AIBU to worry about telling colleagues that I’m going to Israel?

[Doubtfulso]

I’ve got a close friends wedding in Israel in 2 months and I am a bridesmaid. She is Israeli and so of course having her wedding in her home country.

I need to book the time off work now, and I work in the kind of company where everyone asks where you’re going or where you’ve been when you book leave.

there’s a lot of anger and strong feelings against Israel at the moment, and I’m worried that colleagues will turn against me or start treating me different when they know that I’m going to Israel.

would I be unreasonable to lie and tell them I’m going somewhere else, or should I be honest?

It’s staggeringly unlikely el al will stop flights in and out of Israel. Go and enjoy and if you get a chance talk to the Israelis and hear all sides or their stories too. The vast majority are peace loving and just what their citizens bakc and the war to end

It's not my business as to where they go, no. But it is my business to ensure that the work gets done.
We have clear policies and procedures for sick leave. I don't care whether they went skiing or fell down the stairs. We have leeway to organise cover. So no problem for me.
Unauthorized absence however is a different matter. Unless it was unavoidable we have to treat it as a disciplinary matter. And we aren't allowed temporary cover.

@YellowAsteroid I have had employees (refugees) going to war zones, to see dying family etc and I have been prepared to cover for them unofficially by spreading the work between my team and de-prioritising work.

But as it's my job on the line, of course I'd only be prepared to do it if I believe it really necessary.

All our policies are clearly documented on our intranet so employees also know this. It's not a secret.

I wouldn't judge you politucally/ethically but I'd be torn between thinking you were a brave, selfless, extremely good friend and between thinking you're out of your mind. Overall, I'd probably go with the lattee opinion if you have children/dependents and the former opinion if you don't. I wouldn't go though, no matter how close the friend. I'd be too scared.

I don't know whether workplaces are actually allowed to care/act on where you go in your free time but many do. Eg I work in a boarding school. If we went abroad in Summer 2020 - Easter 2021, we had to declare it in writing and, if we ended up off work with Covid, it was made very clear that we wouldn't be paid. And that's a tiny danger compared to travelling into a war zone.

And, changing the subject, making comparisons between Israeli actions and the holocaust is literally one of the definitions of antisemitism isn't it?

If you lie and get stuck there how will you explain it?

What about insurance ?

I would say it says more about the violent people who are demonstrating, and the need of people with all other views to be wary of these violent people.

Do you feel similarly “weird” about Sudan, currently undergoing the worst child displacement crisis in the world? Millions of children malnourished, out of school or entirely displaced. All because of avoidable war.
All war is awful and all child death is an unbearable tragedy. Yet virtually every conflict where children are the innocent victims is almost completely ignored. No marches, no placards, no headlines, no boycotts.
Why?

There’s a certain part of Israel society that doesn’t want to co-exist either and they’ve been in charge for about 20 years. The last Israeli PM who tried a peace deal got assassinated!

Yes, I would. Although I don’t think Sudan is masquerading behind the facade of being a normal “western” democracy right now. And it would be a bit more unusual to have a colleague attend a wedding there.
It is never right to murder children, wherever it is happening. Israel is murdering children.

@ChallahPlaiter Very good question! If only there were a word for it??

Hmm, what word could it be? It can’t be anti-semitism obviously as according to other posters that word means something else now 🤷‍♀️

I never get an answer to that question.
I mean Sudan isn’t some primitive place where people don’t know any better. My colleague tells me about her life there in the capital before she left, doesn’t sound too dissimilar to anywhere else. Yet nobody ever talks about it, or talks about Cox’s bazaar or the ongoing oppression and torture in North Korea or any of the other conflicts, wars, dictatorships and human rights abuses round the world.
Why is Israel singularly awful to the extent that even people who don’t even know the history of the ongoing conflict turn out in their thousands to condemn it?

Yet another factual inaccuracy. One after another after another after another. Shows either ignorance or malice

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/jan/09/israel-palestine-gaza-peace-plan

Because Israel is currently murdering an unprecedented number of children. It is the most horrific slaughter of children in our lifetimes.

If someone went to North Korea for a wedding, I would think that were very odd indeed, by the way.

I never commented that it's a legitimate place to holiday. Although it is.

The poster I was asking the question to, @offyoujollywelltrot , responded to someone saying that Israel is a legitimate state fighting a terrorist group with "no it isn’t". Hence my question, which I don't expect to get an answer to.

Well it was a dig at the current Israeli government tbh. I was unaware of the negotiations mentioned in that article so I’ll have a read of it.

Well done for regurgitating Hamas propaganda. I know that children have died but this statement is just ridiculous.

I'm not interested in getting into an "who's killing the most babies" argument, but this is simply, factually untrue. Look into what is happening in Yemen, Sudan and Syria. This is what happens when people base their world view on whatever their social media feed tells them. It's dangerous.

????
Are you ok?
Children are dying. It’s never OK. It’s never justifiable. It doesn’t matter where in the world it’s happening. Each child is someone’s whole world. That’s not propaganda, that’s just reality. Look it in the face, we are not fully human if we refuse to face up to the suffering of others.

Probably because the UK government is not openly supporting the Sudanese government or the war? I think many people may be protesting against the UK government’s involvement. I have not been on a march so I admit I am just guessing.

"Because Israel is currently murdering an unprecedented number of children. It is the most horrific slaughter of children in our lifetimes"

You said this and it is propaganda. I never said that children dying is something to be ok about. Hamas broke the ceasefire on 7 October having spent decades embedding themselves in civilian areas.

Who has murdered more children in a 21st century conflict?

Netanyahu is keeping this war going as he knows as soon as the war is over, Israeli civil society will want him out....
You think the far-right religious fundamentalist settlers throwing Palestinians off their land in the West Bank want to peacefully co-exist?

We don't have reliable figures about child deaths in Gaza as the entire state is controlled by Hamas, who lie, and have been shown to lie, about this. So it is a pointless discussion.

Well it would be virtually impossible I would have thought!

Sudan has an unprecedented number of murdered, displaced and malnourished children. I now can’t work out if people are being anti semitic by singling out Israel or racist in seeing African countries as places where people innately and inevitably behave violently.

Syria

Well that’s a one dimensional view. There are myriad reasons for the US to express support for Israel (while at the same time working to broker peace), not least the question of what would happen to Israel if the US, UK etc stopped backing it.
This is why I feel uncomfortable when people call for an end to arms to Israel. I oppose arms in an ideal world but pragmatically speaking they won’t disappear overnight. Countries that are under frequent attack from their neighbours because of their ethnicity and religion cannot just be abandoned by the rest of the world.