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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the "Darlington Five" are being treated incredibly badly in order to indulge a bloke

63 replies

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 08:06

Shocking behaviour from the local NHS trust, five women have been forced out of their changing rooms because a man wants to come in and get naked in front of them.

https://archive.ph/NhzFG

Why are they being punished? They're the victims? Why can't he go into the special new changing room?

OP posts:
Zahariel · 25/09/2024 08:08

"DO NOT REMOVE THIS SIGN"

Bet there's not one up on the mens.

To think the "Darlington Five" are being treated incredibly badly in order to indulge a bloke
OP posts:
Royalshyness · 25/09/2024 08:11

Crazy 🥹

Dollybantree · 25/09/2024 08:11

Good god is this real?

The world’s gone mad.

RedToothBrush · 25/09/2024 08:11

How is that compatible with Forstater and the Equality Act?

popeydokey · 25/09/2024 08:12

It even specifies "female" not "woman" ffs.
Where sex matters, don't lie about it.

MelodyMalone · 25/09/2024 08:22

Is this the same case that was in the news a while back? Nurses were complaining about being forced to share a changing room with a trans colleague who was not only biologically male but was acting inappropriately. I can't remember where it was, though.

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 08:25

MelodyMalone · 25/09/2024 08:22

Is this the same case that was in the news a while back? Nurses were complaining about being forced to share a changing room with a trans colleague who was not only biologically male but was acting inappropriately. I can't remember where it was, though.

details in the archive link above, but yes, a male forcing his way into female spaces, which would be bad enough and unforgivable, but also behaving in a way that made the female users even more uncomfortable.

OP posts:
Zahariel · 25/09/2024 08:26

Male feels trump female feels, female safety, female dignity

every time we allow this, every time people are "just be kind" this happens.

OP posts:
redtrain123 · 25/09/2024 08:28

So the ‘Inclusive’ sign is actually Excluding women!

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 08:31

It's just struck me - if males and females can go into a changing room - why do we EVEN HAVE changing rooms?

there's no point right? if males and females can all go in together, you could get changed in the corridor, because it doesn't matter who sees you?

Right?

(I am of course shining a light on how stupid this is)

OP posts:
MelodyMalone · 25/09/2024 08:33

I read the link but it didn't really mention behaviour, just that he was there and the inappropriateness of the "alternative changing arrangements".

Does seem to be the same case, though the previous reports mentioned a larger number of nurses complaining. I guess these five are the ones who stuck it out.

ssd · 25/09/2024 08:48

My friend works in john Lewis. Their changing room policy on the women's fashion floor is the same. If a man wants to use it saying hes identifying as a women, hes allowed in. If other women in there are uncomfortable, THEY need to move across the sales floor to another changing room.

Madness

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 08:49

@MelodyMalone
"A fully intact male colleague calling himself Rose was allowed to use the open plan female changing rooms in a hospital. He said he was trying to get his girlfriend pregnant, walked around with genitals viable though underwear and when the nurses complained they were told they needed to get educated and compromise."

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5104200-because-this-never-happens-nhs-nurses-sue-over-transgender-policy-that-puts-them-at-risk

Because this never happens NHS nurses sue over transgender policy that ‘puts them at risk’. | Mumsnet

NHS nurses sue over transgender policy that ‘puts them at risk’. A fully intact male colleague calling himself Rose was allowed to use the open plan...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5104200-because-this-never-happens-nhs-nurses-sue-over-transgender-policy-that-puts-them-at-risk

OP posts:
MelodyMalone · 25/09/2024 09:04

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 08:49

@MelodyMalone
"A fully intact male colleague calling himself Rose was allowed to use the open plan female changing rooms in a hospital. He said he was trying to get his girlfriend pregnant, walked around with genitals viable though underwear and when the nurses complained they were told they needed to get educated and compromise."

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5104200-because-this-never-happens-nhs-nurses-sue-over-transgender-policy-that-puts-them-at-risk

Thanks, I do remember reading that. I meant the Telegraph article you linked in the first post which doesn't really mention it, so I wondered if it was the same case, but it does seem to be.

NQOCDarling · 25/09/2024 09:25

Voted yabu as there is already a thread on this

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 09:58

MelodyMalone · 25/09/2024 08:33

I read the link but it didn't really mention behaviour, just that he was there and the inappropriateness of the "alternative changing arrangements".

Does seem to be the same case, though the previous reports mentioned a larger number of nurses complaining. I guess these five are the ones who stuck it out.

I wonder why the females had to move and the male got to stay?

OP posts:
redtrain123 · 25/09/2024 11:41

Nurses - if you’re reading this, we’re all behind you!

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 11:58

redtrain123 · 25/09/2024 11:41

Nurses - if you’re reading this, we’re all behind you!

96% of us anyway...

OP posts:
offyoujollywelltrot · 25/09/2024 12:02

There's already a thread about this.

Name972 · 25/09/2024 12:04

Why can't the male changing room be the inclusive space? Is it because men are the problem....?

fthemkidsandfyoutoo · 11/12/2024 03:15

This is a complete mischaracterisation of what occurred in this case. The colleague in question is a transgender woman uses the womens facilities to get changed in (For the same reason that cisgendered women do)

I can't help but wonder if those commenting their affirmation for this would feel the same way if the colleagues had felt uncomfortable with a lesbian colleague being in the changing room with them.

If the answer to this is 'No, because it's a woman' Then your issue is not actually about women's concern for safety, its that you refuse to see trans women as they identify.

drspouse · 11/12/2024 03:33

Well spotted! Transwomen are men. And in this case behaving in a way that very clearly shows it.

HelenaWaiting · 11/12/2024 03:49

fthemkidsandfyoutoo · 11/12/2024 03:15

This is a complete mischaracterisation of what occurred in this case. The colleague in question is a transgender woman uses the womens facilities to get changed in (For the same reason that cisgendered women do)

I can't help but wonder if those commenting their affirmation for this would feel the same way if the colleagues had felt uncomfortable with a lesbian colleague being in the changing room with them.

If the answer to this is 'No, because it's a woman' Then your issue is not actually about women's concern for safety, its that you refuse to see trans women as they identify.

I think you ought to have given it some thought before suggesting that lesbians are a threat to other women's safety. Your post isn't the "gotcha" you appear to think it is.

FrannyScraps · 11/12/2024 04:38

fthemkidsandfyoutoo · 11/12/2024 03:15

This is a complete mischaracterisation of what occurred in this case. The colleague in question is a transgender woman uses the womens facilities to get changed in (For the same reason that cisgendered women do)

I can't help but wonder if those commenting their affirmation for this would feel the same way if the colleagues had felt uncomfortable with a lesbian colleague being in the changing room with them.

If the answer to this is 'No, because it's a woman' Then your issue is not actually about women's concern for safety, its that you refuse to see trans women as they identify.

Lesbians don't wander around with their penis visible through underwear. Hth.

JaninaDuszejko · 11/12/2024 05:36

fthemkidsandfyoutoo · 11/12/2024 03:15

This is a complete mischaracterisation of what occurred in this case. The colleague in question is a transgender woman uses the womens facilities to get changed in (For the same reason that cisgendered women do)

I can't help but wonder if those commenting their affirmation for this would feel the same way if the colleagues had felt uncomfortable with a lesbian colleague being in the changing room with them.

If the answer to this is 'No, because it's a woman' Then your issue is not actually about women's concern for safety, its that you refuse to see trans women as they identify.

You're suggesting lesbians aren't women and are sexually agressive towards other women. Nice bit of homophobia there.