Why have a 'gender reveal' party if you clearly want a specificly a boy or girl?

[Healingsfall]

Couple I know who's baby is due in January had a "reveal" if boy or girl this weekend. He found out at the scan and planned a reveal for his partner and family/friends.

The last few months she has been saying they think it's a boy, he (her partner) would love a boy etc and they are excited to find out what they're having.

They filmed the reveal and posted it on Instagram, and he looks despondent from the outset, and as they pull the confetti tube things and it pops with pink confetti you can see the disappointment on both faces whilst trying to mask disappointment and act happy. If anyone is a Sex and the City fan it's like watching miranda pull the "excited " face when saying it's a boy!

Clearly, all the people in said video thought it was going to be a boy because their reactions as the pink confetti is displayed wasn't a complete reaction of joy, more surprise, and delayed congratulations. It was really weird.

I found out if boy or girl at the birth of both my children and remember being completely thrilled each time. I can't imagine reacting so deflated at the sight of pink or blue confetti having built everyone up what we thought they might be?

And that explains why people call them gender reveal party’s, because only the wrong sort of guests would turn up if you invited them to your sex party 😂

I didn’t want tons of either pink or blue. And if you do see nice stuff, just get it. What does it matter what colour it is?

A sex party sounds SO much more fun though

Why have one, anyway? So tacky. And imagine feeling any kind of ‘disappointment’ at (what should be) such a special time.

A bit embarrassing when you turn up in your bondage gear.

@Healingsfall I don't get the scenario? He found out at the scan but the mother didn't? How? (And more importantly, why?!)
And then he planned the party even though he was disappointed it was a girl? And he let the mother go along for months thinking it was a boy and getting excited?
Wtf is wrong with him?

Because, although I would put a boy in pink I wouldn't put a boy in a dress or something overly frilly or "girly" so I wouldn't buy anything like that unless I knew I was having a girl.

I've got boys and girls so I don't prefer one over the other.

I just bought babygros where I liked the colour and pattern - boy or girl wasn’t relevant.

The only time I can see people I know caring is if there was an sex linked inheritable disease.

But then they wouldn't be doing a "gender reveal" anyway.

Btw how can a fetus have a "gender"?

I think you can stop after ‘Why have a gender reveal party?’

I am no fan of public gender reveals, But Can you really not understand that people might think differently to you, and need to prepare a different way to you?

Goodness me, how single track you must be.

I found out with my second as she had an anomaly that meant regular scans and monitoring from 20 weeks. As she was having difficulties from then it felt helpful to bond, knowing her sex and therefore her name.

'Oh no, the baby will be female and therefore more likely to outlive me' 😂😂😂

Surely needing to know the babies sex so you can bond with them due to an anomaly is different to needing to know so you can paint the baby's room blue or buy specific coloured clothing

Gender parties are obviously naff as anything but I'm finding out at 20 weeks. I will be happy either way but I know myself and I am an impatient person. I also want to know how much I need to sort through the 500 bags of baby clothes I have from DS!

People can be so weirdly pious about not finding out. I suppose it's the delayed gratification element. But it is still a surprise just a surprise earlier!

hate those videos of the male partners clearly disappointed they are not having a son, huge red flag!

Yes and equally women disappointed it's another boy. I've seen that with a few influencers which is just gross as their children will watch it one day! Also it's so insensitive to people with infertility/ loss.

A foetus doesn't have a gender.

Nobody actually has a gender, other than grammatically. A gender isn't a thing that a person can have.

I wonder whether the fashion for "gender reveals" has caused people to say gender more often when they mean sex?

A "sex reveal" sounds like a potential crime, and a "sex reveal party" sounds like something you definitely shouldn't invite your parents, siblings and in laws to.

I waited until birth to find out the sex of mine every time, but I must admit I love watching GR reels on Facebook. They're mostly so joyous.

But yeah, if you've got a strong preference either way then just... don't.

Having found out at birth for one baby and before birth for the other, I can definitely say it’s more exciting to have a gender reveal! In our case, DD1 was 13 and had been an only child up to that point, and we thought it would be fun for her to pop a balloon and find out whether she was having a sister or brother. Finding out at birth was almost an afterthought; you’re so overwhelmed and stunned that a baby is suddenly in the room, you don’t really take it in. I’m glad I’ve had both experiences though.

How do they know the gender when the baby hasn't had a chance to tell them what their pronouns are?

Hear hear. Well said .

@Healingsfall

Get this - you think one way, someone else thinks another.

A baby inside you - some people want to know, some don't.

Please tell me you're not this black and white in real life?

I suggest you read the op. It's not about reveals per se, more about having one when a preference has been very obvious.

It’s entirely performative, and wouldn’t happen without the drive to turn our lives into shareable content.
What’s a bit different here is that they KNOW they are disappointed but the need to perform shareable content is so paramount they’re even willing to expose that negative emotion to scrutiny.
That smacks of desperation.

Nothing like this would happen if megacorps didn’t make money from us doing it.