Am I being sensitive, or is my dh a dick?

[oObyeOo]

Recently got back from a biking event. A sport that I’d say I’m alright at. I spend a lot of time on my bike, pushing myself to try harder and get better. I’m not amazing at it but I can hold my own in enduro races and national events/festivals.

The last few enduros I’ve done I’ve been on the podium for my category.

This weekend was an all women’s festival. It was great fun! Full of women at varying abilities, including pro riders. Everyone was so friendly and encouraging. I had such a great time and felt really good about myself. I even won a fun time trial race for my age group.

I got home all excited and was telling dh about it and he’s completely deflated me with his comments.

Why can’t he just say ‘well done’ ‘Sounds amazing!’ Instead he says ‘were you the only one in your category’ said with a laugh, as a joke apparently. And ‘well done, for someone who doesn’t even pump on a pump track’

It’s just so off hand, and I cashed him out on in. But he just dismissed it as he’s only having a laugh!

But why?! Why not just say well done and leave it at that?

His nose is out of joint because you've gone off and done something that's given you a buzz without him being at the centre of it. He thinks the more enthusiasm you give to this the less attention you'll give to him and he's being a petulant baby.

That’s a joke with a jag, OP.

In other words, he’s decided you need taking down a peg or three. He sounds like an insecure manchild.

He sounds like every cyclist I've encountered tbh.

The longhand version: Yes he is a dick, a mean thoughtless dick. He has no respect for you. He doesn't like you having a good time. He doesn't like you being happy. He doesn't like you having achievements. How dare you enjoy yourself.

The shorthand version: This man will not tolerate you being happy.

Seriously why would you be with someone who is this much of a mean minded asshole.

Did he say that in front of your DC?

Absolute prick.

This is shitty behaviour. Well done from me on your amazing achievements.
Like others have said, is this a trend? He sounds like an arse.
Also, my grandma used to say, "it's only a joke if everyone's laughing". You weren't laughing.

Shouldn’t matter if he loves biking that much. He sounds like a negging unpleasant jealous and insecure prick.

Either very very stupid or a mean, jealous, spiteful dickhead

Only you know which it is.

He sounds like my ex husband.

He's jealous of your achievements.

You say he works away 3 weeks at a time - being honest is it better for your relationship when he's home or away?

I'd wrap the bike around his neck and pack his bags. Then stand back and ask him why he isn't laughing at something so fucking hilarious. Sounds like you're married to an egocentric, misogynistic prick OP.

Insecure manbaby can't handle your success. A secure partner would be happy and proud over your achievments.

He's belittling you then making out you're in the wrong for taking it the wrong way. Massive red flags, for me (narcissistic traits).
How is the rest of your relationship?

Pump on a what?

Anyway def LTB

Strictly curtail praising him, giving any encouragement and completely withdraw reassurance. He will show his true colours when you remove all the positive well being work you give him for nothing.

AND yes he’s a dick.

He's being a total plum, and has small bicycle pump syndrome 😀

Your spouse / partner should be your biggest cheerleader. Regardless of your skill level.

he sounds like a total douche

I was going to suggest insecurities but I can see you've raised that yourself!

My husband can be a bit like that about my career as I can tell he feels a bit embarrassed and insecure that I've done better and earn a lot more. When I got made partner he was a bit sarcastic and snippy and when I pulled him up he said he was worried I'd leave him for someone "more successful". It's OK now but ugh, why do men have to feel threatened by women's successes.

Well done from me anyway! I have horrendous balance and am in awe of people who do biking as a hobby.