To not want to sit at a tAble with strangers for an intimate meal?

[LilacWriter]

My partner used to be really good at booking things but lately has got lazy with it. So this weekend I said, please book somewhere

He has and it's a nice looking restaurant with a tasting menu. The issue is you have to sit at a long table with random strangers. On the one hand, this already makes me feel uncomfortable. On the other, I don't want to discourage him from booking places now he's taking initiative!

YABU - suck it up and enjoy the experience
YANBU - choose somewhere else

Give it a go, you might enjoy it!

I wouldn't choose either of your voting choices.

I'd say discuss it with him.

But then equally if one of us is going to book a restaurant, we'll check that the other one is ok with it.

I have a theory about why he doesn't book stuff........

@NahNotHavingIt usually we would do this

In this case he knows I'm having a crazy work week and that's why he's just booked something without making it a two way conversation this time. I said, happy for you to book somewhere!

If I moan about it, it will be like thanks but no thanks...

You're probably right and I'm being boring.

It's just I'm a private person at the best of times and we haven't had much quality time lately. I think he probably fancies the menu.

@MiddleagedBeachbum is right! Give it a go! In a lot of these scenarios, you are engaging with your companion and across the table only with the servers/chef! You may not have to interact too much with the others.

NFW
HTH

Ive just had such a stressful week and this feels like another stressful thing to do. Rather than the intimacy of our own table.

I think you're right and I may have to suck it up or partner will think I'm being boring! I did ask him to book..

I'm not sure a crazy work week would stop me making a decision like that.

Either way, discussing is completely different to 'moaning', isn't it?

I honestly couldn’t get upset about this. You’re always going to have some contact with “random strangers”.

Well that's you.

It's been an overwhelming week for me which is why he made the decision.

This is a first word problem, obviously

I'm a total introvert but one of the best meals I've ever had was in the Gardener's Cottage in Edinburghat a communal table. I wouldn't worry!

@weebarra no way!!

That's where the booking is 😂

I absolutely would not go. I'm quite introverted and would find it extremely stressful. I don't want to waste my free time and money being stressed.

But if you're on the fence then maybe just do it. You might not mind it. And if it turns out it's shit just tell him afterward 'I didn't like that long table setup' and then hopefully he will never book somewhere that has that again

Oh fantastic! It was a while ago but I still remember that meal, especially the foraged buckthorn ice cream! Enjoy.

Ok, so he made a booking without sending a text for you to quickly reply to.

You're not over the moon about the prospect of sharing a long table with others.

That's all fair enough, so just speak to him without worrying he's going to think you're 'moaning' or 'boring'.

If you two can't have a simple conversation, then just go and give it a try. As others have said, you might like it.

Well it’s not going to be intimate with stranger but you might have fun. I’d go with it.

Give it a go. If you don't like it, you won't go again.

We went to a place with communal tables for Sunday lunch last week. Everyone just talked to their own party and ignored everyone around them. Same when we go to Wagamama. Big long tables but nobody talks to anyone else.

Communal tables aren't a big deal. It is very unlikely anyone will talk to you or listen to your conversation.

I've done this, and when sat opposite my partner, had about the same interaction with the people next to me as I would have if they'd been at the table behind in a standard restaurant. There was no small talk. It's not a wedding reception or work dinner - no one else at the table is there to socialise outside the people they arrived with, either.

Give it a go. It's likely to be a lot more comfortable than you think.

I’d find somewhere else, you might get stuck next to my sister and her husband.

🙄

Innocent misjudgement or weaponised incompetence?

I say go along, it'll probably be perfectly nice and you'll find the other groups don't want to do more than exchange pleasantries with strangers either.

You won't have to interact with anyone else except the waiter. If you wanted somewhere intimate, you should have specified it.

What was incompetent about it? OP said "Happy for you to book somewhere" and that's what he's done.