To wonder how on earth they will sentence a 96 year old?!

[dreamer24]

news.sky.com/story/woman-96-admits-causing-death-of-pedestrian-after-she-panicked-and-mounted-the-kerb-13204265

A 96 year old woman killed a woman in her 70s after she lost control of her car. Due to be sentenced on Monday, apparently. It's obviously completely tragic that a woman has died, but I can't imagine a woman who is almost 100 will get a custodial sentence?

I'm here with my mum at the moment. I can't actually stop her driving. If I report her, she'll know it was me as I'm the only "sane" passenger she ever has, and that will be then end of our relationship. Her doctor won't talk to me as I don't have power of attorney and mum won't agree to me having it. As far as she's concerned, no accidents means she's safe.

She's also my dad's primary carer, and they live rurally. No licence will have a massive impact on my dad's level of care. Public transport is very unreliable in their area. There's little chance of children in the road near there, more likely she'll miss a pothole and catch it hard.

I'm hoping her attitude changes when he passes.

@laraitopbanana You can’t stop people needing to drive

You literally can stop someone though.

There's little chance of children in the road near there

Yeah, it’s absolutely fine to put adults at risk of injury or death, isn’t it?

Exactly and you’ll also get kids in their parents cars who will be at risk if the posters mum is not a competent driver. So kids won’t be necessarily safe either.

If my relationship with someone was going tp end by simply reporting them if I didn’t feel they were safe drivers I’d go ahead and do it because what kind of relationship is that? If they genuinely believe they’re a safe driver , they won’t be afraid of the authorities taking a closer look surely?

Yeah I can see how it would cause friction and initial arguments, but what kind of a parent would end a relationship with their child for that? Is there a backstory to this @PeepDeBeaul

Since you obviously have experience in this situation, how did you get your elderly isolated relative who relies on their car to give up driving?

Using guilt and FOG to get what you want doesn't work...ever. Your response is full of both of those. I need practical advice, not guilt trips and emotional blackmail.

We pushed my grandfather to go to a driving assessment centre, highlighting that if there are measures to help him be safe they prefer to install those. That meant there was an objective assessment that his eyesight was too bad.

If they are sensitive to cost, a gp can refer for free.

then the car was sold fast!!

@PeepDeBeaul is there community transport in your area? We’re in a village and there’s reasonable coverage. The hospital also has a transport system for this kind of thing for FIL to get to routine appointments. Failing that it’s taxis, friends and family. There’s normally someone in a rural area who likes to volunteer for this sort of thing.

Local governments need to develop reliable and affordable public transportation systems to reduce the reliance of older adults on driving. As people age, they may face physical or cognitive challenges that make driving unsafe, increasing the risk of accidents. Accessible public transportation offers a safer, more convenient alternative, helping seniors maintain their independence and mobility without endangering themselves or others.

@PeepDeBeaul I helped my mum decide to stop driving but it was more because of the stress driving and running a car were causing her than safety at that stage, and she wasn’t resistant to the idea so I haven’t been in your difficult position.

Things I would try in your position are

• working out and costing all alternative transport options and going through these with her
• discussing a few of these awful cases with her and asking her to think about and tell you how she would feel if she killed someone. Tell her how you would feel if you had to attend court or an inquest if she killed someone and admit you knew she was a danger. Tell her how you would feel if an unfit driver killed your child/husband/friend/delete as appropriate
• refusing to get in the car with her
• has she got a friend or sister she might listen to?

If all else failed and I knew she was a danger on the roads I would report her to the DVLA. I would not feel able to put my relationship with my mother before some innocent person’s life.

The community transport service was stopped due to lack of volunteer drivers. The hospital transport service is rubbish. They leave you waiting for hours and have caused folk to miss appointments. Mum used it for her knee op. 2 hrs to do a 40 min drive, with her not able to straighten that knee fully during the journey. She was in a lot of pain on that drive. NHS funding is apparently to blame.

Brain function does not decline in such a uniform way that a clear cutoff for removing licenses or retesting older people can be supported. It’s not the only influence on driving ability; miles driven across a lifetime is key. You could argue that people who haven’t driven regularly in a variety of circumstances need to be retested. The stories of elderly driver incidents make the news but sadly people are killed on the roads everyday, more so by young inexperienced drivers.

My mum, trusts no one, not even me ~(shes been betrayed a lot in her life!). Her only close friend is my dad, she's going to be lost without him. They have chosen to live away from relatives too. I'm 200 miles away! I have no siblings to share the burden. It's my word against hers that she's not safe.

I like the idea of the driving assessment centre. Does anyone know how to set that up? I might be able to sell that as a "prove me wrong" moment.

Clearly a suspended sentence would be enough to truamatise her. She has the memory to her last days.

Clearly a suspended sentence would be enough to truamatise her. She has the memory to her last days.

Do you have any evidence for that or is it just the usual MN ageism? There are people over 60 driving for living.

It's very difficult informing the authorities that someone isn't safe to drive - who do you tell? I wrote to DVLA about a friend who has a brain tumour, he gets confused and lost and obviously wasn't fit to drive. What shocked me was that he's got a wife and adult kids nearby who should have acted sooner. DVLA wrote back and said they couldn't act on anything I told them. Luckily I heard a few weeks' later that he'd given up driving.

Lots of interesting data on this webpage. This graph shows that the casualty rate per mile for drivers over 86 is higher than for men aged 17 to 24, with the rate for women aged 81 to 85 not far behind.

https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/reported-road-casualties-great-britain-older-and-younger-driver-factsheets-2022/reported-road-casualties-in-great-britain-older-driver-factsheet-2022

(nb this graph only shows the casualty rate for the driver, not any others involved in the accident)

The graph in my previous post (government figures) would suggest that the decline starts in the 70s rather than the 60s.

Where I'm from you have to renew your drivers licence every 5 years after 65. At the moment it is a doctors check up. But there are talks introducing a driving test. My mum just turned 75 and had to go the the GP for the driving check up. They checked eyesight, cognitive abilities and reaction times.

I honestly find it complete madness that anyone would object to this!

No, you're right - people should just die, so elderly people who are not fit to drive can maintain their independence. How stupid we all are. A woman is dead. Have some compassion. And yes, I do drive my dad around and would help any of my neighbours who needed a lift.

Sounds really sensible. We should do that here.

Search “driving assessment centre” And your area. Hopefully that will give you one! I know the city my grandfather was in had one

I kinda think this is one of the considerations when choosing a place to live. I've chosen my location based on public transportation, local services and if there are ambulance stations/a&e. There is a reason why elderly downsize and getflats in bigger towns. I defo think the public transportstion in village should eb teer and there should be service shuttle busses that are available. But since it is not reality at the moment, I won't consider locations where the closest ambulance station is hours away or I'm stuck in the house if I can't drive.

I knew an elderly driver who was forced to give up driving at 94 as his insurance company refused to give him a quote. He was an exceptionally careful driver and hadn't had an accident his whole life.