To ban spooning between certain hours

[Calmondeck]

DH is a hugger. He has 3 pillows, one for his head, chest, and back. But sometimes when his pillow fort fails him, he snuggles up to me, inevitably waking me in the process.

He thinks I’m a cold woman for grumbling about hugs, I think I’m going to murder him if I don’t get uninterrupted sleep.

I proposed a time ban - ie he can’t snuggle me before 7am (when our kids are waking up), he says that would defeat the purpose of him snuggling himself back to sleep if he had to look at the time.

Can I kill him?

Ok real talk here, this thread is wild to me. Why the fuck are some of you in these relationships? People scared their partner's will leave them if they don't cuddle? People having cuddle alarms to schedule cuddle time (and still being pissed off about it)? Building pillow forts between you to stop someone grabbing you against your will? People lying there fuming and putting up with being squeezed and grabbed and kneaded when they don't want to be? Seriously what the fuck?

I love a cuddle and so does my husband, I usually fall asleep pretzeled around my husband in some way. But if I'm ever hot or uncomfortable or just don't feel like it that night (or he is) I just say that? "Babe I'm really hot tonight can we not cuddle?" And that's it. We sleep not touching because we respect eachother and respect each other's right to not be touched if we don't want to be.

Deadass why are all of you with these people who don't respect your bodily autonomy enough to not touch you when you've specifically asked them not to? Fuck me.

Yes. You can kill him. This is why separate bedrooms were invented.

100% this! My ex was really miffed when I suggested separate beds (btw after me taking ALL the responsibility to try and manage his snoring, whether by me wearing earplugs, or trying to get to sleep before him, or researching and buying him aids to stop snoring etc.). He saw it as a massive rejection.

He never took responsibility which was an issue itself but if he’d also been disrespectful at my efforts to deal with it or ignored my boundaries around me having my own bed I’d have ended things a lot sooner. As it was, this wasn’t the only way he was inconsiderate and selfish so it ended anyway. It’s definitely a sign of someone who doesn’t care as much about you as they do about themselves.

My partner loves a cuddle, but perhaps fortunately for me I react quite violently to being woken in the night. For me it's subconscious, but you could fake it OP? Try screaming and thrashing around as if you're trying to escape when he does it (in your sleep of course...). He should learn not to quite quickly!

Sounds like a job for the old pointy jointy, right where it hurts. Selfish bugger!

It doesn’t wake him - I’m very gentle with him 😂