. 🫣

OMG I'd forgotten that this is MN, where nobody answers the door.

Presumably your family member who let the woman in isn't a Mumsnetter, and doesn't realise this.

I'm confused. Did you leave your stuff at hers, or she left her stuff at yours?
I guess if the latter she might have needed to use it that day for something, so simply thought she could pop round and quickly grab it. She might have been cooking with it later that day.
If it was her returning your stuff, then she should have just waited until you were ready to receive it collect it, by arrangement. Or just left it with the person who answered the door.
It seems rude to just turn up when you explicitly said you were not ready yet, either way. You'll just have to tell her please don't just knock round. Most people would know not to do such things but I guess she needs it reinforcing.

This is so fucking stupid.

Just walk downstairs, say thanks for bringing the stuff, and show her out.

So many people in MN are incapable of normal human interactions in their own home. You're making her sit there pointlessly while you post about her on MN, get a grip.

So not only do MNetters not open the door to postmen et al, they don’t open the door to friends either.

All you needed was a quick teeth brush (and a dressing gown if need be). She’s your friend, she won’t (or shouldn’t) care.

Don’t be ridiculous ,7am at the latest ! 😂

I'm with you OP. If I'd have been in her shoes I wouldn't dream of expecting you to come downstairs and 'receive' the items. Really unnecessary. She should just have left them with whoever answered the door. Very odd behaviour.

She cared enough to make a comment.

You've not been invaded. She's done you a favour bringing your stuff back. If you're happy in your choice to stay in pyjamas all day then own it and you can confidently chat to her while in them. If you're not then make a decision to be dressed before the afternoon.

It's her fault that she's sitting there pointlessly (or was) - not OP's.

Only on MN are you weird for liking privacy and/or down time.
OP you should have just shouted down that you couldn't come to the door, but thanks so much for dropping my stuff.