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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School bus driver refused to drop my daughter home

492 replies

Theherringbones · 26/09/2024 21:09

My year 9 daughter gets the school bus service home from school everyday. Its a private service for her school only and It’s about a 50 minute journey.

Tonight there is an unusual amount of traffic on the roads. The driver refused to drop my daughter at her (home) stop as it would take him too long to get there. He said he would drop her somewhere 15 minutes away and she would have to have someone pick her up. She was in tears in the phone to me. The usual 50 minute trip took him about 80 minutes.

The bus stop she was dropped at is a clear run to our home as it’s the back roads and there was no traffic on them. I know that it would have taken him an extra 15 minutes to drop her home, but it is his job!

I was stuck in the middle of the traffic in the opposite direction, trying to collect my other child and had to make all sorts of crazy arrangements with friends to get to her. Luckily I made it just in time.

I had words with him and he was completely rude, ignorant, aggressive and arrogant about it. He refused to give me his name and said it would have take him too long to take her home (it would have been an extra time for him) and there wasn’t another option.

How can a private bus service that is the only reason she can attend this school, refuse to drop her home? Am I being unreasonable or should he have dropped her home, no matter what?!

OP posts:
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7
snowmichael · 27/09/2024 23:19

jigglywigglyhungryhippo · 26/09/2024 21:21

If she was the only one- then YANBU

YABU If he had other kids- then I think what he did was sensible; he asked her to ring you. I don't get why your daughter would be in tears though unless she has anxiety/etc. He has to get all the kids home, and if he had to do a 15 min diversion for every child, he'd be working over his hours due to the traffic.

What if a nine year old doesn't have a phone?
None of my nieces and nephews got one til they were thirteen - it was practically a teenager rite of passage - and those of their friends that did were seen as a bit odd or ostentatious

And abandoning a pre-teen on a quiet back road a mile from home?
YANBU - this could have ended up as a very heartbreaking headline

DragonGypsyDoris · 27/09/2024 23:21

Pogue4Life · 27/09/2024 19:27

All these people who think it was okay for him to leave a young child at a completely different bus stop are morons.
He is a school bus driver not a friggin HGV driver. He won’t have been driving ALL day. Once he’s done his drops in the morning he then doesn’t drive until pick up time!!
let’s hope none of your children get on his bus and are dropped off in a random place all because he would have to drive for an extra 15 minutes

Utter tripe. So you think that a bus and a driver just do nothing all day?

DragonGypsyDoris · 27/09/2024 23:22

snowmichael · 27/09/2024 23:19

What if a nine year old doesn't have a phone?
None of my nieces and nephews got one til they were thirteen - it was practically a teenager rite of passage - and those of their friends that did were seen as a bit odd or ostentatious

And abandoning a pre-teen on a quiet back road a mile from home?
YANBU - this could have ended up as a very heartbreaking headline

Show quote history

The kid is Y9, not 9 years old. Read the original post.

Treesinmygarden · 27/09/2024 23:23

DragonGypsyDoris · 27/09/2024 23:21

Utter tripe. So you think that a bus and a driver just do nothing all day?

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Some drivers are on p/t contracts...

snowmichael · 27/09/2024 23:27

Hyperbowl · 26/09/2024 22:00

This is completely irrelevant. She may not have had her phone, it may have been dead and she may not have been able to contact anyone and would have been left on her own because all of the other children who would get off at that stop would naturally go home.

There will be a contract between the school and the bus company that will obligate them to report changes to stops in advance to the school so it can be communicated to the parents for safeguarding reasons. They have a duty of care. What do you think would happen if a child got dropped off randomly and got lost as a result? 15 minutes away isn’t even local to the original stop. Not all children are streetwise and have good coping skills in an unexpected situation. It wasn’t an emergency situation, he chose to change the designated route on a whim and expected to be able to clock off early I would well imagine. He wouldn’t give his name as he didn’t expect to be caught out and doesn’t want to have to reap the repercussions of his actions; not because he thinks someone may put it on Mumsnet thread. 🙄 Besides, if you’re not going to cause safeguarding risks to children then you have nothing to fear by giving your name should you? If you were him of course. Also If he believed he was in the right he would have calmly explained a valid reason for not dropping her at her designated stop instead of giving some vague nonsense excuse about traffic. He didn’t have a good reason and so he got defensive and was rude. Having words doesn’t mean that the OP was rude or aggressive in any manner unlike the bus driver himself.

OP, It shouldn’t be difficult to find out who it was if you give details of the bus route and driver’s description. With their contracts comes safeguarding obligations which he has failed to consider and act upon. The school could rightly withdraw the company’s contract over behaviour like this.

Edited
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100% correct in every point, and very lucidly expressed, too

Pogue4Life · 27/09/2024 23:28

DragonGypsyDoris · 27/09/2024 23:21

Utter tripe. So you think that a bus and a driver just do nothing all day?

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Some do actually I know a few who don’t have time to fit in another job. If they are in a privately operated bus for schools. They are going to be needed to collect buses again ready for collections and these are usually waiting outside the schools from 2.30ish

snowmichael · 27/09/2024 23:32

2k2j · 26/09/2024 22:33

Yes, on routes that they know.

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Or, given that OP is in the countryside, on routes that exist

snowmichael · 27/09/2024 23:36

DragonGypsyDoris · 27/09/2024 23:22

The kid is Y9, not 9 years old. Read the original post.

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I'm old enough to not have year X in my head

When I was at school mine was different names, and my sisters were year 11 for eleven year olds up to year 16 for sixteen year olds

So to me (incorrectly), year 9 = nine years old

ATenShun · 28/09/2024 00:35

Celt2024 · 28/09/2024 00:31

Reminder that there's no counter argument and there aren't always two sides. Child safety trumps all.

Remembering Daniel Morcombe, a 13 year old slaughtered by a pedo because a bus driver chose not to pick him up.

https://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/national/queensland/daniel-morcombe-murder-trial-woman-urged-bus-driver-to-stop-for-13yearold-20140219-330eu.html

We aren't in Australia 10 years ago. How many millions of teenagers have managed just fine since.

Celt2024 · 28/09/2024 00:55

ATenShun · 28/09/2024 00:35

We aren't in Australia 10 years ago. How many millions of teenagers have managed just fine since.

Show quote history

Reminder that there's no counter argument. Child safety trumps all.

Remembering Daniel Morcombe who was slaughtered by a pedo because the bus driver chose not to pick him up.

Celt2024 · 28/09/2024 01:59

There is, of course, no argument that can be made in defence of the bus driver on this occasion. In Australia, 13 year old Daniel Morcombe was slaughtered by a pedo because the bus driver chose not to stop for him. The Daniel Morcombe Foundation was later founded by his parents Bruce and Denise in his memory, reminding everyone that child safety trumps all. Day for Daniel occurs every year in October.

Daniel would have been 34 years old now. His twin brother and family have been forced to live their lives without him.

Daniel's slaughter by a pedophile because a bus driver chose to leave him stranded was a wholly preventable murder, which has caused immense and unfathomable suffering to his family.

https://www.nowtolove.com.au/news/local-news/daniel-morcombes-brave-twin-speaks-out-6134/

The Morcombe family foundation have developed safe resources for children, and helped to instigate a principal (not a law but usually followed) that no bus driver can leave a child behind, called the no child left behind rule in Australia.

https://danielmorcombe.com.au/keeping-kids-safe-resources/

There is no feasible counter discussion on this topic.

Child safety trumps all.

Daniel Morcombe's identical twin brother, Bradley opens up in emotional 2011 interview

The nightmare never fades for Daniel Morcombe's twin, Bradley. The two shared everything, until Daniel disappeared, devastating their family.

https://www.nowtolove.com.au/news/local-news/daniel-morcombes-brave-twin-speaks-out-6134

Coruscations · 28/09/2024 02:02

MibsXX · 27/09/2024 19:59

Partner is a school bus driver.... it depends on the service provided.. is the route door to door ( as in home) or is the route usually to the bus stop and he's been driving to home as a courtesy?

It's been clearly explained that the route is to a bus stop near OP's home. This is part of the driver's normal route, not a courtesy to OP or her child.

Coruscations · 28/09/2024 02:05

redskydarknight · 27/09/2024 20:06

Exactly. OP got there in time. Her daughter was not abandoned on her own as so many people on this thread keep stating.
Absolutely no one knows what the driver would have done if she hadn't turned up in time. That is for the OP to ascertain with the bus company.
You can't vilify a person on the basis they "might have" done something.

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He told the child he didn't have time to do the rest of the route, and that he was going to drop her at the other stop. Neither of those statements sound like a person who was prepared to hang around with the child for however long it might take for someone to pick her up, even if that took an hour. After all, if he was going to hang around that long it would be quicker to take her to her normal stop.

Coruscations · 28/09/2024 02:09

mm81736 · 27/09/2024 22:30

My point obviously is that the LEA clearly take the view that a child that age is competent to deal with the inevitable disruptions that are part and parcel of travelling on public transport

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Well no, they don't. By law they have to provide transport to a wide range of children who can't get to school on their own, and that includes large numbers who cannot cope with the vagaries of public transport due to conditions such as autism. The law correctly recognises that you can't assume that all children are the same.

Coruscations · 28/09/2024 02:12

ATenShun · 28/09/2024 00:35

We aren't in Australia 10 years ago. How many millions of teenagers have managed just fine since.

Show quote history

Are you seriously contending that child murderers have stopped operating in the last 10 years, or are confining their activities to Australia?

wanttogetadvice · 28/09/2024 02:18

Doesn't he have a duty of care? he was being ridiculous and I would ahve been annoyed as well. Report it to the School, raise a complaint with the school and the company. You are paying for your child to be dropped off at her home, not anywhere else. It's not a free service. He is not doing his job if he doesn't drop them off at the designated stop, no matter how long it takes.

ATenShun · 28/09/2024 02:23

Coruscations · 28/09/2024 02:12

Are you seriously contending that child murderers have stopped operating in the last 10 years, or are confining their activities to Australia?

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Exactly the opposite. I am pointing out that using this case (several times in this thread) isn't anywhere near a comparison to this situation. We cannot go through life with a totally 'what if' attitude. We would do nothing.

Celt2024 · 28/09/2024 02:24

Coruscations · 28/09/2024 02:12

Are you seriously contending that child murderers have stopped operating in the last 10 years, or are confining their activities to Australia?

Show quote history

Tbh, I took it to mean she doesn't care that a child was slaughtered because a bus driver chose not to do his job, which is why I didn't bother engaging properly.

In fact, every person on this thread arguing the inarguable - I assume they don't care if children are murdered.

Unfortunately, in life there really are some appalling individuals who don't care if children are murdered.

Anyone arguing that this driver was not completely in the wrong is a walking red flag.

autienotnaughty · 28/09/2024 03:14

It's appalling. I'd complain to the school and the company and I would be clear I wanted a response and explanation.

julesagain · 28/09/2024 04:03

There are too many unknown factors here for a full picture . Firstly, it is possible that the driver may have been close to or over driver hours. I have often started at 4 or 5 a.m., prior to a morning school run. Is this a service bus or a county council school contract service. How far from the company's base is this stop. School contracts do not always have to be on Tacho, but many, including myself, as protection in case of a what if situation. Yes, a PCV driver can drive up to ten hours a day, but not every day under both EU and domestic rules. We are still governed by EU drivers hours regulations. If I had been the driver in this situation, I would have still dropped off the child in question but woul gave liased with my boss for the gest way to deal with any possible issues with driver hours. I do have a lovely boss, though, and we drivers get a lot of autonomy.

DragonGypsyDoris · 28/09/2024 06:46

Pogue4Life · 27/09/2024 23:28

Some do actually I know a few who don’t have time to fit in another job. If they are in a privately operated bus for schools. They are going to be needed to collect buses again ready for collections and these are usually waiting outside the schools from 2.30ish

Show quote history

Yes, some do. But many don't, and run a range of services between school runs - particularly in rural areas. So a driver doing morning and afternoon school trips could be on the road from 0700 to 1800 ... with an hour for lunch, that's right at the limit for driving hours. An extra 15 minutes (each way) could leave them stranded. And a relief driver would not automatically be available.

TickingAlongNicely · 28/09/2024 07:36

Our local independent school employs its drivers directly. They drive the schools own fleet of buses (both minibuses and coaches... they are quite distinctive hence why everyone knows!). The buses leave the school at 6.30am. The routes are for 4-18yos

Its not like the bus drivers for the state schools, who do normal routes in the day.

Hopefully the OP gets some answers from the school. The main one... what the driver would have done if she hadn't made it to the bus stop, or if the child (of any age) hadn't been able to confirm contact with an adult.

TexaSun · 28/09/2024 07:43

Winteriscominginfast · 26/09/2024 21:16

He will be limited to the amount of hours he can drive in a day, and he may have been near his limit. That said he should have stayed with your daughter until she was collected.

Behave yourself. A school bus driver?! What about the bus drivers on public transport doing 8+ hour shifts?

He had another job on or pick up which was more important to him so he abandoned the child.

RubyOrca · 28/09/2024 07:52

I call BS on drive hours. If that was the issue he’d be contacting his company and having them send out another driver. Not ditching kids at random places and telling them to get themselves the rest of the way home.

He may have thought this was a good compromise - get parents to drive part way so can get back on time. And if you’d been able to do that I can see that working well. The problem was insisting and refusing to drop at the designated stop.

15min by car is likely 8km or more - that’s an unreasonable walk for anyone