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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the "Darlington Five" are being treated incredibly badly in order to indulge a bloke

63 replies

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 08:06

Shocking behaviour from the local NHS trust, five women have been forced out of their changing rooms because a man wants to come in and get naked in front of them.

https://archive.ph/NhzFG

Why are they being punished? They're the victims? Why can't he go into the special new changing room?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 11/12/2024 06:51

@fthemkidsandfyoutoo transwomen are not women and lesbians are women, hth!

FrippEnos · 11/12/2024 06:52

fthemkidsandfyoutoo · 11/12/2024 03:15

This is a complete mischaracterisation of what occurred in this case. The colleague in question is a transgender woman uses the womens facilities to get changed in (For the same reason that cisgendered women do)

I can't help but wonder if those commenting their affirmation for this would feel the same way if the colleagues had felt uncomfortable with a lesbian colleague being in the changing room with them.

If the answer to this is 'No, because it's a woman' Then your issue is not actually about women's concern for safety, its that you refuse to see trans women as they identify.

Your post is everything that is wrong with your argument.

FOJN · 11/12/2024 07:09

fthemkidsandfyoutoo · 11/12/2024 03:15

This is a complete mischaracterisation of what occurred in this case. The colleague in question is a transgender woman uses the womens facilities to get changed in (For the same reason that cisgendered women do)

I can't help but wonder if those commenting their affirmation for this would feel the same way if the colleagues had felt uncomfortable with a lesbian colleague being in the changing room with them.

If the answer to this is 'No, because it's a woman' Then your issue is not actually about women's concern for safety, its that you refuse to see trans women as they identify.

Where to start with this?

If the answer to this is 'No, because it's a woman' Then your issue is not actually about women's concern for safety, its that you refuse to see trans women as they identify.

It's not a refusal to "see" someone as they identify, I simply can't convince my eyes to lie. Transwomen are men and my eyes tell me so.

Men, however they identify, pose more of a risk to women than other women do.

I have no idea how many lesbians I've shared a changing room with because I've never been made to feel uncomfortable by another woman. It's the sex, not sexual orientation, of others in the changing room which bothers me. You are clearly homophobic which is why you think you have made a compelling argument.

Many men, in public spaces, have behaved in ways which made me feel uncomfortable so I'd rather they weren't in the same changing room.

Persimmons123 · 11/12/2024 07:09

There’s always one isn’t there? Lesbians are women/female, cisnothing. Transwomen are male.

NotBadConsidering · 11/12/2024 07:12

its that you refuse to see trans women as they identify.

Correct. They are men regardless of what they think of themselves. HTH.

Honeycrisp · 11/12/2024 07:21

fthemkidsandfyoutoo · 11/12/2024 03:15

This is a complete mischaracterisation of what occurred in this case. The colleague in question is a transgender woman uses the womens facilities to get changed in (For the same reason that cisgendered women do)

I can't help but wonder if those commenting their affirmation for this would feel the same way if the colleagues had felt uncomfortable with a lesbian colleague being in the changing room with them.

If the answer to this is 'No, because it's a woman' Then your issue is not actually about women's concern for safety, its that you refuse to see trans women as they identify.

It's interesting, the first two posts are shameful drivel but then you manage to nail it in the final one. We don't see TW as they identify, because they're males, and you're a dirty, skanky homophobe.

EmoIsntDead · 11/12/2024 07:36

fthemkidsandfyoutoo · 11/12/2024 03:15

This is a complete mischaracterisation of what occurred in this case. The colleague in question is a transgender woman uses the womens facilities to get changed in (For the same reason that cisgendered women do)

I can't help but wonder if those commenting their affirmation for this would feel the same way if the colleagues had felt uncomfortable with a lesbian colleague being in the changing room with them.

If the answer to this is 'No, because it's a woman' Then your issue is not actually about women's concern for safety, its that you refuse to see trans women as they identify.

Lesbians don’t have penises. HTH

TheSilkWorm · 11/12/2024 07:40

fthemkidsandfyoutoo · 11/12/2024 03:15

This is a complete mischaracterisation of what occurred in this case. The colleague in question is a transgender woman uses the womens facilities to get changed in (For the same reason that cisgendered women do)

I can't help but wonder if those commenting their affirmation for this would feel the same way if the colleagues had felt uncomfortable with a lesbian colleague being in the changing room with them.

If the answer to this is 'No, because it's a woman' Then your issue is not actually about women's concern for safety, its that you refuse to see trans women as they identify.

Yep. Trans 'women' aren't women, they are men. It's not a secret that we think that.

Tontostitis · 11/12/2024 07:45

fthemkidsandfyoutoo · 11/12/2024 03:15

This is a complete mischaracterisation of what occurred in this case. The colleague in question is a transgender woman uses the womens facilities to get changed in (For the same reason that cisgendered women do)

I can't help but wonder if those commenting their affirmation for this would feel the same way if the colleagues had felt uncomfortable with a lesbian colleague being in the changing room with them.

If the answer to this is 'No, because it's a woman' Then your issue is not actually about women's concern for safety, its that you refuse to see trans women as they identify.

Yes that's exactly it. I see trans women as men.

DdraigGoch · 11/12/2024 07:47

fthemkidsandfyoutoo · 11/12/2024 03:15

This is a complete mischaracterisation of what occurred in this case. The colleague in question is a transgender woman uses the womens facilities to get changed in (For the same reason that cisgendered women do)

I can't help but wonder if those commenting their affirmation for this would feel the same way if the colleagues had felt uncomfortable with a lesbian colleague being in the changing room with them.

If the answer to this is 'No, because it's a woman' Then your issue is not actually about women's concern for safety, its that you refuse to see trans women as they identify.

It's a bit difficult to see him as he "identifies" when he is walking around in transparent clothing talking about getting his girlfriend pregnant.

TheaBrandt · 11/12/2024 07:49

Everyone sees them as men except the small group going along with this emperor’s new clothes gender delusion. They don’t believe it really either as no one sane can. It’s like a weird enforced religious belief. You are entitled to believe what you want but not when it encroaches on others reality like here.

TimeForATerf · 11/12/2024 07:51

fthemkidsandfyoutoo · 11/12/2024 03:15

This is a complete mischaracterisation of what occurred in this case. The colleague in question is a transgender woman uses the womens facilities to get changed in (For the same reason that cisgendered women do)

I can't help but wonder if those commenting their affirmation for this would feel the same way if the colleagues had felt uncomfortable with a lesbian colleague being in the changing room with them.

If the answer to this is 'No, because it's a woman' Then your issue is not actually about women's concern for safety, its that you refuse to see trans women as they identify.

He is a trans identifying male who asks other women why they are not getting changed in front of him, who doesn’t intend to change his body and who is actively trying for a baby with his wife.

He is as much a woman as my dad is.

LokiCroc · 11/12/2024 07:55

"Man with a woman sexual fetish insists on being in a female space where they are getting changed and feel vulnerable. NHS put his sexual fetish above the safety of women and agree he is allowed to be there"

HRTQueen · 11/12/2024 07:58

Any male demanding to be allowed to use female spaces is acting inappropriately

this is about power and many will get a sexual kick from this

I’m not surprised we have come so far and yet we have to be put back in place every now and then by men who want control

Londonrach1 · 11/12/2024 07:58

Madness.

RedToothBrush · 11/12/2024 08:04

DdraigGoch · 11/12/2024 07:47

It's a bit difficult to see him as he "identifies" when he is walking around in transparent clothing talking about getting his girlfriend pregnant.

Show quote history

That poster was two and a half months late to the thread and misses the most crucial information about the case.

Women don't behave like this. Because they can't.

Also why ARE women are supposed to ignore inappropriate conduct because of how someone identifies?

And finally, I'm sure someone will eventually pull up the stats on offending rates comparing men to women. And then transitioning male to other males.

They make for grim reading. Statistically, lesbians don't pose anywhere near the same issue.

Dontletthebedbugsbite2 · 11/12/2024 08:04

fthemkidsandfyoutoo · 11/12/2024 03:15

This is a complete mischaracterisation of what occurred in this case. The colleague in question is a transgender woman uses the womens facilities to get changed in (For the same reason that cisgendered women do)

I can't help but wonder if those commenting their affirmation for this would feel the same way if the colleagues had felt uncomfortable with a lesbian colleague being in the changing room with them.

If the answer to this is 'No, because it's a woman' Then your issue is not actually about women's concern for safety, its that you refuse to see trans women as they identify.

Its difficult to see a trans woman as a woman when they are openly discussed impregnating their female partner... there is no reason why this trans woman couldn't get changed alone. It is in no way comparable to changing next to a lesbian woman - who doesn't have male genitalia. I would be so uncomfortable with this. It doesn't mean I hate trans people or don't accept them - I don't want to be undressed next to a penis at work- regardless of who it belongs to.

Hairyesterdaygonetoday · 11/12/2024 08:23

FOJN · 11/12/2024 07:09

Where to start with this?

If the answer to this is 'No, because it's a woman' Then your issue is not actually about women's concern for safety, its that you refuse to see trans women as they identify.

It's not a refusal to "see" someone as they identify, I simply can't convince my eyes to lie. Transwomen are men and my eyes tell me so.

Men, however they identify, pose more of a risk to women than other women do.

I have no idea how many lesbians I've shared a changing room with because I've never been made to feel uncomfortable by another woman. It's the sex, not sexual orientation, of others in the changing room which bothers me. You are clearly homophobic which is why you think you have made a compelling argument.

Many men, in public spaces, have behaved in ways which made me feel uncomfortable so I'd rather they weren't in the same changing room.

Show quote history

Sometimes, when the world’s trans-stupidity gets too much for me, I have to dive into Mumsnet and take a deep drink of sanity, strength and humour.

Thanks, all you ordinary hard-working women, for taking a bit of time to reaffirm reality. We all need each other. One day all this bullshit will be in the past, and our grandchildren will be wondering why the world went mad …

HermioneWeasley · 11/12/2024 08:29

The post by themkids is hilarious. To use a JKR analogy, it’s like when Voldemort’s silencing charm doesn’t work any more.

you are quite right @fthemkidsandfyoutoo - we do refuse to see trans identified males as women. I know you’ve said that in an attempt to shock and shame, but we won’t be bullied any more. We won’t indulge men at our own expense. Women want our stuff back.

Igmum · 11/12/2024 09:20

TW are men.

Lesbians are women.

I've shared plenty of changing rooms with lesbians with no problems whatsoever.

Do I feel comfortable being required to strip in front of a male work colleague? No and are you insane?

Well done to these women for having the courage to take on the NHS and I hope the court throws the book at this TW and whoever in HR thought this was a good idea.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 11/12/2024 09:23

fthemkidsandfyoutoo · 11/12/2024 03:15

This is a complete mischaracterisation of what occurred in this case. The colleague in question is a transgender woman uses the womens facilities to get changed in (For the same reason that cisgendered women do)

I can't help but wonder if those commenting their affirmation for this would feel the same way if the colleagues had felt uncomfortable with a lesbian colleague being in the changing room with them.

If the answer to this is 'No, because it's a woman' Then your issue is not actually about women's concern for safety, its that you refuse to see trans women as they identify.

The colleague in question is male, like all other males.

He was prancing around in the women's changing rooms with his knob visible, talking about how he was trying to get his partner pregnant, FFS.

BobTheBobcatsBob · 11/12/2024 09:53

fthemkidsandfyoutoo · 11/12/2024 03:15

This is a complete mischaracterisation of what occurred in this case. The colleague in question is a transgender woman uses the womens facilities to get changed in (For the same reason that cisgendered women do)

I can't help but wonder if those commenting their affirmation for this would feel the same way if the colleagues had felt uncomfortable with a lesbian colleague being in the changing room with them.

If the answer to this is 'No, because it's a woman' Then your issue is not actually about women's concern for safety, its that you refuse to see trans women as they identify.

Well yes...this is exactly the issue. Transwomen aren't women and we don't see them as women. Lesbians are irrelevant to this conversation.

Smallsalt · 11/12/2024 10:16

fthemkidsandfyoutoo · 11/12/2024 03:15

This is a complete mischaracterisation of what occurred in this case. The colleague in question is a transgender woman uses the womens facilities to get changed in (For the same reason that cisgendered women do)

I can't help but wonder if those commenting their affirmation for this would feel the same way if the colleagues had felt uncomfortable with a lesbian colleague being in the changing room with them.

If the answer to this is 'No, because it's a woman' Then your issue is not actually about women's concern for safety, its that you refuse to see trans women as they identify.

Because trans women aren't as they identify. They are men .

And equating lesbians with trans women is grossly offensive.
Lesbians are women, entitled to privacy and safe women's spaces.

MrBungle · 11/12/2024 10:41

redtrain123 · 11/12/2024 10:20

When both major parties agree on something, you have a rare thing indeed

Assume @fthemkidsandfyoutoo will not be back to tell us how lesbians can have lady penis.

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