Man in 40s says one of the things he looks for is someone who likes kissing

[Elizo]

This was in messages between us on an app that were previously about what we like doing etc

I find this a bit icky. AIBU?

So did you ask him what he looks for in a partner or did he just randomly say this?

I like the same. It’s ok for you to find it off putting but others like it? Horses for courses

You’re entitled to get the ick over anything that makes you feel that way but I don’t understand why an enthusiasm for snogging would be in the realms of off putting if you’re hoping to be romantic?

Well i mean I can think of 1000 worse things he could say. I guess it depends if this is him just testing the water to then quickly move on to dick pics and how he likes anal and strangling. Tell him you like kissing too so you can see where he goes from there I guess.

Ha ha. The mind boggles 😂

I disagree! It’s fairly important to me (I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t like kissing!) so wouldn’t waste my time pursuing dates with someone who didn’t.

It’s only a bit weird if you were just discussing general hobbies at the time and you’d said ‘gardening’ but he said ‘kissing’

Depends on the context. If you were having a discussion about things you like in a partner then I think it’s perfectly fine. Some people are more tactile than others and it’s best to find this out. He might be feeling he would rather be with someone who he can kiss as and when they both want to.
Equally it’s fine for you to throw anyone back into the pond for whatever reason,

I think it’s an important thing for both of you to like. It would be an issue if one loved it and the other didn’t.

We recently discovered friends of ours never kiss other than a peck on the lips and we’re still pondering it!

Are men in their 40s not meant to like kissing, how is his age relevant here? I'm in my 50s and love a good passionate kiss with the husband.
If it's given you the ick though let him go.

I’d only find it strange in that I’d take it as a given 🤔. Maybe he had a previous relationship where she didn’t like kissing. Or as a pp said it could be a gateway question to more sexual stuff. I’d say you like kissing and see what happens!

Maybe he had a previous relationship where she didn’t like kissing.

This was my first thought. He missed kissing in a previous relationship and wants to be sure the next one will include it

Not icky at all. He is making his preference clear, nothing wrong with that. He probably didn't have a good experience in his previous relationship. Or he wants to check that you don't have any issues with it. I know some people where the woman doesn't like kissing beyond a peck.
Also not sure what his age has got to do with it. Would it be ok if a man in his 20s said so?

Hmm, I have had plenty of dates and the kind of man who'd say this is the type who can't keep his hands off you 🤢 🐙
YANBU.

I like his openness because I HATE kissing. So maybe he was with someone like me and he didn't like it. It makes my husband a bit sad that kissing really makes my skin crawl...moreso as I've gotten older.

I'm middle aged and prefer a cup of tea with my feet up rather than a kiss. However in my 20s I loved a good snog.

You could just say yes I'm affectionate too.

At the end of the day you both may LOVE kissing but find there's no spark in person...kissing other people maybe!

That would give me the ick too.

Yep I agree, it's a way in to check if you'll do anal or somesuch. Honestly.

quickly move on to dick pics and how he likes anal and strangling

Yep, that's how it goes these days.

Agree its a bit much for a pre meet convo, kind of laying down an expectation of a kiss.
Also.... with OLD imagine the person you are chatting to is talking to multiple people at the same time. The thought of a guy saying this to multiple women feels so ick.

Feels reasonable to me - I have dated people who really didn't like kissing and found it made us incompatible.

I'm not a kisser. I know I'm in the minority . This would be a deal breaker for me and I couldn't have a relationship with someone that it held great importance too.

(Tongues are gross, keep your food flecked tooth licking pink big fat pink slug in your own mouth and out of mine. ).

I think it sounds odd to us because he makes it sound like waterskiing or stamp collecting - a hobby or pastime in itself. I love kissing my DH, but that’s because I want to kiss him - nor because I just love snogging in general. There’s a a sort of weird detachment in it, like it doesn’t matter which warm body is around on which he can do this thing he likes.

He is flirting, wants to check if you would be interested in a relationship.
If what you want is a friendship, then stop messaging him, just do not reply. Or say, not for me, thank you.
As approaches go, I give him an 7/ 10.

Would be a no from me.

I don't mind kissing but prefer other things like vampire kisses on the neck.

The thought of someone putting this as a perquisite would not offend me but I would politely decline.