To not want to sit at a tAble with strangers for an intimate meal?

[LilacWriter]

My partner used to be really good at booking things but lately has got lazy with it. So this weekend I said, please book somewhere

He has and it's a nice looking restaurant with a tasting menu. The issue is you have to sit at a long table with random strangers. On the one hand, this already makes me feel uncomfortable. On the other, I don't want to discourage him from booking places now he's taking initiative!

YABU - suck it up and enjoy the experience
YANBU - choose somewhere else

He acted on the book something instruction. You are trepidatious about communal table.
Either

1. Attend, see what it’s like
2. explain you want a double table without adjacent diners

Loads of places have table set ups like this now. Wouldn’t bother me at all, even if it was separate tables you’d be completely rammed in anyway so it doesn’t really make any difference.

It sounds as if you’re going to go and have a great time- and for a bit of 1:1 time if you don’t think the restaurant will offer it, why not go for a nightcap after or pre-dinner drinks beforehand? Hope you have a great date!

Weaponised incompetence.

Ask him to book somewhere else.

I'm quite a private person myself, but my husband and I have had similar dining experiences on the odd occasion and I've thoroughly enjoyed it.
Give it a go - you might like it!
If not, chalk it up to experience and let him know that you would prefer him to make only private bookings in future.
Alternatively, take control and make any future bookings yourself, then you can pick what you know you like and you won't be disappointed with his choices.

OP I’ve been to the gardeners cottage and it’s superb! We didn’t talk to the other diners, I went with a friend and we hadn’t seen each other in ages, we were l engrossed in our own conversation and so were most of the others. Call and ask to be seated at the end of a table, there are a few from memory, that way it’ll be more private.
I went years ago and it’s still one of my favourite meals too like @weebarra
also the ambience is lovely. Hope you have a fun night.

It’s really not. He’s booked a great restaurant.

OP, echoing what others have said, I’ve been to the Gardener’s Cottage a couple of times - for an evening meal and for brunch. It’s amazing! Give it a go.

😁

I’ve been to Gardener’s Cottage and the food was fantastic. I don’t recall interacting with others on the table at all, or feeling like I couldn’t have a proper conversation with my husband. Honestly don’t worry about it and have a fabulous time!

Also, definitely don’t discourage your husband from taking charge of bookings. It would be much worse if he never booked anything for fear of getting it wrong.

It will be a fabulous experience but an event like this isn't an "intimate meal" and if that's how you think of it you'll be miserable. it's more like a non-televised version of "come dine with me" - chatting with the other people is part of the experience. We went to.a thing like this and had a brilliant time and met a couple we had a lot in common with. Reset yoir expectations to think of it as something similar to going to a wine tasting event but with foody-things being the focus rather than wine, and consider having other people to discuss it all with to be a bonus not a problem. If you couldn't possibly enjoy that then your problems are bigger than this meal.

I hate communal tables too. Its ok for a quick lunch, but other than that it's a no go from me

I'd give it a go, if you're keen on the sound of the food. It could be fun!

Some tasting events and chef's table sittings are like this. But OP is going to the Gardener's Cottage and it's not a group meal or dinner party type of environment. At this restaurant OP and DH will be seated at a long table with others but will be having their own meal at their own pace. They can just converse between the two of them and no one will bat an eye. I'm an introvert and have been a few times; the group tables barely registered and the food is delightful.

@BarbaraHoward
Are you always so convinced that men are doing exerting on purpose to benefit themselves?

Booking what is currently the nicest restaurant in Edinburgh really isn’t weaponised incompetence. It’s incredibly fucking difficult to get a table for a start.

Just stay in Op. Save your fellow diners from your discomfort.

It's glaringly obvious that the REAL issue is one of communication in your relationship.

If you're afraid of ruffling his feathers and would rather ask anons on a forum, what does that show?

You've every right to say that the meal (communal dining) isn't what you want.

I suppose it would be OK, providing you are sat next to each other and not at opposite ends of a table like this,

LOL
But that doesn't mean it's what everyone wants!

Just because it's popular - does that mean the OP should just shut up and be grateful?

I’m not saying that but it’s hardly “weaponised incompetence” he’s not booked fucking Burger King has he.

Won’t those chairs be booked?

I don’t like communal seating (I’m a booth lover) but I’d go on this occasion. It’s just one night out and you might even enjoy it. If not you never need to go again.

Do it this time, then if you don’t enjoy it (you never know, you might) then say “that was fab, great choice, but would have been even better with a private table” hopefully he’ll take the hint

If you can request end of table seating I’d do that.

Everyone likes different things, of course she'd be perfectly reasonable to express a preference about where they go for dinner.

But in this case the preference OP expressed was for her DH to pick somewhere instead of involving her in the planning. He heeded her wish and chose a very well regarded restaurant that he thinks they'll enjoy. Most people find it frustrating to be told "oh no you just choose something for us I can't be fussed" and then get told they chose wrong.

Just remember that your friends- and your boyfriend- were once "random strangers". You might meet some lovely people!