Why have a 'gender reveal' party if you clearly want a specificly a boy or girl?

[Healingsfall]

Couple I know who's baby is due in January had a "reveal" if boy or girl this weekend. He found out at the scan and planned a reveal for his partner and family/friends.

The last few months she has been saying they think it's a boy, he (her partner) would love a boy etc and they are excited to find out what they're having.

They filmed the reveal and posted it on Instagram, and he looks despondent from the outset, and as they pull the confetti tube things and it pops with pink confetti you can see the disappointment on both faces whilst trying to mask disappointment and act happy. If anyone is a Sex and the City fan it's like watching miranda pull the "excited " face when saying it's a boy!

Clearly, all the people in said video thought it was going to be a boy because their reactions as the pink confetti is displayed wasn't a complete reaction of joy, more surprise, and delayed congratulations. It was really weird.

I found out if boy or girl at the birth of both my children and remember being completely thrilled each time. I can't imagine reacting so deflated at the sight of pink or blue confetti having built everyone up what we thought they might be?

If you google gender reveal gone wrong/gender reveal death etc you’ll find loads of news articles but here’s one with a few different ones listed https://www.todaysparent.com/blogs/trending/gender-reveal-parties-that-ended-in-tragedy/

Also a couple I remember reading about

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-56159731.amp

and

amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/oct/29/homemade-pipe-bomb-caused-accidental-death-at-gender-reveal-party

I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant and we've only started telling people in the last week or so as we wanted to wait for our 20 week scan before sharing our happy news. We opted to find out the baby's sex as we wanted to be able to start referring to them as 'he' or 'she' between us. When we started to tell close family and friends they sometimes asked if we knew what we were having yet and, when told we were expecting a girl the response was universally "how lovely". I expect they'd have offered the identical response had we said we were having a boy. While close family members may be interested in knowing if you're having a boy or a girl, it should make absolutely no difference to the way they react to the news. It would be psychotic if they were to express disappointment about the sex of somebody else's baby!
I think gender reveal parties are very odd, though each to their own, but I do feel sorry for the guests at this particular party who were put in the awkward position of figuring out how to act when faced with two obviously disappointed expectant parents, it must have been a most uncomfortable experience for all attendees.

i absolutely detest them. Who do people want them? What is their point?

@Sunnyperiods Here’s one where a gender reveal led to a forest fire that destroyed five homes and killed a firefighter. (The couple were charged with manslaughter)

amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/jul/21/couple-gender-reveal-party-wildfire-charged

Like so many other things, this idea needs to fuck off back to America and stay there.

think it would be more like knowing Christmas is happening but not being allowed to buy presents for it until after.

My husband misunderstood and was totally confused about the nature/timing of gender reveal parties.
He thought, bless him, they took place after the baby was born. So like everyone gathered round the house of the new parents whilst the baby was held aloft, like Simba.
I almost wish it so.

Utter trash

(Not you op) why on earth would they put it online?? Why would they do it in the first place. It's trashy

That's cute

Also "funny" videos where they reveal the babu's gender is girl and the little boy throws a tantrum and the dads all like "you and me both buddy" kind off thing. What a lovely video for the daughter to look back on (small children being weird about little sisters is fine. The dad needs to grow up)

Can’t bear gender reveals. Think they are tacky and grabby (and also what happens if some goes wrong with the pregnancy and you have all that stuff).

I found out my daughter’s sex at birth. It was the most wonderful surprise and everyone was so excited to hear about her birth because they didn’t know in advance. Even a nurse stuck around after her shift to find out.

A gender (or more correctly, sex) reveal party is one of our more nauseating u.s imports.

That, and obvious strong sex preference. People should just be quietly happy about having a healthy baby.

The only thing more naff than a gender reveal party is a baby shower.

But you really shouldn't do it if there is any chance you are going to experience gender disappointment.

Haha exactly this. No one cares except the parents and they know already.

I found out the gender of 5 of my children at their births. It was only when the NHS started offering 20 week scans that I found out my sixth child's gender. I actually felt a bit disappointed about ruining my surprise but it did give me a chance to prepare and buy blue bits and pieces (didn't need much after having 5 children already).

I do agree, and I had 2 surprises with my boys. But I became quite fixated on knowing the gender once others on my online baby group started finding out so we caved and found out. I do think I sometimes ruined the best surprise I’d have ever had, but I don’t think I could have gone another 20wks not knowing. Well I could have, but it was my last pregnancy and I didn’t want to spoil it wondering. I’d have loved another little boy just as much of course and I’m very close to my adult sons, I just wanted to experience a daughter. Must add my boys were a lot easier!!

It’s Sex Reveal.

And tacky, grabby, attention seeking and the cringiest cringe ever. I don’t know anyone in RL who has done it.

Ugh, and the whole pink - blue thing.

The whole "we needed to know in order to prepare " speech is also bizarre.

A baby is a baby, you need nappies, feeding and somewhere for them to sleep. The decoration of a room or clothes you put them in doesn't matter to a baby, the pink or blue is entirely your preference.

And me - there’s no need to find out in advance of giving birth - you can’t change the outcome!

Why do people have a gender reveal party?

Because for some women 9 months of pregnancy doesn’t bring them enough attention.

It should be called a sex party anyway.

And let’s not forget scans can be wrong. So you go through all that cheesy crap and then have to tell people that Alice is actually Andrew or whatever.

It just seems to be another excuse for presents. Baby Shower - here’s a present. Gender Reveal - here’s a present. Baby actually here - here’s a present.

@Healingsfall I know babies need certain things and anything else is the parents' choice but if you know and you do happen to see items you'd like you can buy them. They might not still be available after the birth.

Find out at the scan of not as you prefer, but no need to pollute the planet with helium balloons, smoke, plastic props etc.

And it seems to fuel sex stereotyping before the poor kid is even born.

I didn’t find out the sex before birth for various reasons, but if I had I wouldn’t have let anyone know that I knew , didn’t want to hear the barrage of sexist crap that gets spouted.