Baby shower guests

[dec20]

My sisters planning my baby shower and has asked me who I'd like to invite.

My fiancés friend has had a girlfriend now for almost a year. I've met her a handful of times and not the biggest fan. Every time I've seen her she's never asked how I am, and I always find it difficult to make conversation with her. I feel a bit pressured to invite her as my best friend invited the friends girlfriend to hers.

What would you do?

Are people really still piling on to tell the OP that a bunch of strangers don't think she deserves a baby shower? Wow! Peak troll behaviour at this point. Sincerely hope OP has a very happy time with the people who know her in real life and clearly love her enough to care. Some of us didn't get the healthy baby at the end of pregnancy, as such I could never grudge another mum the chance of happiness in her pregnancy. If a baby shower brings happiness then go for it. And no don't invite the unfriendly girl- it would be like inviting all the judgy folks from MN

And @AlexaSetATimer I'm sure we're all impressed at how confident and capable you must've been before becoming a parent. Here is a big badge and cookie so everyone knows how much better an adult you are. Or you could let people learn things on their own which funny enough tends to be more effective all round.

If it isn’t about the gifts why don’t you just call it going out for a meal with friends (and your friends, not friends of friends) and not call it a baby shower.

I mean...same to be said about getting married.

Or graduating.

Or having a birthday.

Did you get what you wanted from this shitty reply?

Sorry to come back to this, I have been working.

So you ask a question on AIBU and you get answers you don't like and then we are judgemental pricks?? So everyone who disagrees with you is a prick? What a narrow viewpoint.

Also why is not celebrating the fact you're pregnant being miserable, you have had sex, like millions before you, and are pregnant, Why does that deserve a party and gifts? Why not wait until baby is here safe and sound?

To you yes but to the guests they'll be spoiling you with gifts.

Personally I think you need to stand up for your truth. You don't like her. So don't invite her. When you're a parent you have to stand up for your kid sometimes. Use this as practice.

Maybe your best friend likes her but you don't so don't invite! It's hard not to people please isn't it, I'm going through the same planning my wedding you feel like you have to invite people you don't even care about!

Yeah. Nothing wrong with having a pre birth celebration for the mum though mind. I don't like to go to them as I'm superstitious. But if it's just here's some bubble bath hope the birth goes OK and oooh look cake. Then that sounds OK to me. I still wouldn't go as I'm superstitious and much prefer to congratulate a mother when the baby is born as I've known too many cases where the baby hasn't made it.

It might seem hard but once you start doing it it gets MUCH easier. Please don't invite random people you don't like to your wedding. It's bad karma.

"Not that it matters (it obviously does), I'm in a posh friendship group."
With a Lord's daughter
Well given that Lordhships can be a result of a donation to a political party or on the whim of an outgoing PM, rather than just being an inherited title, that is no USP for your posh group
How do you define posh?
Money doesn't buy class
Hilarious

I really don’t care about class, as it happens - my mum grew up in a council house sharing a bed with her sister and is one of the “classiest” people I know. Was just responding to all the truly horrible people who have come on to a thread on a forum for mums to specifically make a pregnant woman feel bad, who were using the word “tacky” to try to make her feel that way. The woman I was talking about is actually the daughter of a Tory hereditary peer (and no I don’t care about that as I’m actually a Labour voter and fundamentally opposed to hereditary peerages on principle. Not my friend’s fault though! And yes, most of the friendship group went to well-known public schools and are the very definition of “posh”!)

the fact is that people from all walks of life enjoy celebrating happy events with their loved ones and I feel very grateful that I’m in a caring friendship group (as is OP) who are actually happy for their friends when something good happens. The number of bitter people on MN without friends or loving relationships is staggering.

enjoy your event OP, I’m sorry that a forum created specifically for mums has led to (other women in particular 😞) feeling the need to insult you for no reason.

This! It's so hypocrite to say "oh no, It's not for the gifts, It's just about having a nice get-together, It's about love etc"
If it's just a lovely get together then don't call it a baby shower which everyone will think is just a gift grab that they're obliged to attend.

I don't understand why you would contemplate inviting your fiancé's friend's girlfriend whom you don't like to anything! She's nothing to do with you at all. A baby shower, whatever you think of them, is for your female family members and female friends.

This was 5 months ago, I’m sure OP has had her baby shower by now…and maybe even the baby!

Why do people go so far back to reply to old threads?!

Your best friend invited your boyfriend's best friend's girlfriend to her own baby shower? Sounds a bit tenuous.

Don't invite anyone you don't like to your baby shower. Consider it practice for the first month post partum

Oh my good, some of you are awful! Who cares if you don't like them, just don't have one then. Why you'd feel the need to put that on anyone else I have no idea. After a pregnancy loss myself I can't wait to celebrate having my own someday. It's okay to keep it intimate OP, there is no point you being uncomfortable at your own party. Sending love at this very happy time for you!