Neighbour kicked my door down/broke in

[Sparklfairy]

AIBU to expect the police to arrest/remove him...?

I live alone in a flat in a block of 4. I have met this neighbour just once, and introduced myself. A few weeks ago he knocked on my door, not threateningly, but persistently - consistent knocking for 3-4 minutes... at 1.30am. I was awake as I WFH but nights, and just ignored it.

He went away, and there's been nothing since. Until yesterday at 6-something in the morning. Again, I was working but the flat was in total silence. No tv or any noise that would disturb him, I was literally just sitting on my bed.

Suddenly I heard a bang and froze. I was confused and didn't know what it was and was trying to work out where it was coming from. 3 or 4 further bangs and my front door burst open and he was stood there, swaying, glassy eyed.

I screamed. It's a studio, tiny flat, like one of those micro flats that you see advertised but yes, this is my life and I had no escape, no room to hide in, not even a bathroom with a lock on the door (as there is no lock, and the bathroom is opposite the front door).

I screamed at him, he said I was 'in' his head, fucking with his head (when I've done absolutely nothing), and when he tried to step towards me I screamed again and he suddenly 'clicked', became lucid and said ok and left. I was shaking.

My other neighbour (upstairs, but next door to him), texted me saying he heard screaming, and let me take refuge in his flat. Before I did, I obviously called 999. The police seemed non committal, that someone would come out at some point. 36 hours later I've had no visit.

But here is the kicker. When hiding in my neighbours flat, my friend/neighbour had the bright idea of just knocking on his door and talking to crazy tenant. He has recorded the conversation where crazy tenant admits I did nothing wrong but I just 'remind him' of someone and that's why he broke my door down

I rang 101 with the crime ref to update. The lady was so helpful and checked with her supervisor as she was astonished no one had come out to me yet. She reassured me that someone would attend and it had been miscategorised/recategorised now.

It's now nearly 9pm on Sunday and STILL nothing. I can't go home. The lock has been 'fixed' but obviously Crazy Tenant has proven that he can break it whenever he likes. I live alone. I have stressed every single detail which should have escalated this, but nothing is being done. I have chased with the letting agent but basically they're saying I have to wait until Monday for any action to be done. And even then, they were non committal as to WHAT would happen.

So I'm stuck, and cannot go home, and my rent is due today. I have no idea what to do.

I had a similar situation a several years ago. The police attended almost 24 hours later and took a statement. I knew they were a friend of my neighbour but not their name. He wasn't found, I don't have much faith the police did anything.
A neighbour helped me barricade myself in, there was a wall opposite the door so it was relatively easy to block access until the housing association could send someone to replace the door.
Back to the police, the male officer returned a few hours without the female officer to "take some more details". Except that wasn't why. He decided that it was the perfect time to try it on with a vulnerable 18yo. I complained, his superior completely downplayed it but it must have stayed on his file because 10+ years later the force contacted me for a witness statement. He had gone on to do much worse and ended up being jailed for 5 years.
I know this part isn't the same as op but I would have done the same as op and made an appointment. I certainly wouldn't tell them where I was once I was safe. Sadly, we're all aware that some police are dangerous criminals themselves.
Complaining wise, I didn't want the hassle of going through the procedure but I'm glad I did. It all paints a picture and eventually something might get done.

You're 'in his head'? I would be absolutely terrified.
He sounds like his having a mental health episode and projecting on to you, Who knows what he could do next.
Hes already broken your door down.
Honestly the police and mental health team need to make an urgent visit!

I had similar in 2020. Again, it was a neighbour off his head on god knows what, kicking in our door 3 times over a 5 day period. Obviously, I called the police. First time, they didn't turn up. Second time They only surfaced when neighbour keeled over in the hallway, then handed him over to the care of paramedics. The third time it happened, they were out there chatting to him, then later tried to turn it on me. I could say more, but my blood pressure is already high writing this.

OP, I wouldn't have told them where I was, either. Couldn't trust them to organise a piss-up in a brewery. I hope things are settled now and your arsehole neighbour is long gone.

Doesn't surprise me. We are a largely rural borough covering 150 square miles. We used to have four police stations, now we have none. The result is that police, if they do come at all, are simply not familiar with the area and unable to navigate the country lanes and can't find properties. If a crime location is some distance from a road (as a lot of rural crime is) you've basically got no hope. They are also utterly hopeless when it comes to rural crimes. I've had to explain to an utterly mystified copper what 'feed bags' are and why the theft of 300 of them from a barn in the middle of the night might be something that they would want to investigate. Wildlife crime in particular has rocketed as there is simply no enforcement and no investigation.

Aaaand, quoting fail there ffs...

You know what really kills me - we get a foreign dignitary to our shores (Ireland) and more police resources are wasted on flashy motorcades.
Hell it doesn't even have to be a foreign dignitary, a high ranking politician will do.

Yet the poor beleaguered taxpayer gets a sh*t police service.

You mistake in this situation was not filing 999 it is an emergency it was an emergency when he broke in, it is an emergency incase he harms you

Thanks for the update OP, have been thinking about you today. I think the camera pointed at your door is a good idea - I guess I would ask the agent what they are doing to beef up security given that the leasing of one of the flats in this way means that other unstable people may be housed there.

Your mistake was not reading the OP's very first post properly...

I can totally understand being reluctant to wait for the police to just show up 'whenever' vs a fixed appointment to see someone.

Years ago, I had police kick in the door to my flat whilst I was asleep, when I was expecting them to come and take a statement!

I lived in a ground floor flat opposite a row of shops - at 3am, I spotted a robbery in action, couple of men jemmying the shutters open, kicking in a door and then loading up a vehicle parked on the side street beside my building (so over the road from the shop) with cigs/booze and buggering off.

I dialled 999 and reported this, and when I thought they'd gone, went outside for a ciggy, and at 3am in a northern winter, was wearing hoody/big coat etc.

Watched police show up, check it and one came over and I said id witnessed the whole thing and they said someone would come by for a statement later that day, and I went to bed.

Then I wake up to my flat door being kicked in, and my flat searched for stolen goods.

I had a search warrant (unsigned as it turned out) shoved in my face and they tipped my flat upside down... found nothing of course despite shouting at me to tell them where it was (at this point I didnt know what 'it' was!).

And later someone returned with a begrudging apology and took a statement.

As a nervous, anxious 19 year old with some pretty major mental health problems at the time, it was a horrific experience.

It appears that someone made a series of errors that involved another witness report of someone dressed in a dark hoody disappearing seemingly into my flat (or past it down the side, if you were watching from a building on the same side of the road a few doors up it'd be hard to tell in the dark if they were turning right, up my path, or right a few feet further on, up the side road along the end of the building), and a ' go to this address for a statement' note.

I'd hope that these days such fuckery couldn't occur, but I think that would be very naive of me!

We've also had police at our door here, banging on the door yelling for someone to answer in that 'or we will smash it in' way... They were looking for someone who used to live here donkeys years ago, on a 'welfare check' and because I answer the door realllllllllly slowly due to the wheelchair and getting out of various internal doorways, I nearly had the door kicked in, they had the wham ram ready!

Maybe these are things that don't happen if you live in 'naice' areas, I really wouldn't know!

you might want to re read…🙄.. it is still an emergency.. if he was willing to break her door down then he would be very likely to harm her in the future.. or someone else!

Also buy a load of those door wedges, sorry only thinking of them now. Shove a few under your door, and he wont be getting in. A rape alarm, a chair wedged under your door handle, all the above at the same time, but fgs start looking at either getting out of there for your own safety or he goes. Thinking of you, really hope you are ok x

It probably sounds ridiculous but I had never heard of door wedges. I will definitely get those, thank you.

An emergency? Yes, I think that's why the OP said "Before I did, I obviously called 999."

I'm so sorry this happened to you and that you've been so let down.

I'm glad you're back home with safer lock and CX tennant gone. May it continue.

I just wanted to say you've been really brave.
Well done for advocating for yourself and not accepting passively.

Victim support are a great charity with crime and violent crime and have some services, counselling etc just wanted to let you know it's an option.

https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/

Blimey. You’ve been through a lot. Sorry.

It’s worth you thinking about how to best look after your body and mind following such a shock and a trauma. Your body needs to feel safe again. That’s hard until you know this man has gone. But you can give it the best chance by looking after it as well as you can. Keep hydrated. Eat regularly. Avoid drugs and alcohol. Try and do some strength based exercise and play Tetris (helps to minimise intrusive visual images we think). Talk to people you trust.

It’s totally normal to struggle to sleep, feel jumpy and hyper vigilant. You might get other signs of post traumatic stress disorder but usually they do subside but if they don’t get some support quickly if you can.

i hope you can find some peace soon 💐

OMG, I hope you are safe now, is there any update on this, the police have been negligent and something needs to be done, I hope you have managed to sort things out, but if not the best thing would be to go to the police station and not leave until they do something.

Next time, if there is a next time, say he has threatened you with a knife.

I would also complain to chief constable, copy in your MP, home secretary and local paper

Hiya, that sounds awful. I used to live alone and you can feel really vulnerable. I found a very drunk guy sleeping in the communal stairs once and that was scary.

I would complain to police as a starting point. They need to do something, especially as the guy admitted it happening on a recording. They can't just not come out. Maybe extra security at the door such as a chain ect. Maybe get a ring doorbell then least if he returns it's recorded.

Finally maybe set your phone up so you can text 999, sometimes police suggest getting a spare phone.

Well I would go and sit in the police station constantly asking for tea and coffee until someone took thus seriously. No wonder there are so many assaults on women if people are allowed to get away with actions like this.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm glad he has gone.
What do you mean by check your privilege?

My daughter is going travelling in the new year. This has inspired me to buy her a couple of door wedges to take with her.

I'm so angry. I've made a complaint to the agent, because I heard banging and crashing upstairs and was worried, and the person I spoke to had obviously not had (or paid any attention to) safeguarding training. He then rang my 'normal' agent and told her to ring me because I was going off on one. I wasn't. He was just being sexist because I called him out on talking over me which is not in line with safeguarding training. Someone that has had a significant trauma needs to be heard out, pacified, not talked over and dictated to.

I then made the complaint, explained the situation, and sent the recording with this man and said I'd made it for personal use as due to previous PTSD I actually block out confrontational situations, so at the time I was making the recording it was in line with GDPR so I alone could listen to it back later and validate myself. I then explained that the other female agent called and said she didn't like going to work because of the behaviour of this man, implying it was similar (being domineering) to what I'd experienced and demonstrated.

They then said it had been dealt with. Fine.

I asked if the footsteps/movement I could hear upstairs was a cleaner prepping for the next tenant, because I hadn't heard anything and I was scared by the noise. I work nights and have been unable to sleep. Normally I sleep from 8am til about 4/5pm. Could he ask (female agent) to give me an update via phone or email please? Could she confirm he was suitable for the building? In the 6 years I've lived here it's been single women or single men with children (once). If it's a volatile man with mental health issues being put in a building with a lone woman when he's admitted that he broke in because I 'reminded him of someone' then they need to rethink. He's unstable.

He's just replied saying that it's 'another' agent company that deals with it (the charity), so he will 'try' to find out from them. Sort of implying that 'my' agent within this agent (iyswim) isn't working there anymore. I really hope I haven't got her fired, especially if Dickhead Agent still remains.

I know about this man. I have friends who are landlords and he manages their properties. He doesn't do a thing, money for retainers seems to disappear with no invoices and every woman is, shall we say, treated differently to the men. If this is a culture of behaviour I really don't want this to be my problem, but I can't live with it if they've fired her and kept him.

Anyone here that wants to judge me for my response, it is a very obvious trauma response, and that Crazy Tenant stood in the doorway and it was 50/50 - 6 feet from me in a straight line with no escape - as to whether he was going to go for me or walk away. Fortunately for me, he happened to walk away. But I feel sick everytime I think about if he'd made a different choice, because I'd have been defenceless.

OP, so sorry to hear about your experience.
Everything is still raw and definitely remains terrifying for you. Having to deal with people less than patient, understanding and professional can be pretty triggering.
Your feelings are valid. Hopefully, the lady has not been fired.

Healing will come.

(I apologise it has been a while since i read your OP, i can't remember.)

Is moving to another part of town an option? Or another town altogether? Different agents/landlord/environment.

(I am heading into an appointment and didn't want to r&r).

You could try asking your local councillor if they can help. The tenants will placed there by social services. If your council is better than ours they might be able to take steps to make sure it’s a tenant who can actually cope with normal living on their own.